Eighty_nine Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I'm going to sum this up as best I can- I'm bisexual. More experienced with guys, recently experienced with women and I'm definitely into both genders. This summer I admitted to a friend of a friend that I had a kind of crush on her. We started seeing each other, casually. Long story short, we had a falling out and did not speak for 2 months. I was disappointed, because I really liked her, but I assumed it was over. SO, I begin online dating. Don't have a lot of success until recently, when I met a guy I like. I've been out with him 3 times and as of the last date, officially decided I definitely liked him. Then, he added me on FB. After my first date with him, the girl comes back into the picture. We hang out one night, make out, but again I'm confused and not sure what she's thinking. Last night she asks me to date- says she doesn't want us to just hookup- but actually try dating. This makes me really excited, because I like her. Now. She just came out as gay a couple years ago. So I'm scrolling through the guys facebook feed last night- and what do I see? A post from the girl I like. I'm curious and so I look through his FB albums. And what do I find? At least 5 pictures of them cozy together. I'm looking at the screen like WTF. I think the girl I like and the guy I like may have dated... yep. And I think it would really piss her off if that's the case. But I can't ask them. They don't know I'm seeing other people (both are VERY recent) WHAT do I do here?!?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Well, you do the only thing you can do......let them both know the truth. Tell the guy you're bi (if he doesn't know already) and that you've dated the girl. Tell the girl that you just met the guy on line and that you've been out with him a few times. Let them make their informed decisions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somecamel Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I'd be thinking 'Threesome' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I'd be thinking 'Threesome' Some people actively look for a third... maybe they're playing an angle. Seemingly interesting situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eighty_nine Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) Well, you do the only thing you can do......let them both know the truth. Tell the guy you're bi (if he doesn't know already) and that you've dated the girl. Tell the girl that you just met the guy on line and that you've been out with him a few times. Let them make their informed decisions. So... I can't play dumb here, then? They are not FB friends anymore (which really makes me wonder what happened). If I didn't scroll through his page, I never would've known. Part of me wants to just pretend I don't. The other thing is, at such an early stage do I owe either of them an explanation about who else I'm seeing? I feel like if they didn't know each other, I wouldn't have to mention anything yet (since I'm not sleeping with either of them)... does this situation make it different? My OkCupid account, where I met him, does say I'm bi... so hopefully he at least took note of that, so if this all comes up he won't be totally shocked. I'm very stressed about this. If I weren't into one of them, I'd just back off, but I genuinely like them both. Her a little more, but I think it's just because I have known her longer. ***NOTE... I forgot to include this in my first post, but the pictures/comments I saw of the two of them were from 3 years ago, and since they are no longer FB friends, I'm worried it did not end well. Edited October 23, 2014 by lissvarna Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I suppose it depends on who you want to get serious with. If they no longer talk and aren't friends (and you know this for sure) you at least ought to let them know you're seeing other people. At some point you'll have to make a decision......I wouldn't put it past the universe that you'd eventually cross the paths of one while you're with the other. THAT would be real awkward if everything weren't out in the open. Link to post Share on other sites
Day.One Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Some people actively look for a third... maybe they're playing an angle. Seemingly interesting situation. This.678910 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eighty_nine Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 I suppose it depends on who you want to get serious with. If they no longer talk and aren't friends (and you know this for sure) you at least ought to let them know you're seeing other people. At some point you'll have to make a decision......I wouldn't put it past the universe that you'd eventually cross the paths of one while you're with the other. THAT would be real awkward if everything weren't out in the open. Well, I don't know if they are friends still or not. I assume not because they're not FB friends. But I guess I should try to find out, right? I can't ask her; she'll get upset I think. But I could casually ask him I noticed, from facebook, that he knew my "friend." Ugh! I don't want to mislead anybody... I just don't want to be in this situation. I wish I had not figured it out. Based on the coziness of them in these pictures, I'm about 90% sure they were some sort of item. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eighty_nine Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 This.678910 A friend said this too, but they are no longer FB friends and the pictures I saw of them are years old. Plus... he would have had to go out of his way to find me on the OLD site... so I think that's unlikely. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 This is classic! I had something like this happen with a bi girl I dated once too. Well I guess it was two bi girls now that I think about it. Ya I don't know what I would say on how to proceed. With him you have to admit to FB stalking his profile. Maybe you just mention him to her and see her reaction. At any rate, your Bobby Fisher days seem to be coming to a close. Looks like you'll have to make a decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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