lost in this Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 So my boyfriend stole from me a few weeks ago and I caught him on it. He was obvious about it and when I asked him he told me he had and replaced it saying that was what he had intended to do. Today he bought me dinner and I thought it was sweet until I realized it was with MY MONEY. I asked him what the hell was he thinking and he stared blankly at me and said nothing as if it hadn't cross his mind that he was in trouble. He still hasn't spoken to me because I left the room to chill down but I'm just fuming. I'm lost here, anyone have any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 You're with a brazen thief who thinks nothing of taking your money, and believes that such actions are ok, and you really need our advice?? LEAVE!! Run and never, ever even look back! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost in this Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 What complicates things is having lived together for two years. This is all of a sudden, I'm not one to stay with someone who is unkind to me which on that front I've never met a guy who has been kinder to me. I'm ashamed to say I've not been this secure in a relationship in the past until his betrayal which completely clashes which his personality. He is someone who spoils me and now has started taking without asking. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 What complicates things is having lived together for two years. It's not complicated at all. Two months, two years, 20... He's a thief and he's stealing your money and seems to believe he's entitled to do so. This is all of a sudden, I'm not one to stay with someone who is unkind to me which on that front I've never met a guy who has been kinder to me.Taking advantage of your good, loving KIND nature, is not kind. It's extremely disrespectful. My H desn't know any of my passwords, and refuses to be given them. He never ever goes into my bag or purse, if he needs anything, but hands it to me to open. He doesn't want to know my personal bank details, and has a deep and abiding total respect for my space and anything I possess. THAT'S "Kind". I'm ashamed to say I've not been this secure in a relationship in the past until his betrayal which completely clashes which his personality. No. He's so comfortable with you - THIS is who he really is. Believe his actions. He is someone who spoils me and now has started taking without asking.Because he thinks he can, and is entitled to. Either he can see the problem, or he can't. Given your prior reaction to his previous theft, and now, this, it's hard to imagine that he in any way feels his actions are questionable. If you stay, you give him legitimate cause to believe you will eventually accept his behaviour. That's up to you, but I bet now, your trust levels have sunk through the floor... and basement.... and foundations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 What complicates things is having lived together for two years. This is all of a sudden, I'm not one to stay with someone who is unkind to me which on that front I've never met a guy who has been kinder to me. I'm ashamed to say I've not been this secure in a relationship in the past until his betrayal which completely clashes which his personality. He is someone who spoils me and now has started taking without asking. Sounds like your blind to the issue. My cousin would steal money from anyone not looking. He would do the same as what you describe in his relationships. Just saying if he is willing to pinch money from you behind your back, then what else is he doing behind your back. Denying your respect is going to allow him to disrespect you... as he proved that at the dinner he bought with your money. I also had worked with a young woman, who constantly had to dig and find her BF from affairs. She would not let go because she loved his family and felt that he was good to her. Just telling it like it is, you are too emotionally attached to him and are giving up what makes you feel good about yourself, for what he gives to you. All it is going to do is leave you feeling emptier later on, if you should find more issues down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost in this Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Thank you all for your honesty, this has been hard to read but necessary. I am to emotionally attached and detaching is very painful. I see now that I've been avoiding that pain by trying to make excuses for him. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Are you really THAT desperate for a man? YIKES! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost in this Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Are you really THAT desperate for a man? YIKES! I guess so, just as you are an abusive, thoughtless, ill mannered child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Thank you all for your honesty, this has been hard to read but necessary. I am to emotionally attached and detaching is very painful. I see now that I've been avoiding that pain by trying to make excuses for him. You are one of many, and not stupid. You love him, have invested time and put effort into this relationship. It's natural to want to defend the person we love, because in our defence, we want to be right about them, and believe our heart, rather than the clear evidence. Rather like the mother I heard on TV, insisting her son was 'a good boy really, he didn't really mean to cause trouble, he was just a bit silly that night'. He started a fire in a cinema, then went on a rampage through town, breaking shop windows, assaulted several people and stole goods to a high value. He was arrested, and showed absolutely no remorse, saying instead that it had been 'a great night, really cool he would do it all again.' I'm not saying your situation is that extreme. But you're in the Mind-set that sees him differently, because of your close and intimate involvement with him. The Loving heart doesn't always respond to Logic.... Detaching IS painful. It always has been, and always will be. But he cannot be trusted, and will repeat the offence until you are beaten defenceless. I'm sorry we've all sounded so harsh, abrupt and 'final' about it, but really? Hard as it must be, you need to drop this one like a ton of bricks. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Are you really THAT desperate for a man? YIKES! That wasn't very well expressed was it? Love isn't desperation. Love is unconditional, and she loves him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I guess so, just as you are an abusive, thoughtless, ill mannered child. Talking to me or your "man" who steals from you? Link to post Share on other sites
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