lotsofcofffee Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 I am a 20 year old man dating an 18 year old woman. She was not born in the United States, therefor she was held back in school upon coming here. She should have been class of 2014 but is 2015 now. I was class of 2012. so i find myself turning 21 in June which will make us 21 (me) and 18.5 (her)..but starting her senior year of hs. Is this wrong? and why or why not? This eating at me, i need advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Hitman_47 Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 It's fine.. as long as you aren't trying to take advantage of her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 It's odd but not illegal. You are at different life stages which causes more problems then age differences alone. What are you going to do when she wants to go to the prom? Also as soon as you are 21, you are going to want to go to bars. When she can't go, that's when the trouble will start. When starts college & wants to explore all that world has to offer, she may no longer have time for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 No bars until 21? In the UK we can frequent when 18. (I did much earlier,shssh) But OP, that is a very small age gap. I am not sure what the problem is here? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 No bars until 21? In the UK we can frequent when 18. (I did much earlier,shssh) But OP, that is a very small age gap. I am not sure what the problem is here? UK & US have very different laws re: alcohol. When one person can go to bars & the other can't it causes HUGE problems & jealousy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lotsofcofffee Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 (edited) She doesn't care for school dances. in my part of the united states i can go to the bar but cannot drink alcohol and must leave before 10pm. I get such mixed responses from my friends and family and the issue from its completely innapropriate to why are you even worried its fine? We do.get a funny look now and then because she is 5foot and I'm 6'1 and i look 24-25. But honestly i'm still a kid at heart and i am not using her at all. she was treated more like an object than a person in her past by guys and I'm being real with her, took her on a fancy extravogent date which was the first time anyone had ever taken her on a date ever. where we come from shes pretty old to not have been on a real date. (Midwest US) i also see it as, shes old enough that she could be a porn star and sleep with 30+ yr old men on camera or be a stripper if she wanted.. but if i want a romantic relationship people are frowning upon it Edited April 28, 2014 by lotsofcofffee Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 I get that but 15,16,17 we just lied to get into pubs. Often the unsuspecting publican would to busy to notice our fresh faceded-ness and his bar staff were all too stressed to notice how one intoxicating beverage turned us into beer monsters. But seriously i cannot believe it is any different in the the states. I have been to NY many times and i surely could count the underage drinkers. Its everywhere. On topic though i think the OP could make this work if he was not so bothered about tiny age gap. There is more to RS than bars, surely? UK & US have very different laws re: alcohol. When one person can go to bars & the other can't it causes HUGE problems & jealousy. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 If you like her and think you can make ago of it, others should support you or not venture an opinion. She doesn't care for school dances. in my part of the united states i can go to the bar but cannot drink alcohol and must leave before 10pm. I get such mixed responses from my friends and family and the issue from its completely innapropriate to why are you even worried its fine? We do.get a funny look now and then because she is 5foot and I'm 6'1 and i look 24-25. But honestly i'm still a kid at heart and i am not using her at all. she was treated more like an object than a person in her past by guys and I'm being real with her, took her on a fancy extravogent date which was the first time anyone had ever taken her on a date ever. where we come from shes pretty old to not have been on a real date. (Midwest US) i also see it as, shes old enough that she could be a porn star and sleep with 30+ yr old men on camera or be a stripper if she wanted.. but if i want a romantic relationship people are frowning upon it Link to post Share on other sites
inaknot Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 I am a 20 year old man dating an 18 year old woman. She was not born in the United States, therefor she was held back in school upon coming here. She should have been class of 2014 but is 2015 now. I was class of 2012. so i find myself turning 21 in June which will make us 21 (me) and 18.5 (her)..but starting her senior year of hs. Is this wrong? and why or why not? This eating at me, i need advice. All you need to know is that other people's opinions are none of your business and vice versa. Everyone has their script, this is simple choose you, not the script in your head. Ask yourself one really simple question, what would I choose? If you'd choose to date her then do it because that's you. We're all held back because of the negative script/backtalk in our minds and the scripts from other people. Other people's opinions are none of your business, so you don't need to concern yourself with them Do what you'd choose not what your script would choose or anyone else's Hope that helps Link to post Share on other sites
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