Is this just a fling?

[allboys111]

So i met this guy online. i am 21 and he is 29. We dont really know each other that well. We were only talking for literally a day. and I was feeling spontaneous and decided to meet up with him the next day. We have been on 6 dates.

on our first date, it was fun. We went out to drinks. he then msged me a couple of hours later to ask if i wanted to go out for dinner. I, of course, declined because I dont have a car to get back home. He msged me the next day to set up another date which was a week later. Withing those days, it was dead silent. No msges what so ever. So i txted him. Just small talk and it ended in just 10 min. Date 2 came up, it was fun; we started making out on his couch. He told me to let him know when i get home. So i did, he never msged me back after that, until the 5th (friday) day. We only txted for about an hour but did not make plans. After that, it was silent again. i decided to msg him on monday then we made plans for the next day. He was the one who asked me to hang out the next day (3rd date). before the third date, he started txting me twice in a week to see how i was. So 3rd date was good, so was 4th. Then weve been thinking about having sex since 3rd date but actually havent done it until 5th date. but in between 4th and 5th, he was txting me everyday. after 5th he just msges me to make plans for 6th date. and after 6th date, he didnt bother asking me if i made it home okay. now he hasnt texted me for 3 days. But we made plans for this coming weekend, at the same time he told me a couple of days ago that hes gonna be busy for the weekend because of work. Im so confused, because when we're together, he seems like he's really into me. Keep in mind, he has a full time job that pretty much requires him to work everyday (the excuse i tell myself). I dont have him in any social media. I have tried searching him up but seems like hes not active anywhere. When we're together he DOES NOT touch his phone. Unless we need it for directions. Ive txted him first before and he always respond in under 5 min. Also, im always the one that travels about half an hour to get to his place and he never offered to drive me home. Is he into me, or is this just friends with benefits? I think I like him. A LOT

[Assasda]

He sounds into you.

To be honest, you sound a little immature though.

Why dont you tell him about the long drive you make?

[O'Malley]

Are you going on actual dates to movies, restaurants, public events? Or are you hanging out at his house? The latter aren't dates, in my opinion. One person shouldn't be expected to do all of the traveling; he should come visit you equally, or you should meet up halfway between your respective homes. If he has a car, this shouldn't be an issue.

 

His texts are just filler material and don't have any significance. He texts you, you come over to his place, then you leave. It sounds as though he can't even be bothered to offer to drive you home. His claims that he works all of the time, and the fact that he never touches his phone when he's with you seem a bit dubious as well. This doesn't sound like a situation where he has any serious intent towards you, if that is what you're looking for.

[stillafool]

 

I have tried searching him up but seems like hes not active anywhere. When

we're together he DOES NOT touch his phone. Unless we need it for directions.

Ive txted him first before and he always respond in under 5 min.

 

This guy sounds really smart. He leaves no trails.

[allboys111]

Yes we actually go on dinners every time were on a date. Like it's an actually date. But after we go back to his place. He pays for everything. And I just wanted some outsider to see my situation. I don't want one of my girlfriends picking on this because they can be biased

[allboys111]

This guy sounds really smart. He leaves no trails.

 

Actually he's on social media. But on fb he has less than 20 friends and it's similar for any other platform

[O'Malley]

Yes we actually go on dinners every time were on a date. Like it's an actually date. But after we go back to his place. He pays for everything. And I just wanted some outsider to see my situation. I don't want one of my girlfriends picking on this because they can be biased

 

When someone is really interested in you and wants the situation to progress to something more significant, they make more of an effort - whether that means routinely contacting you, offering to meet up with you or drive you home. Contact increases, not becomes more sporadic as things progress. They aren't vaguely busy either.

 

It doesn't sound as if he's going out of his way to put his focus on you, and that you might be picking up on that (your comment about the excuse you tell yourself about him being busy with work.) It also sounds like he might be seeing other women; even if he's not, it seems like you're more of an option for now, rather than someone he is intently pursuing.

[Atticus9292012]

In my experience, if someone is into you and wants the relationship to progress they want to talk more than just when they see you. I think for him it's probably just casual dating. This has happened to me a couple times and after a couple months I brought up the "r" word he of course wanted no part of that... If he's into he'll want to sustain the connection.

[Smarty Pants]

Who only has 20 friends on FB? Weird.

 

Sounds like he wanted to get in your pants.

 

Also, doesn't seem like that great of a guy if he wouldn't drive you home. My 2 cents.

[Zahara]

Duplicate post.