harnold Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 What are some good topics that are pretty deep that make for really good conversations? I.e. thoughts on religion, career, stuff like that. Let's hear em! Link to post Share on other sites
Jules Dash Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Read the newspaper and watch the news daily and you're covered. Be open to new ideas and knowledge. If someone you are interested mentions a political or philosophical interest, read up on it a bit. Just being familiar in an area of her favorite interest can go a long way. I generally stay away from religion and won't go too far into politics. These areas can potentially be areas of conflict and if not handled with good skill, can turn your date off. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 You know just bare your soul totally to the other person,you know nothing could be deeper because you are going totally above the surface of things to the face we present,yeah. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Current events, especially world politics Hot button issues: gay marriage; the death penalty; abortion etc. usually stir passionate debates The existence & roll of God in the world If you want to get personal: their deepest fears; their worst heart break; their fondest dream Link to post Share on other sites
Author harnold Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 If you want to get personal: their deepest fears; their worst heart break; their fondest dream Ooh nice, any more like this? Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Deep conversations often involve things you are most uncomfortable talking about. Things that effect who you are at your core. Things, very few people know about you, things, you may not even be sure of yourself. For example. While at my house last week my GF came across an Anger Management book I had. She asked if she could borrow it. I said sure. Little did I remember, that I had filled out all the quizzes on anger styles way back when I bought the book. I bought the book during a low time of my previous marriage, when I was angered and upset by the lack of intimacy in our relationship. Well, after she'd read the book, and my quiz answers, she asked if we could talk about it. At first I was upset that she'd read my answers, but then I realized...well, I lent her the book It ended up being one of the deepest, most heartfelt conversations I've had in..I can't remember how long. She took the quizzes too, and shared her answers with me. We saw a lot of ourselves in our answers, and, also so how our anger styles led to some of the disagreements we've had. It was a deep, but light hearted, conversation. Something I NEVER could have done with my ex-wife. I feel so much closer to my GF after this. I think I've found a real keeper. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I generally stay away from religion and won't go too far into politics. These areas can potentially be areas of conflict and if not handled with good skill, can turn your date off. If you skirt around big issues like politics and religion, then you may be in big trouble later. If your gf is a dyed in the wool Republican (assuming you are in the States) and you lean heavily to a Democratic way of thinking about things, then you are going to fight about that and that may be a deal breaker later on. So fine, avoid such topics if all you want is sex, but if you are looking for a relationship, then the fact, she has strong religious beliefs or is into saving the planet, or is against gay marriage, or has racist views, needs to be explored. In the news daily there are always topics that can fuel discussion, keep current and do a bit of reading around it before you go on a date. Look for the signals and act accordingly, if she looks uncomfortable or bored or is just staying silent, switch the topic to something lighter or more popular maybe. Bill Cosby may be in the news, but bringing up rape on a first date may be a bit scary, so always best to choose the topic well, to cause least offence until you know her better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfire73 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 You can talk about Values, what's important in his/her life, dreams, like dream vacations, dream jobs, passion, what to do if you win the lottery, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Wow, I could give you quite the list as about half of the conversations with my GF are of the deep variety. However, let me start out with one we had the other day that was pretty amazing. Dialects: It started out with a simple question from her: "How do you prefer to take your affirmation?" In non-relationship-wonk-speak that means (as far as my Cro-Magnon man brain can process) if she is going to say thank you, or good job or some other form of affirmation, what the is the best way to say it so that it has the desired impact on me. I had to think about that for a while and the result was really cool. I had a perfect example at my fingertips. Earlier that day I had sent flowers to her office for no reason. When she received them she called me up and said thank you (recognition) and how pretty and amazing they smelled (appreciation) and how they made her cry because she felt so loved (for lack of a better term - impact or result). As I explained this to her the most important thing wasn't recognition or appreciation for me, it was that they made her cry and feel loved - the impact or the result. By far - hands down - most important. We've all heard of Love Languages. But this goes beyond language - it is really more dialect. I asked her the same question and her reply was value or uniqueness. She enjoys hearing that I love her and think she's amazing. But she thrives when I tell her why. Soon we were digging into our preferred dialects for all sorts of things - disapproval, disagreement, consolation/empathy, etc... I had never done this to this level with anyone else before and it was incredible. Highly recommend! Start out with affirmation by the way - a much more enjoyable conversation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Tolerance. The older I get I'm finding myself more intolerant of people who's beliefs aren't in alignment with my own. Intimacy can be a difficult topic, in my marriage it was extremely difficult and often frustrating beyond belief. I really appreciate and enjoy being able to talk about it now. Talk about the things you find most meaningful in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I couldn't do this with my bf it would feel so formal and analytical and strange,like rehearsing before sex or something :laugh:,but maybe you just mean you analyse things after they happen, like now your gf knows her crying makes you happy, will she cry more? That doesn't seem very organic, Probably I don't understand. Wow, I could give you quite the list as about half of the conversations with my GF are of the deep variety. However, let me start out with one we had the other day that was pretty amazing. Dialects: It started out with a simple question from her: "How do you prefer to take your affirmation?" In non-relationship-wonk-speak that means (as far as my Cro-Magnon man brain can process) if she is going to say thank you, or good job or some other form of affirmation, what the is the best way to say it so that it has the desired impact on me. I had to think about that for a while and the result was really cool. I had a perfect example at my fingertips. Earlier that day I had sent flowers to her office for no reason. When she received them she called me up and said thank you (recognition) and how pretty and amazing they smelled (appreciation) and how they made her cry because she felt so loved (for lack of a better term - impact or result). As I explained this to her the most important thing wasn't recognition or appreciation for me, it was that they made her cry and feel loved - the impact or the result. By far - hands down - most important. We've all heard of Love Languages. But this goes beyond language - it is really more dialect. I asked her the same question and her reply was value or uniqueness. She enjoys hearing that I love her and think she's amazing. But she thrives when I tell her why. Soon we were digging into our preferred dialects for all sorts of things - disapproval, disagreement, consolation/empathy, etc... I had never done this to this level with anyone else before and it was incredible. Highly recommend! Start out with affirmation by the way - a much more enjoyable conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 First of all, you can't just pick topics at random; they should be things you're knowledgeable of, or have some interest in. Every now and then it's fun to just plunge headfirst into a completely new idea, but you usually need a little grounding. Over the past week my boyfriend and I have talked about: - the nature of religion (ancient traditions of fearing God and being distant from God vs. modern traditions of God as a big happy guy in the sky who loves you) and how it's evolved over time - identity (is it determined by internal or external factors?) - femininity (what makes something "feminine"? Social conditioning?) Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Any topic can be explored in depth. Depth is arrived at by matter of approach. You could have a deep conversation on the meaning of "in depth". The easiest way to start is to always ask "Why?" The farther you take that question with each answer, the deeper you'll get. More often than not you'll wind up with far more questions than answers. In a way it's how you arrive at each other's core values and beliefs. At some point the answer becomes "Because that is what I value/believe." "Why?" "See above answer" Link to post Share on other sites
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