OrangeSnack Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) Hey all. I just want to know what are your tips and advice on being more confident when dating a woman? For instance, I would setup a date with someone but I sometimes feel like they will cancel last minute. I know it's a good idea to call or text her before the initial date but sometimes I feel like I don't want to come off as needy. But there are other times when I feel like I should just go with my emotions. Btw the date is set for this coming Saturday. I'm taking her to a cooking class. It should be super fun! She's a great gal and our last date was a paint and sip class (highly recommended!!!). I think I'm beginning to have feelings for this gal but sometimes I think it might be too soon to release my feelings for her in such an early stage. She's never had a bf or have been in a relationship before and she's almost 27!!! But anyhow back to topic, what are some things you guys can suggest I do to overcome my lack of confidence in this department. It's hard for me to talk to my parents because I don't really feel comfortable talking to them about my relationship and dating life. I think the generation gap is vastly different and given that they are immigrants to this country I feel they might not understanding "our" dating scene. I think I can talk to my mom about it but I don't feel like she would offer any good advice or confidence booster. My father on the hand, well, he's fairly difficult to talk to and because of his personality, we don't really click. I'm starting to feel that my lack of confidence is due to the fact of my relationship with my father. But honestly, I don't want to blame others for my weakness, I think that's just a bit immature. I'm not the most experienced person when it comes to dating. I have a great career (my own company) and I would say it's fairly successful! But somehow I can't carry my confidence from my career to my relationship/dating life. I don't know why. I've even gone as far as seeing a psychiatrist but it seems like he was just nitpicking my childhood and the absence of my father. In other words, I felt like it was a waste of money and time so I stopped seeing him. I've read plenty of novels and that doesn't seem to help because the practicality part isn't there. Somehow I think I just need more practice or possibly not have all my eggs (women) in one basket. Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciative Thank you for your time and understanding. Edited October 29, 2014 by OrangeSnack Link to post Share on other sites
rdet123 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I think confidence is more so revolved around knowing who you are as a person. Standing firm in your beliefs and holding yourself to a certain standard of how you want to live your life and how you treat other people. I think if you're having confidence issues, maybe you should look inward and really ask yourself why. I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you've had with your dad, and I know that could definitely be a contributing factor. With the girl you're going on a date with I would say just text/call her whenever you feel like you want to. Obviously she likes you enough to go on a second date so that's a good sign. Don't space too much time in between dates, because she might think you've lost interest. Just go with the flow and let things progress naturally 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 OrangeSnack, Getting confidence in dating comes from having confidence generally and you can work on developing that. You say that I have a great career (my own company) and I would say it's fairly successful! so you know that your are competent and smart when it comes to business. OK, so you can build on this. I would suggest that you join some groups/clubs/societies where you can meet women as friends without any expectations. If you can get comfortable and confident just being around them, you are halfway there. Also, you'll have something interesting to talk about on your next "real" date. Your ideas for dates seem very interesting. It's a very good idea to have activity dates like this at first, so that you are busy actually doing something and not sitting across a table in a restaurant wondering what to say. Stick at it and you'll do fine. Everyone gets nervous before dates with a new person, so don't worry. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 fake till you make it. Crazy, but acting confident will teach you to be confident. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OrangeSnack Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Wow great advice yall thank you so much Fake it? So you're saying all confidence is is a piece of pie? Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Faking it is great advice. If you fake it long enough, it becomes real. Also confidence comes from a strong self worth. As Arieswoman was saying, if you know you have a talent you can build on that. Say to yourself "Why wouldnt this woman like me? I can start my own business" or "I'm a fantastic guy, a woman should be happy that I care for her and want to see her" Link to post Share on other sites
Jules Dash Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I suggest building your confidence in that area indirectly. Find something else to build your confidence such as a nice career and/or working out to make you feel really good about yourself. This will spill into other areas of your life such as dating. Link to post Share on other sites
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