ThisisIt606 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 This guy messaged me on meet up bc he saw we we're in the same singles group. Turns out he works in the building right next door to me and asked f I wanted to get coffee after work. We connected on Fb and I was able to see a few pics a although he was really private. The moment I saw him I really wasn't interested. Looked much different from his pics and no physical attraction. He also told me he's from Germany and only working here about 2 years and will " decided if he wants to stay or go back". I've dated foreign men before and in my experience they always " go back" or at least don't stay in my city. It's also very common for forigners to come do this job for a few years/ get credentials and leave. Great program for them actually but definitely not a long term relationship set up. I'm looking for a LTR. I'm not interested on the added factors of a visa, and uncertainty about staying I. The county. I definitely do not want to be his " right now " girl. We had a very short meeting for coffe under 45 mins which was fine with me as I had to go to dinner w a friend. Less than 20 mins in to the convo/ meeting me he suggested we get dinner sometime. He seemed like a nice guy but just not what I'm looking for physically or stability wise ( foreign exchange status) . He would be fine as a friend though. He sent me a messge through meetup late last night which said: "Hey, nice to see you today. I really think we could have good times and fun together;) what do you think? would you like to meet for an evening drink towards the end of the week? " I'm also dating mult guys and maybe found someone who I might like to date long term. It's way too early to tell but there is a guy thinking of at least and we have plans for tomorrow. NOW I'M WONDERING... Does he seem like he's interested in more than friends? How do I tell him I don't want to date him, just think we should be friends. We didn't even meet for 45 minutes so I'm not sure if he will " believe me" that I could get a just friends vibe in such a short amount of time, but I did. Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 The wink makes me believe he wants more than friends. Tell him you have plans this weekend. And leave it at that. You dont owe him an explanantion beyond telling him youre not interested in anything more than just friends. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Of course he is interested how can you not see that? The man asked you out on a coffee date then asked you for a second date for dinner. You can't get any clearer than that. How do you let him know? Decline the date and say you are not interested....simple. And don't make up some lie about being busy...that in no way tells him you are not interested. He will just ask you out again. I can't count the the times I have seen guys getting those excuses about being busy, and getting frsutrated when all they wish for is some honesty. This guy is a big boy, I'm sure he won't jump off a cliff if you reject him....harden up and tell him straight. Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 "I just want to be friends". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 yes, he wants to be more than friends. He also doesn't actually want to be your friend but because you do work in the same general vicinity, it would behoove you to be cordial. In reply to his message you need to write back something along the lines of "Thank you for your message & kind invitation. You seem like a great guy but I don't really see us being compatible the same way you do. I will not be able to meet you for drinks." Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Another one bites the dust. Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieFox Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 From what you have given us as information, I think he wants to be more than friends. Would you really want to be friends with someone who wants to see you naked and probably fantasizes about having sex with you? If not, don't put him in your friend zone. It's better to cut it off in early stages, you can always find more friends if that's what you want. But don't make this more complicated for yourself and for him. Reject him, and don't even mention you want to keep him as a friend. If he mentions it, then he really wants nothing more, and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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