samverhoeff Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 So I met a girl at a concert, got her number, called her, set up a date. Day before I date I text her asking if shes still good for the date. No reply, next day I get this reply: "Hey I'm so sorry. I've been really sick the past few days and put off texting because I really wanted to go tonight but I really can't see it happening. I'm so sorry. Are you free next week at all?" I know it could mean anything, but in general, is this an easy way of letting me down? Is it common for females to say they are sick before a date if they are just not keen? Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 She's asking about next week. Pick a couple days you're free and have her pick one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author samverhoeff Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 She's asking about next week. Pick a couple days you're free and have her pick one. I texted back and said "All good, I hope you are feeling better, would Monday 7pm next week be good?", no reply back yet To be honest I would of let her choose a day next week, but I have read too many damn articles about being the "man" and making the dates and times, I really have no idea if that is the right way to go, its all so confusing Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I texted back and said "All good, I hope you are feeling better, would Monday 7pm next week be good?", no reply back yet To be honest I would of let her choose a day next week, but I have read too many damn articles about being the "man" and making the dates and times, I really have no idea if that is the right way to go, its all so confusing I think you're fine. It's cold/flu season now anyways. I will also usually hold off on texting someone to cancel if I'm sick in hopes I do get better. A positive sign is that she asked to reschedule and didn't just flat out cancel. I think it's good you picked a date/time. I personally like when guys do that instead of leaving things up in the air. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I think she is sick. If she didn't want to see you she wouldn't try to rebook. I wouldn't want to see anyone when I am ill either. Good luck for next week. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 When the other person genuinely likes you they offer an alternative date. This girl did that. Take her at her word. She's too sick to meet you but would like to see you next week when she's well. If she was blowing you off all you would have gotten was I'm sick with no attempt to reschedule. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Since your situation JUST happened to me OP, I can tell you that since she suggested a future time "next week" it's highly likely that she's still interested in meeting you. Since you contacted her with "Monday at 7 pm" you've clearly communicated that you're still interested in meeting. Hopefully she will respond to your invitation. If she doesn't text or call you by the end of this week, well then she's a flake unfortunately. I got the same excuse this past Saturday from a guy I was supposed to meet for a first date, who said he had the flu and couldn't meet. Since he didn't offer me a rain-check, I knew his flu was an excuse and I haven't heard a peep from him since. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author samverhoeff Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 I am feeling its a flake? I agree that the fact that she mentioned doing it at a later date made it not seem like a flake. 3 days later though and no reply from her, I called and no answer. Should I be pretty sure its a flake and move on? Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I am feeling its a flake? I agree that the fact that she mentioned doing it at a later date made it not seem like a flake. 3 days later though and no reply from her, I called and no answer. Should I be pretty sure its a flake and move on? She wouldn't have suggested an alternative if she wasn't sick - but 3 days still isn't necessarily enough time to worry over. Let another day pass and if no contact, you can ask her if she's feeling better. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author samverhoeff Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 She wouldn't have suggested an alternative if she wasn't sick - but 3 days still isn't necessarily enough time to worry over. Let another day pass and if no contact, you can ask her if she's feeling better. Good Luck Thanks, Can you or someone else explain the logic on how 3 isn't long, I mean if I was interested in someone and got a text, I'd leave it 3 or 4 hours so I don't seem desperate, then reply back Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks, Can you or someone else explain the logic on how 3 isn't long, I mean if I was interested in someone and got a text, I'd leave it 3 or 4 hours so I don't seem desperate, then reply back since you answered her , and didnt get an answer , I believe it's a flake . Sorry OP . Plus you also call. Dont contact her again . If she like you she will comeback ! Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 She wouldn't have suggested an alternative if she wasn't sick - but 3 days still isn't necessarily enough time to worry over. Let another day pass and if no contact, you can ask her if she's feeling better. Good Luck So 3 days after he texts (including a phone call sprinkled in) isn't long enough, but 4 is? How is this even logical? He gave her a date, she never responded. I'd assume 1 day is good enough. OP, you've done enough and your gut is telling you she is a flake. NEXT. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author samverhoeff Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 So 3 days after he texts (including a phone call sprinkled in) isn't long enough, but 4 is? How is this even logical? He gave her a date, she never responded. I'd assume 1 day is good enough. OP, you've done enough and your gut is telling you she is a flake. NEXT. That is what I thought. The logic of "I am keen" and not responding to a text in 3 days just doesn't seem to go hand in hand to me, unless she has gone and read some rule about not replying straight away to not seem desperate, but I am just fooling myself if I am going to think that is the reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 sam, if your gut's telling you she's a flake...listen to your gut. 3 days and no response from her? Flake. Unless she's quarantined with Ebola, or puking up as much as Linda Blair in the Exorcist, or is constrained in a full-body cast from head to toe - her silence is not a good sign. I've texted people when I've been in the throes food poisoning, the flu, car accidents, PMS-induced sappy romantic movie marathons because my fingers worked, and like At&t's tagline, I wanted to reach out and touch someone. If she's not texting you back, she's just not that into you. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samverhoeff Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 sam, if your gut's telling you she's a flake...listen to your gut. 3 days and no response from her? Flake. Unless she's quarantined with Ebola, or puking up as much as Linda Blair in the Exorcist, or is constrained in a full-body cast from head to toe - her silence is not a good sign. I've texted people when I've been in the throes food poisoning, the flu, car accidents, PMS-induced sappy romantic movie marathons because my fingers worked, and like At&t's tagline, I wanted to reach out and touch someone. If she's not texting you back, she's just not that into you. Sorry. Thanks, exactly what I thought really, now time to learn to get over it and move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 So 3 days after he texts (including a phone call sprinkled in) isn't long enough, but 4 is? How is this even logical? He gave her a date, she never responded. I'd assume 1 day is good enough. OP, you've done enough and your gut is telling you she is a flake. NEXT. I'm not saying per se that 4 is the magical amount of days. It's getting in touch without seeming too keen or desperate as this can put a person off. I think if you like someone you owe it to yourself to do a little bit of chasing, but within reason. Like, the way I see things are, unless you're in a relationship or have come to some verbal arrangement of exclusivity, then you owe each other nothing, everything is up in the air until you get to this point. Dating is sometimes hard work and can take courage as your ego can sometimes be bruised. I only gave 4 days as a guideline as you're clearly interested, you want to preserve some element of dignity and as I said earlier, not seeming too keen. I wish you luck, if you text her and she doesn't reply at all, then you can put it to bed at least. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks, exactly what I thought really, now time to learn to get over it and move on Sorry to hear that but hey, at least you are free to date more women and find one who will reciprocate communication with you without excuses, because she likes you, very much just as you are (as Mark Darcy said to Bridget Jones...and yes I went there but the moment called for some romantic comedy to diffuse the tension. ). Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I am feeling its a flake? I agree that the fact that she mentioned doing it at a later date made it not seem like a flake. 3 days later though and no reply from her, I called and no answer. Should I be pretty sure its a flake and move on? It depends on how sick she was. I may reach out & call her in a week but then I would definitely move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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