Rexxy Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 So those that have been helping me with this girl that I started dating I have a bit of information to share. So we went on three dates over 3 weeks, had good chemistry, good physical attraction etc. But then I was starting to think something was up when suddenly after a week went by after our 3rd date she started to take 6+ hours to respond to messages and have her say that she was busy on weekend but always going into full detail about what she was doing so I wasn't too worried about missing just one weekend before the next. So I asked during the week if she wanted to go out on friday and said that she already had plans (going into full detail about it) and this is how it went after that message: Me: Ok then just let me know when your free Her: Look I'm going to be honest with you because I feel you deserve the truth... I'm not saying this would or wouldn't be serious but I guess it's headed that way and I've been in a relationship the past 5 years so I'm really not ready for anything serious right now Me: I understand. Thanks for telling me now than leading me on for longer. It was nice getting to know you even though you didn't get to see me really open up. I appreciate it Tegan and I can understand you need time to recover and maybe in the future we can talk again Her: Thanks for being so understanding and it really was good to get to know you, I don't deserve your kindness xx I really do understand things like this and feel much better that she let me know. This was the first girl I ever took on a date, what do you think about this? Is it an excuse for not been interested or do girls really feel that way after been in a relationship. I'm not trying to get her back but I'm very curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 What do I think? You definitely have room for improvement. You lucked out in that she decided to be upfront about it. But obviously, she didn't agree with your assessment of "good chemistry". But then I was starting to think something was up when suddenly after a week went by after our 3rd date she started to take 6+ hours to respond to messages and have her say that she was busy on weekend but always going into full detail about what she was doing so I wasn't too worried about missing just one weekend before the next. A woman who is interested in you will counter-offer if she REALLY is busy. I'm sure she didn't. So I asked during the week if she wanted to go out on friday and said that she already had plans (going into full detail about it) and this is how it went after that message: You get points for persistence. Me: Ok then just let me know when your free Don't ever say this. You are basically just shifting all of the power of decision to her. Her: Look I'm going to be honest with you because I feel you deserve the truth... I'm not saying this would or wouldn't be serious but I guess it's headed that way and I've been in a relationship the past 5 years so I'm really not ready for anything serious right now She is trying to let you down easily. Obviously, if she REALLY felt good chemistry with you, she wouldn't be saying anything about a past relationship. It's BS. She went on a first date with you for a reason. Either you were laying it on too thick or she didn't feel a connection... but she's trying to let you down easily either way. Me: I understand. Thanks for telling me now than leading me on for longer. It was nice getting to know you even though you didn't get to see me really open up. I appreciate it Tegan and I can understand you need time to recover and maybe in the future we can talk again Her: Thanks for being so understanding and it really was good to get to know you, I don't deserve your kindness xx Again, she's just trying to smoothen the rejection for you. Don't expect to hear from her again, don't text her again either. Just learn and move on. It's not that she isn't ready for a relationship... she isn't ready for one with YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Generally when someone says they aren't ready for something, it means they aren't ready for something serious with you. It's a polite, gentle let-down... "it's not you, it's me". She genuinely likes you, doesn't want to hurt you, but doesn't want a relationship with you. Time to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 Yeah I'm full of sh*t as well to be honest. I only liked the idea of having a relationship with her, and really enjoyed the physical side of things. But I knew that we didn't really get a long that well but I wanted to believe that we did. After she told me that I honestly felt free like something was lifted off my shoulders. Why in the world did I convince myself to keep trying to go with it when I knew it wasn't going to work from the start........... ARghhhh I'm dissapointed in myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Why in the world did I convince myself to keep trying to go with it when I knew it wasn't going to work from the start........... ARghhhh I'm dissapointed in myself. With each of these experience, good or bad, we learn about ourselves. I have done this several times and then when it's over I think 'omg what was I thinking about'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Yeah I'm full of sh*t as well to be honest. I only liked the idea of having a relationship with her, and really enjoyed the physical side of things. But I knew that we didn't really get a long that well but I wanted to believe that we did. After she told me that I honestly felt free like something was lifted off my shoulders. Why in the world did I convince myself to keep trying to go with it when I knew it wasn't going to work from the start........... ARghhhh I'm dissapointed in myself. I've been telling you to see other people. hahaha You just wanted to sniff around until you got told off, huh? hahaha, Its alright you live and you learn Back to what I initially said, see other people Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 With each of these experience, good or bad, we learn about ourselves. I have done this several times and then when it's over I think 'omg what was I thinking about'. Exactly what I'm thinking right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 I've been telling you to see other people. hahaha You just wanted to sniff around until you got told off, huh? hahaha, Its alright you live and you learn Back to what I initially said, see other people hahaha I was literally waiting to be told off to be honest. Yeah after she sent that I got messages from 2 others girls wondering what I've been up to. So I'm sure you'll see some new threads from me soon enough Link to post Share on other sites
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