Did I do anything wrong? I miss our friendship

[HangOnThere]

I used to have a strong friendship with a girl that used to really enjoy my company. She used to say I was very special to her, always make her smile, and we would always talk and laugh. It was amazing, the friendship was so strong and we actually met on vacation, but she is only 17. I however am 18.

 

She lives 2 hours away, and we built a great friendship, but I wanted to meet her. We would talk for hours via video chat and I absolutely loved it, so did she. We were both alike but she could be a little immature at times, probably because she is younger and not used to this experience. I was always there for her, making her smile, we would talk all the time.

 

We communicated for months on end, however disaster occurred.

 

Back at Christmas, we discussed about meeting up. She was quite scared, so I tried to wait for longer and comfort her. Two months later I said we wants to meet in the summer because of exams in education. I was kind of pushy with her, as I week later, I asked again but in a soft way, whether she would prefer to meet sooner rather than later. She got a bit scared, said she needs to ask her parents, and then started backing away a bit.

Suddenly a week later, she said bluntly to end it as she couldn't make it serious and therefore not turn it into a relationship due to distance, but wants to be friends. I feel like I may have pressured her into it but I was just trying to go forward. It feels odd, because I don't get to see her face to face, and the friendship was great. It was becoming too serious, too soon, I know that, but all I wanted to do was meet up one day, I wasn't asking for anything serious. I boosted her confidence, made her feel special and would never fail to smile.

 

Two months later, I message her in a friendly way, asking how she is, she ignored me both times. One of the times, it was a long message explaining that I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway, I said she hurt me, and I spent a long time doing this message. She still ignores me!

The issue was that she wasn't sure what she wanted. Also, she would message me every day for months, speak for hours, and she would always smile and say goodnight. I'll admit, I started to become interested in her because she appeared to, but there seems to be confusion.

 

3 months on. She appears to be a nice girl but is quite immature. But I tried to bring her on, put effort in to see her, and she was saying 'let me think about it,' then months later said she can't do it. I was gutted because we have a sudden silence between us and all I wanted was to meet up, because we were such good friends! Furthermore, she would give me compliments now and then. I know we are young. I just want our friendship back without her hurting me, because her ignoring me is hurting me. I just don't understand why there's silence from her side.

 

I thought she was attracted to me so therefore I tried to go forward, but I don't know what happened between us. I will move on if need be but I don't understand why she should ignore me if she said she still wants to be friends. I'm confused by her actions.

I don't want to sound needy but all I would like is to heal our amazing friendship we had. I have friends around the corner but I really enjoyed talking to her!

 

I was thinking of sending a letter to her in a friendly way but is probably a bit too much, isn't it? I was wondering if she would react to the letter in a positive way and think 'wow, my old best friend sent me a letter! He must care about our friendship.'

 

I'm not sure why she is ignoring my friendly message, is she scared, intimidated etc? Of course, we can move on, but I just loved talking to her! I don't care if she has met somebody close by, I just want to talk to her now and then.

 

- So, is she being selfish and immature?

- Is a letter a good idea?

- What do you think is going through her head?

 

Thanks for your time!