ExposedBrick Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 5 months. When we first started dating, I noticed she was on the quiet side but didn't think it was a big deal. After going through a variety of activities together over the months, I've learned that she is very introverted and social activities seem like a burden for her. I on the other hand love social activities and am a true extrovert. She is a really nice, intelligent, ethical, and great person. While I know she really likes(maybe even loves) me, I just feel like my communication and social needs are not being met. I find myself seeking the company of friends when we aren't together to help meet my needs. We discussed this before without resolution. I'm feeling very frustrated and my feelings towards her seem to have plateaued at a strong liking of her. I think I need to break up with her but I feel really bad. The thought of hurting her makes me really sad.Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 First of all, you should have other friends. She shouldnt be the only one in your life. Are you saying that she's not giving you enough intellectual stimulation? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 In RLs we have to figure out what our deal breakers are. If you want someone to chat with on the regular and it's a big deal to you - then I guess you got a decision to make.... I'm a quiet person, but I come out of my shell in public settings. I mean, often times I'm the one initiating conversations. Last family/friend get together I went to, everyone was on their phones. I kept my phone in the purse and got up and talked to people. My sibling's ex was quiet to the extent that it was just rude. She'd stay upstairs and call out to him when we'd come over. Now, if your gf is like that, then maybe it's time to launch. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 My sibling's ex was quiet to the extent that it was just rude. She'd stay upstairs and call out to him when we'd come over. Ah, but was she quiet to your brother when it mattered most? You know Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 , I just feel like my communication and social needs are not being met. I find myself seeking the company of friends when we aren't together to help meet my needs. That's normal to spend time with your friends when you aren't with your girlfriend. In fact it's healthier that way. You shouldn't expect your girlfriend to meet all of your social needs. , I'm feeling very frustrated and my feelings towards her seem to have plateaued at a strong liking of her. I think I need to break up with her but I feel really bad. The thought of hurting her makes me really sad.Any advice? If that's how you feel then breaking up with her is doing her a favour. She deserves to be with someone who appreciates her. Don't put off the break-up just because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Do it next chance you get and don't let her talk you into changing your mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 If dating a shy person is a deal breaker than please do her a favor and breakup with her. She deserves someone who loves her for her. I am a really shy person so I can imagine how she probably feels. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I think I need to break up with her but I feel really bad. The thought of hurting her makes me really sad. Any advice? There really is no worthwhile reason to go against what your mind/heart/soul is already telling you. At the same time, I know that others' experiences aren't enough to help us sway our own mind. Yes, it may or will hurt her now...but it will only be more devastating to her later. And yes, delaying it WILL ease your in-the-present discomfort...but WILL exacerbate BOTH your discomfort AND her hurt feelings, later. So, you do now get to choose between those two scenarios...you have the power and control to choose. Sometimes, choosing the "right" thing (as felt on the inside) isn't also the easiest thing. Drats, huh? But that's how it is. Hugs, and best. Link to post Share on other sites
heartshaped Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 When you're staying only for the sake of not hurting a person you are already hurting them. Yes, she will be hurt at first, but in time she will heal. Better than leading the poor woman on. Personally, I'm an extrovert as well and through dating experience I've just learned introverts aren't for me. Our needs/lifestyles are just completely different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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