Rexxy Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I'm 20 years old and my mum has brought me up to respect all women the same regardless of what they look like etc So I tend to be nice to all women, have conversations, in the end a lot of the girls ask me out. I don't get onto subjects where it would cross the line of leading them on or anything like that. But when I get a message like "Let's get a coffee", "When are meeting up?", and so on I have no idea how to reply so I usually just leave the message hanging but feel terrible that this happens. How do I avoid getting into these situations because I feel bad turning down a girl? Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Stop asking for or giving out numbers to girls that you're not interested in - seems pretty simple to me. Be polite and courteous but don't let it get past that unless you're interested. There is a difference between being nice, and leading someone on...and it seems as though you're unintentionally guilty of the latter. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 It's hard to hurt somebody's feelings but it can also be "cruel to be kind". If you like the person & enjoy chatting with them, you can say "we can grab a coffee as friends next week if you like. I'll meet you there." A savvy person understands that there is no romantic interest there. If you couldn't even stomach coffee with this person, just say something vague like "I don't think that is a good idea." If they press you will have to be more direct & say "I'm sorry. I think you are a great person but I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with you." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You could say that you are already dating someone at the moment. Are they ugly or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 'Sure, I love having coffee with friends' 'Yeah, for sure, do you mind if I also invite our other friend X'... Nothing kills the date attitude like an invite to a group, lol. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
slizl Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You can kindly give them my phone number....I won't reject them haha Link to post Share on other sites
Blakely Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You could always say that you appreciate the offer but you are seeing somebody new who would be hurt if they found out you were seeing other people . Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You could always say that you appreciate the offer but you are seeing somebody new who would be hurt if they found out you were seeing other people . Only say this if it's true. Fake SOs, while common, are still lies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skyblue707 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You could say that you are already dating someone at the moment. Are they ugly or something? That's some great advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I'm 20 years old and my mum has brought me up to respect all women the same regardless of what they look like etc So I tend to be nice to all women, have conversations, in the end a lot of the girls ask me out. I don't get onto subjects where it would cross the line of leading them on or anything like that. But when I get a message like "Let's get a coffee", "When are meeting up?", and so on I have no idea how to reply so I usually just leave the message hanging but feel terrible that this happens. How do I avoid getting into these situations because I feel bad turning down a girl? I think all of what you said was a lie 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Snowman219 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 You could say that you are already dating someone at the moment. Are they ugly or something? Isn't he talking about one person? Now you got me really confused! Link to post Share on other sites
Snowman219 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Tell her you are gay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 "It's really kind of you to invite me, but I'm afraid I won't be able to." And just leave it at that. YOu could add: I'm really busy" if pushed, which is the sign - at least in western countries - that nothing is goign to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I'm 20 years old and my mum has brought me up to respect all women the same regardless of what they look like etc So I tend to be nice to all women, have conversations, in the end a lot of the girls ask me out. I don't get onto subjects where it would cross the line of leading them on or anything like that. But when I get a message like "Let's get a coffee", "When are meeting up?", and so on I have no idea how to reply so I usually just leave the message hanging but feel terrible that this happens. How do I avoid getting into these situations because I feel bad turning down a girl? Simple: I would like too, really, but I'm seeing someone right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 A lot of these replies have helped me, it's hard to turn someone down without sounding like a dick sometimes. I told one of the girls "You're a really great person but I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship right now" and got reply saying "What a snob you turned out to be" Clearly I unintentionally lead these girls on through conversation when I think I'm just been genuine and friendly. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing though. Thanks for the help. In conclusion it feels as if even having a facebook conversation with a girl leads them on so I think I'll keep the responses short and not open ended unless I have a keen interest for her. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Lol I really enjoyed this thread. Fine work, lads and ladies :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
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