lukeadkins Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 she lives an hour away and was coming down last night. she said the earliest she would get here is 6 and i said thats fine at 6 she texted me syaing she would" be here at 7". i said "ok no problem." she then said "i know you are irritated or dissapointed im not on time but appreciate that im coming. i giving up time with friends and breakfats with my brother. im going to gain time with youand its worth it but just letting you know." i said ...did i say i was irritated or upset? she said, "so your fine with me an hour late" i said.".well yea", then she said she could end up "going to her meeting then". i said "ok i mean you never gave me a set time" she said "you missed the point. im sorry that i tried making extra time for us" i said "omg" she said "im over it ill come another night" i said" whatever" and she said " never works to" she ended up coming and we had a nice time i wasjust bothered that she was accusing me of not understanding what she gave up to come see me and that i was irritated when i wasnt was i wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 @OP..... The key here if this repeats itself in the future, is NOT to get dragged into the melee' in the first place. It was a bait, and you took it hook line and sinker. Why? Because you started it off with this line... i said ...did i say i was irritated or upset? Just think if you hadn't open your mouth and said it. I am glad it worked out in the end, but learn from it and try and see where I am coming from. A woman that is willing to make the drive from 1hr away, deserves a little bit more from you. God knows some can't even be bothered to make a 30-45mins drive. I'll say get her flowers for next time. She won't see it coming, and the shock factor will remain with her for a while. Note: I am not talking gas station flowers here, put some effort into it. Link to post Share on other sites
maysj18 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 She's being ridiculous. "Okay, no problem." isn't the least bit confrontational. You maybe could've explained yourself a bit better by saying "I'm not upset- just take your time, it's really no problem." or something but still, she sounds annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 What you're missing is that she wanted you to be upset that she was an hour late. She wanted you to be so looking forward to seeing her, that an hour delay bothered you. She wanted you to care because she was putting herself out. She didn't get that reaction from you, and you can clearly see from the rest of the conversation that she took it to mean you didn't really care if she came over or not, which upset her. When she said: "i know you are irritated or dissapointed im not on time but appreciate that im coming. i giving up time with friends and breakfats with my brother. im going to gain time with youand its worth it but just letting you know." The correct answer if you'd interpreted her message that way was "Hey, it's okay, I appreciate you're making a lot of effort to come and see me tonight, and I'm looking forward to seeing you!" Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 This so where you need to be a man and call her on her ridiculousness. Explain to her that you realize she is trying to start an argument over nothing, because you were not upset. Tell her you will not participate in an unnecessary argument. Jesus Christ, that's just ridiculous. It would be really hard to be attracted to a woman who was emotionally unintelligent. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 she lives an hour away and was coming down last night. she said the earliest she would get here is 6 and i said thats fine at 6 she texted me syaing she would" be here at 7". i said "ok no problem." she then said "i know you are irritated or dissapointed im not on time but appreciate that im coming. i giving up time with friends and breakfats with my brother. im going to gain time with youand its worth it but just letting you know." i said ...did i say i was irritated or upset? she said, "so your fine with me an hour late" i said.".well yea", then she said she could end up "going to her meeting then". i said "ok i mean you never gave me a set time" she said "you missed the point. im sorry that i tried making extra time for us" i said "omg" she said "im over it ill come another night" i said" whatever" and she said " never works to" she ended up coming and we had a nice time i wasjust bothered that she was accusing me of not understanding what she gave up to come see me and that i was irritated when i wasnt was i wrong? This is juvenile behavior for a woman. She wants you to be clingy while she is saying she isn't being clingy. This is irrational as well. Is/was there something else bothering her? "i know you are irritated or dissapointed im not on time but appreciate that im coming. i giving up time with friends and breakfats with my brother. im going to gain time with youand its worth it but just letting you know." She was assuming you were upset. Have you typically been upset with her being late? Is she often late? This is also passive/aggressive behavior. How old are you guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 This so where you need to be a man and call her on her ridiculousness. Explain to her that you realize she is trying to start an argument over nothing, because you were not upset. Tell her you will not participate in an unnecessary argument. Jesus Christ, that's just ridiculous. It would be really hard to be attracted to a woman who was emotionally unintelligent. Completely in agreement with you here. Is she typically a drama queen? Or shows signs of it? This just screams drama to me. Maybe she gets off on it; I dunno. Either way, I would be very skeptical of this one. So much so that it would definitely be a strike against her. If she tried to pull that **** again, our relationship would be in question. I would have also definitely called her out on it. For sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Doesn't it kind of sound like she wanted an argument to be started to she could then just pulltthe " fine whatever " and go out with her friends without having to feel the guilt of bailing? That's what it sounds like to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I hear what you are all saying...but anyone pause to see where the OP went wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I hear what you are all saying...but anyone pause to see where the OP went wrong? I saw your previous post where you suggested he be apologetic with flowers. Might as well get " welcome " tattooed on your forehead. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I hear what you are all saying...but anyone pause to see where the OP went wrong? He did nothing wrong. What about being more than accepting of her tardiness is wrong? Pretty sure this makes him a "good" dude. I agree with Keenly here. She just wanted to start something so she can have an "out." She wanted him to look like a douche. Like I said, he should have called her out on her **** snd told her the manipulation tactics are for little girls and she should grow up. She is the one that is absolutely wrong. Any woman would tell you the same thing, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I saw your previous post where you suggested he be apologetic with flowers. Might as well get " welcome " tattooed on your forehead. Perhaps am getting softer? See, am not all mean after all Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I hear what you are all saying...but anyone pause to see where the OP went wrong? No. Sorry, but I am a woman too and I think she is being ridiculous and immature. Threre's no place for that in an adult relationship. If she's feeling insecure for some reason, she needs to give a voice to those feelings and not snipe with passive-aggressive remarks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 No. Sorry, but I am a woman too and I think she is being ridiculous and immature. Threre's no place for that in an adult relationship. If she's feeling insecure for some reason, she needs to give a voice to those feelings and not snipe with passive-aggressive remarks. Assumption that they are both adults???? I agree that if this was an adult relationship, then it's not on, but there is no mention of age by the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
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