Another flake?

[cessna]

Remember my story about a girl I met in a bar who was all over me, wanted to meet up and then I never heard from again?... Well I took your advice and left it. Never heard from her again. It's cool though because I have a new problem to take my mind off that!

 

I meet a girl a few weeks back in another bar, we went to school years ago and haven't seen each other since. We hit it off though, chatting away, she asked for my number, I made her laugh a lot and we ended up making out a few times.

 

I asked her to meet me for a drink on a certain day, she accepted but then on the day had to bail out because of work. I was disappointed but I know these things happen so gave her the benefit of the doubt. Plus she suggested a new date which made me think that it was genuine.

 

Day of the new date comes around and again she texts me saying that she is feeling unwell... She apologised and promised to make it up to me. I know that she was ill and actually ended up in hospital for a while. I messaged her saying it's cool and that I hope she gets better soon. She replied saying that she'll let me know as soon as she's better.

 

I found out today that she is clearly out of hospital as she went out with friends for lunch according to facebook.

 

I'm kind of unsure where I stand now. She seems interested and I don't think she is the type to not be honest with people but I just get the feeling that she doesn't want to meet up anymore...

 

Do I leave it and wait for her to contact me (if she does at all) or should I (as part of me wants to) just message her being honest and asking her if she still really wants to meet up.

 

I know in the 'dating world' that will be a big no-no but I'm a straight up honest guy and I hate playing games so I don't expect to be played myself.

[cessna]

My rule about someone canceling on me is that it is up to them to reschedule, which they will do, if they are actually interested.

 

Seems like a good rule. She did the first time and the second time said it will have to be 'sometime next week' I'm guessing because she didn't know when she was leaving hospital...

 

So do I just stick it out and if I hear nothing back for, say a week, delete her number?

[cessna]

Anyone else?

[Chemist]

Anyone else?

 

If I am cancelled on, that is it for me. I do not go out of my way again unless they were genuine, offered another option, or later contacted me to invite me to something.

 

If I am friends, and see them again, depending on their action or if I really like her, maybe I ask a second time. That is it though.

 

I also have a serious rule on three invites. If I invite, and they do not accept, counter offer, or later invite me to something, then I just assume they aren't that interested. This isn't just dating either, for friendship stuff too.

[cdt76]

Two cancellations and I'm done. I don't care what the reason is. Car accident, hospital, dog died. DONE. Move along little doggie. It turns into a game and if they were really interested they'd make the move and hit you up to meet.

[Toodaloo]

She was in hospital, she was ill...

 

Give her a ring and if she doesn't sound too keen then sod it move on.

[CaliGypsy]

If were me and I was interested in someone I'd text them or call when I got out of the hospital.

 

Just wondering , if she thought you might come and see her in the hospital ? Or might be a little hurt that you didn't ?

 

I'm upfront as well and prefer it in others.

[Omei]

Her story sounds genuine to me.

 

I think you should just ask her again. From what you said it doesn't sound like she doesn't want to she just keeps getting stuck I would ask just one final time.

 

Don't mind the lunch with friends keep in mind you guys are newly connected if she was ill and in the hospital her best friends that she's known for years of course would get the priority when she's out.

 

You guys arnt in a relationship people saying she should go straight to you after is kind of nonsense

 

Just ask one last time

[Omei]

Two cancellations and I'm done. I don't care what the reason is. Car accident, hospital, dog died. DONE. Move along little doggie. It turns into a game and if they were really interested they'd make the move and hit you up to meet.

 

Those are all good reasons life happens, I don't get why you think your dates should take priority over those very serious reasons, unless you're under the impression they're truly lying.

[cessna]

Her story sounds genuine to me.

 

I think you should just ask her again. From what you said it doesn't sound like she doesn't want to she just keeps getting stuck I would ask just one final time.

 

Don't mind the lunch with friends keep in mind you guys are newly connected if she was ill and in the hospital her best friends that she's known for years of course would get the priority when she's out.

 

You guys arnt in a relationship people saying she should go straight to you after is kind of nonsense

 

Just ask one last time

 

Thanks for all the replies people. I think that it is totally genuine too and I understand that friends and family will come before a guy she barely knows yet. I wouldn't expect her to come straight to me I just don't want to appear over eager or pushy. I think I'll give it a day or two and if I've heard nothing I will contact her one last time.

 

CailGypsy, I think going to visit her in hospital would come across as very clingy!! I kept it simple and sent her a message saying that I hope she feels better soon. I thought that was the reasonable thing to do. She was ill so I didn't contact her after that, it wasn't my place too and the timing wasn't right!

[doeblin]

I think I'll give it a day or two and if I've heard nothing I will contact her one last time.

 

Yes, that's the correct way to deal with flakes. Be cool, wait a few days, ask again, if she flakes again, move on.

Three strikes.

 

 

I think going to visit her in hospital would come across as very clingy!!

 

Right, hospital visits are only for close friends and family. Be polite, but give her space.

 

So basically you know what to do.

[Trane]

I would wait for her to contact you and pursue other ladies. Sounds like this second woman doesn't value your time as much as you do hers. I've been there before and foolishly went back again.

 

You can't control who you like and you can't control who someone else likes or dislikes. Your first impression and whether she feels that so called "spark" or wants to feel that spark is up to her.

 

I believe a woman will actively search hard for that spark when it's not there if you have all the knight in shining armour qualities and the good looks she desires.

 

In the case where there is a spark, but you're not up to her physical standards, I wouldn't put it put it past her to drag you along. She might try to find a better looking replacement for you in an effort to see if there truly is a spark.

 

Don't cut her out but don't put anymore effort into her. She doesn't deserve the respect of your time with this behaviour. Find a lady who does. She could very well make you forget what you've been trying so hard to get over.

[Beautiful Kisses]

She's not that interested, she might like another guy more. I'm would know because I met another guy after a different one kept playing games. Similar to your story,but I'm not that interested in him even tho he's showing lots of interest because I need to FULLY move on from the last jerk. Anyway just leave her alone & let her come to you!

[cessna]

I text her last night, never got a reply so I'll leave it now. If I don't hear back by the end of the week (I'm really not expecting to) then I'll delete her number.

[cessna]

A little update, for what it's worth.

 

I was on a dating website earlier and her profile popped up (we both know each other is on this site). On it she states how she's not into playing games and how she is straight up, that it is either a yes or a no...

 

What am I to make of that now? Is it worth messaging her and just asking her where I stand because I'd just like to know now really.