mustangboss Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 About 6 years ago I met a girl after messaging her online and merely asking if she liked Michael Buble...and thats how everything started. From there we agreed to meet, but she refused to come inside my apartment after our first meeting, which was classy and proper, but she ended it with a hug. We continued to see each other for the next several months and the most we did was kiss, cuddle, and hug. I was more than fine with that because every time we met I felt all nervous inside, the good kind. Just an FYI, I am 28 now, she is 25 now. Then...an historic flood happened in my hometown that left my parents house underwater, the home I grew up in, so I went home. During this, she sent me a text saying " I miss you, I want you, I need you". She was going through some emotional issues and was looking for someone to be there for her and I couldnt be that guy, and although we werent dating, she decided to find someone else. I found out about this after I got back and it hurt me greatly because of everything that had happened, it just compounded things. Although I tried to get her back, my attempts failed. She soon found someone she was with for several years and they married last year, however, they divorced several months ago..... While they were still married I reached out to him and tried to talk to him online (dont know what I was thinking) and she said to never try to do that again. In fact the entire time I tried to be just friends with her, she shot down my advances. A few weeks ago... I reached out to her, and she talked to me for a few minutes, I have messaged her back since but she hasnt said anything back. I really want to give this the best shot at working, she is a bit difficult just like myself. Please dont criticize, but be blunt with your advice. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 lol you said dont criticize but be blunt. That sounds as crazy as your entire "love story here" You are obsessed with her in an unhealthy way man. Please give it up, and move on. Leave that poor girl alone. Its obvious she wants nothing to do with you. I was cringing while reading that you tried to talk to her husband online. How do you think she must've felt. You might want to get some help for your probs too... seriously Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I have messaged her back since but she hasnt said anything back. She is either not interested or not ready. It seems to me like she used you as an emotional crutch when she was feeling lonely while she was waiting to find someone else. I would move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mustangboss Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 Thank you for the reply. I have already moved on. I am just not wanting to regret doing nothing. So I am trying to act on this opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 you hav etried to reach out if anything were to happen it must be her doing now.....i am sorry it didnt work out......dont have regrets you gave it your best shot you tried and thats all you could have done....if you reach out and they dont accept there is nothing else to be done by you..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Thank you for the reply. I have already moved on. I am just not wanting to regret doing nothing. So I am trying to act on this opportunity. mustang, Every opportunity, second, third chances, revival of acquaintances, romantic gestures of romance are ONLY if and when the person(s) of interest reciprocates. No matter how much one person does, if the other doesn't reciprocate....it's wasted time. As long as she does not reciprocate then it's only a matter of how much time you are willing to waste for a fantasy/dream. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Move on. It's been years. This woman KNOWS you are interested. She is not. Don't waste even more years wasting time on someone who is not interested. Find a woman who wants you as much as you want her. If you can't do that it's probably time for you to see a counselor. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I agree with the most important point sent forth by soccerrprp. The other person must reciprocate. Anything else becomes fantasy and blocks you from moving on in a complete and total way. If I can relate it to an experience of mine. My ex-fiancee and I split a week before our wedding. I was devastated and even more than a year now my mind goes back to her once in a while. She complete shut me off and I've never tried to contact her or go back. But I know the trauma of it and the lack of closure that will always be with me has affected me. Fast forward to now and I just started seeing someone - we met very quickly - who i think I could get serious with and I worry that while I'm not clinging onto the past, that the past wounds I've suffered (not that I haven't caused others wounds myself) will not let me give 100%. In your case, as everyone suggests - you have to let it go. Every time you find yourself thinking about her, think of something else. You need to re-condition your brain to stop it. You apparently have given her enough chances. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 ...I worry that while I'm not clinging onto the past, that the past wounds I've suffered (not that I haven't caused others wounds myself) will not let me give 100%... I respect YOUR honesty in this. Too many people cannot even begin to admit that they will not be able to give themselves fully, often hurting the poor soul who IS ready and willing. In your case, as everyone suggests - you have to let it go.. Amen x10! Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 You contacted her husband? To tell him what? "wtf" is what came right to my mind. I mean I hate to say it, but that's creepy. I don't think you have any shot at all at that point. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 She soon found someone she was with for several years and they married last year, however, they divorced several months ago..... While they were still married I reached out to him and tried to talk to him online (dont know what I was thinking) and she said to never try to do that again. In fact the entire time I tried to be just friends with her, she shot down my advances. Holy schmoly, I missed this part! What the heck!? I hope your communication had nothing to do with her breaking up. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 When someone leaves you and move on, you leave them and stop harrassing them, even if in your heart you still love them, you must leave them and accept that destiny ... You can't force love, just have to move on too. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 What do you need advice on? Are you wondering if you should pursue her or not? Is she divorced? What makes you think this time will be different? Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Sounds like you are just Chasing a Feeling. This is a woman you weren't even in a relationship with whom you obviously did not know very well. Let the feeling go. Its not her you want, its the feeling. Onwards and upwards Link to post Share on other sites
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