No sense of infatuation, what happened

[SpotyLove]

I've been dating a really pleasant, highly compatible woman over the past few months. We have similar views on personal finance and religion. I generally enjoy my time that I spend with her and I usually feel very at ease with her. Sex is good. I know she adores me. Unfortunately, I haven't developed a sense of infatuation or intense excitement towards her at any point. It's almost as if the chemistry is lukewarm, sometimes feeling strong and other times feeling very cold. It's fun but just not quite right somehow. I've been agonizing over this for a few weeks hoping that something would sway me distinctly towards falling in love or parting ways. I can't seem to resolve this internally, any suggestions for sorting out my thoughts or coming to the necessary resolution?

[Miss Awesome]

So when I used to go clothes-shopping, I would find myself in the changing rooms going back and forth about a piece of clothing.. looking at myself from all angles and trying to decide whether to buy it or not. It was inevitable that when I would buy those pieces of clothing, the ones that took so much contemplation, I never ended up wearing them - or I wore them and was unhappy with them. So it finally hit me: If I have to think that much about something, that's my surefire sign that I shouldn't buy it.

 

Now, dating isn't clothes-shopping, but I think you get what I'm saying. If you were happy with the situation, you wouldn't be agonizing over it and hoping that something would push you one way or the other.

 

Of course, only you know what you want, but based on your post it sounds like chemistry is something you really want. And of course I could be way off here, but I get the sense that you want to leave but keep talking yourself out of it by thinking about the different ways in which you're compatible with her. I guess my only other advice would just be to remember that there's no "should" or "shouldn't" here. You just have to decide what you want and do it.

[mightycpa]

She adores you and you're all MEH. Do her a favor and cut her loose. I would counsel FWB if she felt the way you do, but she adores you? It's not fair to her, especially if you're being really sweet and nice and and loving before you have sex with her. No doubt you're fairly tender afterwards too, right?

 

She's probably getting a different vibe than what you describe.

[katinlc]

I second letting her so before it goes any further and she really gets hurt. More than likely, she thinks things are going great and the longer you wait trying to develop those feeling, the more hurt she will get.