damien201 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I was hoping someone here would have insight on how to make a relationship work when the couples work and sleep schedules are very misaligned. We have been together for about a 1.5 years now and are very committed to each other. I work as a professional musician and she is a care taker in an small assisted living home. She is usually up and getting ready for work by 7AM and home around 5 or 6 in the evening. I'm usually getting ready for work around 5 in the evening and am home around AM, sometimes a little later. By the time I'm back home getting ready for bed she has usually been sleeping for hours and doesn't want to be bothered. When she gets up in the morning, I'm usually half way through sleeping and don't want to be bothered. When we were first dating this was a non issue. I should also add that both of us have been working more. Now that we're living together, it feels like we're always in each others way. It hasn't been much of an issue so far, but the sleep interruption is wearing on both of us I can tell. We get in little fights (that blow over in an hour) when one of us is woken up. I don't want this to become a real problem, and I was curious if anyone had any suggestions on how to live more easily together. Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 When I was with my Ex, we both had different sleep/work schedules. I worked days, she worked swing shifts. She was a police officer. The only way we found to make it work, was, separate beds. We couldn't do it any other way and hope to get a restful sleep. Mind you, the separate beds were only for sleeping, we'd still get together for "other stuff". Though we arent' together any longer, I don't believe the separate sleeping arrangements were the cause of that. It's nice to sleep together, but not if it's causing a lack of sleep, and fights. Plenty of people sleep in separate beds and still lead loving fulfilling lives. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 damien201, both my husbands were shift workers and the only thing that worked was moving into another bedroom when they were on the "awkward" shifts. My first husband worked "three by eights" = 6am-2pm, 2 -10pm & 10pm - 6am. We slept separate on 2-10pm so I didn't get woken up when he came in at 10.30pm. I had to be in work at 8.30am, so I was up at 7.00am My second husband works in transport so sometimes he gets up at 3.00am to get on the road early. Other times he leaves later and may not get back until half past midnight. Again, I move out into the other room so I can get a decent night's sleep. We can always get together in his big king-size bed when his shifts allow it .... Link to post Share on other sites
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