melell Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) Someone much older says 'when is your 21st birthday', when they know you are older than that, but they are trying to flatter you. Fast forward two days, someone asks age, I ask what they think, another person pipes in saying 'just flatter her'. I am 26, and did not realize that I was old enough for someone to use lesser age comments as a form of flattery. Opinions? Edited May 9, 2014 by melell 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 Just my opinion, I think you may be over thinking it. He's trying to give you a little compliment saying that you look younger than your actual age. Yeah, both had the best of intentions. It just seems strange to me, I hadn't yet ever thought of wanting to look younger :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 1. The person much older than you was just trying to prove how much older than you they were, and just saying that you look young. 2. The second person that said "Just flatter her" thought that you were fishing for a compliment when you asked "What do you think" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Someone much older says 'when is your 21st birthday', when they know you are older than that, but they are trying to flatter you. Fast forward two days, someone asks age, I ask what they think, another person pipes in saying 'just flatter her'. I am 26, and did not realize that I was old enough for someone to use lesser age comments as a form of flattery. Opinions? Are you sure it's flattery? Maybe it's a snide way of saying you're acting childishly. Did you offend this much older person? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Opinions? You seem to attract attention since you relate two different accounts and interactions by/with different people on different days. Sounds like, absent more information, different people attempting to make small talk. Good thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 Are you sure it's flattery? Maybe it's a snide way of saying you're acting childishly. Did you offend this much older person? It was a client of mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 1. The person much older than you was just trying to prove how much older than you they were, and just saying that you look young. 2. The second person that said "Just flatter her" thought that you were fishing for a compliment when you asked "What do you think" I am 100% sure it was a compliment because of prior remarks both individuals had made over the last few weeks. I was wondering about the age part Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Eh, we're the same age and I *do* look kinda young, so I don't take offense to it. I just hope at 50 I look younger than my age ! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 It was a client of mine. Was or is? You didn't answer the question, Did you offend this much older person? I'm guessing you'll learn whether it was flattery or not at the next appointment or not. Wild guess.... Are you a hairdresser? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Melell, its a compliment. I get it sometimes buying beer from Waitrose. I hope it lasts. Is 10.20 good for a short back and sides, leave the quiff, just cut the ends off. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Opinions? You need to learn how to take a compliment. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Yes young lady. Revel in it. You need to learn how to take a compliment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 Haha, oh dear. Let me put it this way, I work with people in quite an intimate setting, and part of it involves them becoming very comfortable with me. The ethics involve a fine line. Both individuals have given me compliments before, I will admit I find it a bit creepy, but part of my job is keeping things cool, and I will (have) pulled them up on it before. One of them in the past had said something really inappropriate using the word 'ravage', and the incident was documented/mediated. It is not so much the compliment, but more so the age thing, I mean I really didn't realise I was old enough to be flattered by 'young' comments. But yeah, it is really difficult as a fairly young female working with older, less than stable people... am still trying to feel out how to approach it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 Was or is? You didn't answer the question, Did you offend this much older person? I'm guessing you'll learn whether it was flattery or not at the next appointment or not. Wild guess.... Are you a hairdresser? I am a clinician in a residential setting, they spend 12 weeks living in this place, and see me everyday inside the setting-which is their home for that time. They would not hesitate in making it known if I had caused offence. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 It is not so much the compliment, but more so the age thing, I mean I really didn't realise I was old enough to be flattered by 'young' comments. But yeah, it is really difficult as a fairly young female working with older, less than stable people... am still trying to feel out how to approach it. The ravage thing is something else. The age compliment is always around (though I agree that it tends to be less of a thing when it's a less old-school crowd, it's not how we talk in the office). I think a lot of men assume that women want to look young forever. To be fair, they aren't wrong in some ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 No clippers then? `Good weekend sir?` Seriously i guess compliments are not going with the job territory? Maybe enjoy the compliment but remain steely and gimlet eyed? Was in Dyke road last week, lots of compliments, sadly not one from a woman as there appeared to be none around. Take care. I am a clinician in a residential setting, they spend 12 weeks living in this place, and see me everyday inside the setting-which is their home for that time. They would not hesitate in making it known if I had caused offence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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