Eighty_nine Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm sure this has been asked here many times... but how do you manage this kind of situation? In the past I have never really dated more than one person at a time; it just never felt right. However, I have a tendency to put "all my eggs in one basket" and get attached too fast and I do think dating around a bit (not sleeping with anyone, though), could help me avoid that. Lots of people seem to suggest it. So, there are two guys from OLD sites that I've recently met, and I like them both (one a tiny bit more). It's worth it to see if there's relationship potential there. However, someone I was seeing in the summer who I had a falling out with (a girl, I'm bisexual) has reentered the picture and I feel more strongly about her than the others, for sure. Is it wrong to keep seeing them... and is dating 3 people at once too many? The thing is this person has showed me before that she can be a bit unstable. We're getting along very well now, but to bank on that working out and lose the opportunity to get to know others would be a pretty big risk. I guess I'm just saying, I feel guilty about dating around and wonder how others' manage it when there's one person they clearly have more feelings for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I feel ya girl, cuz around the time I started crushing on my crush I already exchanged telephone numbers with a guy I met on OLD and was chatting with him... I was thinking of continuing it with that guy, but was afraid if my crush saw me seeing someone else, he'd think I wasn't into him. It was a hard decision to make, but I did a "fade" with the OLD guy, didn't renew my OLD account and have been concentrating on my crush - which is a big risk cuz my crush has a lot of things going on that may result in him not even giving me a chance. But, if things don't work out with my crush, I'm hoping and excited to start off 2015 with jumping back into the dating scene - especially after the holidays are over with. So, I understand how uncomfortable it is to try juggling more than one guy. I think you really have to decide the pro's and con's of each guy and your situation. Now, if you're not sleeping with any of them and/or none of them have expressed a desire to be exclusive yet - then I don't see you hurting anyone. But, if they find out you are seeing other people, it may affect whether or not they think you actually want them or vice-versa. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 For me there isn't any sort of bright line rule when it comes to multi-dating. For me 4 was too much. 3 was manageable. My only rules were: 1. If one become an ongoing sexual relationship, then I'd either cut ties to the others or made real sure that they understood that I was seeing others. 2. If I found a lady that I really was connecting with, I would either table or cut ties with the others to focus on just the lady in question. You just have to go with your gut on this. For me, meeting women wasn't difficult so there was very little (I don't want to risk losing X and Y if Z doesn't work out). I either knew I was into a lady or not. If I was, there was no need to keep dating anyone else. Edit: When I met my current GF, I knew after the second date that I wanted to only focus on her so I pulled down the profiles and contacted the other women I was seeing to break it off with them. It wasn't even a question in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eighty_nine Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 If I were to go with my gut, it would be to stop seeing the two newer people and stick with the one who has recently fixed things between us... but she has shown definite instability and it would be a risk. I think I'll give it a little more time to see how she is and maybe go very slowly with the other two before then? Link to post Share on other sites
quidproquo89 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm planning to date two different women, luckilly they live no where near each other. So no awkward seeing the other person on a date. I would just enjoy spending time with both until you are really sure which one you want Enjoy yourself and feel good that you have lots of opportunities 1 Link to post Share on other sites
quidproquo89 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 If I were to go with my gut, it would be to stop seeing the two newer people and stick with the one who has recently fixed things between us... but she has shown definite instability and it would be a risk. I think I'll give it a little more time to see how she is and maybe go very slowly with the other two before then? personally I would wait a while to know for sure. Just see what the other two are like and look for signs of your original dates state of mind might be slipping Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Most would say, if they don't ask for exclusivetivity, then it's fair game. Then you have others, if it goes beyond a second date, they assume exclusivetivity. So use your discretion. Link to post Share on other sites
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