Trane Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 This girl from my past who I was interested in but never dated wants to hook up with me. I'm polite and respectful to her but I'm trying my best to steer clear of her. Am I a jerk because I don't want any part of her now? I made my pitch for her way back in college and she didn't want a thing to do with me other than borrow some of my class notes and hang with my taller good looking friends. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Yes you are a horrible person because you don't want to be with someone. It's your moral duty to get with every person who has interest in you. You have no say in who you get to be with. Come on. Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfire13 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 No, you're not a jerk. If you're not interested in someone, that's your prerogative, just like it was hers back in college not to date you. I guess you can get some satisfaction that someone who rejected you is now aggressively pursuing you lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Jules Dash Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Women grow up, mature and their values changes. As they gather wisdom after dating the wrong guys for so many years, many will start to realize that the guy that they wasn't so interested in during their wild 20s is probably the best guy to be with. Often, by this time, they have already experienced a lot of life including childbirth and buying homes. Many men get frustrated. It seems like all of the hot women are screwing the same 3 guys over and over while they have to sit back and watch. Why does my buddy make it look so easy, they ask themselves. The men say, okay, I'll show those ladies. I am going to get my **** together, go to law or medical school, buy myself a home and show them all. Once we achieve this success, we then talk about how the women didn't notice us before but now they are noticing us. Much of what men do, we do to attract women into our lives. One of the things we do is try to show some financial stability and improve our education. We do this for ourselves but also to attract women. Once we achieve financial stability and/or educational success, we then somehow resent the women who did not want us before but now wants us. We are suspicious of them. Why? We actively did something to improve our attractiveness and matured ourselves yet when we become more attractive, we also tend to be a bit bitter. The woman that has 3 kids now and a mortgage now is not necessarily looking to be saved, maybe you simply have become more attractive to her over the past 15 years due to some maturing and progression on both ends. You wanted to be more attractive, now that you are, live the life that you always wanted. Have the woman or women that you always wanted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Ah yes....it pretty much goes down hill from here on I guess you can get some satisfaction that someone who rejected you is now aggressively pursuing you lol. But we all know why, she is looking for Mr Wonderful to help carry some of the burden. If you take the bait, gawd forbid you find yourself paying step parent child support in the future, along with alimony. As yourself, do the pros out weight the cons? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 I get the 15 years, but is she married with three kids and a mortgage to pay? You did mention 'hook up', and it's pretty common for MW's in my area to want hook ups hence my question. OTOH, if she's single a hook up isn't a life-long commitment. Live a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 ^ bang bang bang Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 No, not a jerk, but certainly a bitter little summabitch. Now's your chance to get her back for the way she dissed you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 ^Whatever happened to turning the other cheek? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 No, you're not a jerk. If you're not interested in someone, that's your prerogative, just like it was hers back in college not to date you. I guess you can get some satisfaction that someone who rejected you is now aggressively pursuing you lol. Nah. I try not to waste my time with that stuff. Feeling satisfied that you can reject a person from your past who wouldn't give you the time of day is a poor way to live. I will say that I was honestly a tad bitter and slightly disturbed at first with the new attention she was giving me now. All this from a surprise meeting. I guess I'm not mean enough or nasty enough to tell her to go f**k herself because she thinks I'm good enough for her now. I know some guys that have no problems telling a chick where to go and how to get there and back. Funny thing, the first words out of her mouth when she saw me for the first time in many years was, "wow, I don't remember you having that good a body. You've lost weight and look really good now." With a half-smile I almost felt like saying, "wow, you got fat, old and deep in debt," but I didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 ^Whatever happened to turning the other cheek? I'm trying to turn one cheek, save the other and get away from her without being nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Yeah, I think we all sorta do some sort of "look how he/she turned out" stuff...but I don't think it requires obsessing and wasting energy over it. I also don't think it requires being nasty (i.e. rolling your eyes or snickering if you see them walking down the street)...that is just too much energy to waste on people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 Yeah, I think we all sorta do some sort of "look how he/she turned out" stuff...but I don't think it requires obsessing and wasting energy over it. I also don't think it requires being nasty (i.e. rolling your eyes or snickering if you see them walking down the street)...that is just too much energy to waste on people. Very true. I would think many of us have experienced an "oh the mighty have fallen" moment. The wasted energy is more on her doing because she's not going to get very far with me. I just can't help feeling a tad insulted though. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Funny thing, the first words out of her mouth when she saw me for the first time in many years was, "wow, I don't remember you having that good a body. You've lost weight and look really good now." Oh my goodness. I don't blame you for feeling insulted. This is an insult. She is insulting your former self of 15 years ago. You are the better person for not insulting her "current" self; but, if you did feel like throwing an insult back her way, you are forgiven. I'd cut her out completely. She sounds nasty and ego-driven. Here she is, after all this time, wanting to infringe upon your life and bring instability to it. It's all about her with very little consideration for you. The nerve of some people, eh? Who needs 'em? Link to post Share on other sites
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