is this guy even worth pursuing? long distance

[madelinex]

I knew this guy 2 years ago but we never was attracted to one another. He moved away to a country halfway across the world from me last year because of a new job. Recently around 3 months ago, we started talking on facebook. We just casually talked and then it turned into talking everyday. We live in different time zones so we talk once a day when hes at work and its nighttime where i live. We both started developing feelings for one another and one thing led to another, we both confessed that we like each other. He decided to leave his job at the other country and move back to the states for good at september. I really like him alot but we fight constantly due to the distance. Communication is a problem since we live in different timezones. I sometimes feel really neglected, I feel like its always me putting in the work to contact him. He can surely call me but he doesnt so I bought a phone card to call him instead. I feel like i put in 70 percent and he only puts in 30 percent of the effort. I voiced out my feelings to him many times and it seems to get a little better but it ends up going back to square one. Today he called me and said i was the best girlfriend anyone can have. umm we never established anything, so i asked him are we bf and gf and he said yes. I feel like we have potential to grow as a couple when hes back but right now i feel like giving up because to me it doesnt seem like hes putting in alot of effort. I feel like communication is the only thing we have right now because we cant have the physical contact that we crave due to the distance but he only contacts me when its convenient for him; when hes at work sitting in front of a computer. Is this guy even worth pursuing?

[Assasda]

Seems like youre in a big rush really fast.

Slow down until you actually get to meet him.

 

The guy sounds totally normal, the thing is you are the one going 100mph.

Be patient and live your life without him.

 

He proabably knows how fickle you are, because you didnt like him before, so settle down

[Poppygoodwill]

Truth is, you won't really know anything about your relationship until you are living in the same time zone and can see one another regularly without stress and pressure.

 

If you're feeling that he's not as into it as you are, and that you are putting more effort into things, then I would change what I do to try to feel more in balance. For instance, don't organize your day around a phone call from him; go about your life and if you get to talk, great, and if not, then try to just be where you are and focus on your own life. You've got to put things more in balance to feel comfortable.

 

But don't dump him right now. You've been doing this for a long time and in a month or so, he'll be where you are. HOld on and see where that takes you.

[Omei]

I was in a LDR for many years and the feelings you are having are normal esp for those in their first ldr, I will tell you right now if you keep fighting about time and the distance its never going to work out in fact you might destroy it.

 

You need to learn to accept distance and limited time in speaking with your partner if you cannot accept that this is how a long distance relationship is going to be until you close the gap permanently it just wont work both party's have to accept and make the best out of what they have together till they can be together.

 

If you feel like you are the only once ever reaching out as often as you can then that may be true my ldr failed because I put in 80% while he did 20% and I sat around waiting for him, nagging him, and trying to convince him to do trips all the time, mostly my dime, if you find that you're doing most of the effort then NO its not worth the hardships you will have to endure in a LDR.

 

Ps most people in long distance relationships download Skype and spend date night watching a movie simultaneously or playing chess or online games, cam sex, sleeping together who knows every ldr routine is different but if you two are only speaking and that's all that's not enough to maintain it.

Edited July 26, 2014 by Omei

[d0nnivain]

It's the end of July & he's moving back in September. Really . . . that's barely 2 months. So yes, I think it's worth pursuing but given how short of time you have remaining apart, stop fighting.