GG3 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I recently went on a date with a guy who is overweight. I couldn't care less. I really like him as he is. I'm slender and am in pretty good shape right now. But my weight goes up and down by 5-10 pounds and I'm always trying to control it. I really couldn't care less about someone else's weight, just my own and I am attracted to him regardless. He made some comments that he is going to work on his weight and diet and I got the impression he was worried. What can I say as a compliment to show I don't care without coming off sounding fake? Saying "I like you the way you are" I feel is like saying "I know you are overweight and it's okay." I don't want to say that. But when he says those things and I say nothing then I feel like a jerk for saying nothing. And I don't want him feeling insecure and trying to lose weight for me. He can do whatever he wants, I don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 You don't really need to tell him anything. Just the fact you are dating him should be enough for him to know you don't care about his weight. If he wants to work out and get in shape, let him. If he's not doing him for him, it probably won't last long anyway. You are not responsible for fixing his insecurities. Only him can do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 You don't have to say anything But you could be supportive if he truly wants to lose weight a good start is having a partner you guys could work out together make it your thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I recently went on a date with a guy who is overweight. I couldn't care less. I really like him as he is. I'm slender and am in pretty good shape right now. But my weight goes up and down by 5-10 pounds and I'm always trying to control it. I really couldn't care less about someone else's weight, just my own and I am attracted to him regardless. He made some comments that he is going to work on his weight and diet and I got the impression he was worried. What can I say as a compliment to show I don't care without coming off sounding fake? Saying "I like you the way you are" I feel is like saying "I know you are overweight and it's okay." I don't want to say that. But when he says those things and I say nothing then I feel like a jerk for saying nothing. And I don't want him feeling insecure and trying to lose weight for me. He can do whatever he wants, I don't care. Give him a hug and a kiss and show him you really care for him (and I do not necessarily mean sex here.) Laugh at his jokes and take his opinions seriously, make him feel you love being in his company. Actions often speak louder than words. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 "I'd be attracted to you at any size." Link to post Share on other sites
Author GG3 Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 Just to be clear, I felt like he was saying that because he was worried about what I think of his weight. Interesting perspectives from you guys so far, not what I expected. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 He made some comments that he is going to work on his weight and diet and I got the impression he was worried. "Good for you" What can I say as a compliment to show I don't care without coming off sounding fake? "I certainly look forward to the time we spend together" If you're sincerely attracted to him, show that by your actions, by being in his physical space, touching him, kissing him, etc. No need to make overt comments on physicality. If at all, comment where you've noted he's made a special effort to prep himself for a date with a 'you look great/dashing/handsome, etc tonight' or similar. Good luck with your dating experience! Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I recently went on a date with a guy who is overweight. I couldn't care less. I really like him as he is. I'm slender and am in pretty good shape right now. But my weight goes up and down by 5-10 pounds and I'm always trying to control it. I really couldn't care less about someone else's weight, just my own and I am attracted to him regardless. He made some comments that he is going to work on his weight and diet and I got the impression he was worried. What can I say as a compliment to show I don't care without coming off sounding fake? Saying "I like you the way you are" I feel is like saying "I know you are overweight and it's okay." I don't want to say that. But when he says those things and I say nothing then I feel like a jerk for saying nothing. And I don't want him feeling insecure and trying to lose weight for me. He can do whatever he wants, I don't care. If you are trying to compliment an overweight person and are on here asking how to do it and not be fake, you are being fake and you arent really trying to tell him that he is great looking but rather are trying to stroke his ego because you like him. How about compliment him on how he treats you, how he has sex with you, give him a bj, jump him on the couch - rather than playing into his weight issue. I dont care how fat a man could be but he will still be pretty happy with a bj. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 If you are trying to compliment an overweight person and are on here asking how to do it and not be fake, you are being fake and you arent really trying to tell him that he is great looking but rather are trying to stroke his ego because you like him. How about compliment him on how he treats you, how he has sex with you, give him a bj, jump him on the couch - rather than playing into his weight issue. I dont care how fat a man could be but he will still be pretty happy with a bj. Sex sex, sexxxx... is that ALL you think about, ktya? Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Don't comment on it. Doing do, will only call attention to what he may perceive as a negative and trigger greater insecurity. Focus instead on complimenting him on the things you find attractive about him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Don't mention the weight. To show him you don't care about it and find him hot, just act normal. Spend time with him, touch him, laugh at his jokes, ask about his life. Go on dates. To actually mention his weight might trigger off some massive insecurity. I know for example if I had a problem, say I had wonky teeth, I would assume that a guy dating me didn't mind them or he wouldn't be dating me. If he turned round and said 'you know I think you're gorgeous whether you get braces or not', I would feel really self conscious that he'd drawn attention to it. Or even worse 'I don't care about your teeth, I fancy you' *shudder*, implying that it's a fault most people would see as enough to not date you. It's really unnecessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GG3 Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 Don't mention the weight. To show him you don't care about it and find him hot, just act normal. Spend time with him, touch him, laugh at his jokes, ask about his life. Go on dates. To actually mention his weight might trigger off some massive insecurity. I know for example if I had a problem, say I had wonky teeth, I would assume that a guy dating me didn't mind them or he wouldn't be dating me. If he turned round and said 'you know I think you're gorgeous whether you get braces or not', I would feel really self conscious that he'd drawn attention to it. Or even worse 'I don't care about your teeth, I fancy you' *shudder*, implying that it's a fault most people would see as enough to not date you. It's really unnecessary. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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