Hesjustnotthatin2u Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I've been dating a this guy for about a month now. We've been on 6 dates. We are two different people socially... He was one of the most well liked guys in highschool - friends with everyone. Me on the other hand, had as many friends as I could count on one hand. (We're 25 now) He is currently going to grad school and has made a ton of friends at college. My friends however, are all getting married and we're going our separate ways. So I'm not used to going out much.. when my friends and I hang out, it's pretty low key. Well, the other day he asked me to come out to this bar/dance place with all his friends. I'm expecting about 20 or so of them to be there. I have not met any of them yet, but I know they're a big deal in his life and they're all very outgoing. I am so nervous I feel like I could throw up. He broke up with a girl he dated for over three years last year, and I Feel like they will all be comparing me to her. Apparently, she fit right in and was just one of the guys. I have a bit of social anxiety so I'm just freaking out. I plan to have a couple drinks to loosen up while I'm there so that I'm not 100% awkward. Any other tips anyone can give me so that I'm not so nervous and can ensure a good night meeting his friends?? What if he goes off chatting with all his buddies and I'm left alone without knowing anyone!? :/ This is my least favorite part in the beginning of every new relationship.. but I know it's something that needs to be done :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 The important thing I'd imagine is to take the bull by the horns and kinda treat it like a job interview (except their opinion of you matters waaaayyyy less). Ask questions, be interested and try to have fun. If you hide behind your Bf or demand he tend to you and include you front and centre all night you won't score many points. You don't have to be one of the guys but if you're engaging and friendly you should be fine. As a note I met one of my husband's friends once and he was disgustingly awful to me from the second I met him, just horrible. My husband cut him away that same night - keep an eye out for any rude behaviours and if they occur see how your Bf reacts to them. He may love his friends but your comfort should be a priority too. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Wear something that makes you feel beautiful & confident. Be yourself but be polite & gracious. The friends probably will compare you to his EX. That's human nature. But you should go in thinking you are going to come out on top of that comparison. Remember the friends were there for the ugliness of the break up too. If for no other reasons than you make him smile again, they will like you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I would normally say something like, "relax, everything is going to be just fine," but somehow I don't think that will suffice. One way to lessen your anxiety is to stop thinking about everything bad that could happen. His friends may or may not compare you to the other girl, but so what, you can't control someone else's thoughts anyway! Plan on this being great fun and the natural progression for any good relationship. It's a good sign that he wants you to meet his friends. Relax! Everything is going to be fine... Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I'm thinking of why you would be nervous. Do you have something to lose from all of this? Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I would be excited to meet my new bf's friends, but I am an outgoing person who knows everyone to begin with and it's never a problem. It is a big step, no doubt, and that shows that he is serious about you and likes you if he introduces you to his friends. If you are so anxious about it, you should seek professional help in order to work through this anxiety, it's not a laughing matter. On the other hand, this is also a litmus test. If you meet a friend who doesn't like you, then it's a major issue. Years ago I introduced my bf to my friends, and two female friends wrote me scathing hot emails telling me how much they hated him weeks later. Needless to say, we (as in me and the two female friends) are no longer friends. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Your scenario is so common! Men and women in my area we left school and the girls separated the guys stuck with their crowd. Go and enjoy, feel good, dress comfy and don't overdo it. Smile lots and interact - be you. Don't let him look after you too much. For him this is big..he likes you a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
skyblue707 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Oh wow! You are sooo lucky. That's always a good sign when a guy wants to introduce you to his friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts