Atypical scenario, what next

[avoforastig]

I sent a wink to a woman on Match. She then sent me a message stating some things we had in common and instructed me to call her as she not a fan on the online thing. I replied back by giving her my number. Later in the day, she sent me a text and thanked me for reciprocating the number exchange. She also asked how my day was going. I said something generic like it was good and I was just finishing up at work. I also asked "how about you" in return but she never responded back. It's now late in the evening. She initiated contact but did not reply. It all seems a bit strange. I thought about just giving her a call after 24 hours if there is still no reply, per her original request? Is this a solid strategy?

[TXGuy]

I sent a wink to a woman on Match. She then sent me a message stating some things we had in common and instructed me to call her as she not a fan on the online thing. I replied back by giving her my number. Later in the day, she sent me a text and thanked me for reciprocating the number exchange. She also asked how my day was going. I said something generic like it was good and I was just finishing up at work. I also asked "how about you" in return but she never responded back. It's now late in the evening. She initiated contact but did not reply. It all seems a bit strange. I thought about just giving her a call after 24 hours if there is still no reply, per her original request? Is this a solid strategy?

 

If it is before 9pm your time, call her now. The ball is in your court, not hers.

[avoforastig]

If it is before 9pm your time, call her now. The ball is in your court, not hers.

 

How do you gather? I responded to her text question. Unfortunately, it's after 9, it was around 6 when I responded back. Is it best just to try to call tomorrow? Aargh!

[MixedUpChick]

I sent a wink to a woman on Match. She then sent me a message stating some things we had in common and instructed me to call her as she not a fan on the online thing.

 

The ball is in your court, not hers.

 

How do you gather?

 

I don't see in your original post that you ever called her, as she originally requested. So... call her & have a conversation to starting getting to know each other - then if that goes well, invite her out for coffee/drinks/etc. But she's probably still wondering if you're going to call her like she asked.

[JackieChiles]

How do you gather? I responded to her text question. Unfortunately, it's after 9, it was around 6 when I responded back. Is it best just to try to call tomorrow? Aargh!

 

I don't think a call is necessary. I am not a believer in calling as opposed to texting, though. I think you wait. If she texts you in the morning, then great! If she doesn't, send her a text mid day. If she responds, she responds. If she doesn't, she doesn't.

 

I don't think it's worth the stress considering there isn't much to your interaction. You winked. She said hi. You said hi. Maybe it goes somewhere maybe it doesn't.

[MixedUpChick]

I don't think a call is necessary. I am not a believer in calling as opposed to texting, though. I think you wait. If she texts you in the morning, then great! If she doesn't, send her a text mid day. If she responds, she responds. If she doesn't, she doesn't.

 

It may not be necessary, but if I specifically ask a man to call me & he doesn't call me, I'm going to assume he's really not that interested. Some people prefer a phone call while others are fine with texting, but since she asked him to call her, it sounds like she wants a phone call & probably just sent a text to make sure he had her number - so he could call her like she asked.

[Teddius]

"I sent a wink to a woman on Match. She then sent me a message stating some things we had in common and instructed me to call her as she not a fan on the online thing".

 

Friend, is that not a hint indicating that she prefers to communicate with you by speaking to you? Call her.

[avoforastig]

It may not be necessary, but if I specifically ask a man to call me & he doesn't call me, I'm going to assume he's really not that interested. Some people prefer a phone call while others are fine with texting, but since she asked him to call her, it sounds like she wants a phone call & probably just sent a text to make sure he had her number - so he could call her like she asked.

 

MixedUp, so you would not perceive this as needy/desperate if I call her tomorrow after the no response to my text? I never said a specific day or time I would call her. The only reason I don't call more is the horrid phone tag between two professionals. I'm also not sure what to talk about on the phone without having met her ever.

[MixedUpChick]

MixedUp, so you would not perceive this as needy/desperate if I call her tomorrow after the no response to my text? I never said a specific day or time I would call her. The only reason I don't call more is the horrid phone tag between two professionals. I'm also not sure what to talk about on the phone without having met her ever.

 

I think it's funny when I hear people say they don't know what to talk about on the phone. Just call & spend a couple minutes chatting, & then based on how that goes, you set up a coffee/drinks date. (I've heard stories from one guy who spends forever on the phone during a first call - I wouldn't do that!) Just take a few minutes, introduce yourself, it basically gives you both a feel for whether you want to continue getting to know each other.

 

And no, I wouldn't think you were needy/desperate if you call tomorrow. I'd probably think "OMG it's about time!"

[TXGuy]

"I sent a wink to a woman on Match. She then sent me a message stating some things we had in common and instructed me to call her as she not a fan on the online thing".

 

Friend, is that not a hint indicating that she prefers to communicate with you by speaking to you? Call her.

 

Yes. And I'm in the minority of people on LS who think the woman has some responsibility to show interest early on (many people think the opposite). Even I think she has done more than her share of chasing.

 

I'm don't know if you are accustomed to women doing more work than this, but if not, this a lot more effort than you can generally expect from a woman in online dating. She made her interest clear. If she interests you, I think you need to respond promptly or she will move on.

[avoforastig]

I think it's funny when I hear people say they don't know what to talk about on the phone. Just call & spend a couple minutes chatting, & then based on how that goes, you set up a coffee/drinks date. (I've heard stories from one guy who spends forever on the phone during a first call - I wouldn't do that!) Just take a few minutes, introduce yourself, it basically gives you both a feel for whether you want to continue getting to know each other.

 

And no, I wouldn't think you were needy/desperate if you call tomorrow. I'd probably think "OMG it's about time!"

 

I was very appreciative she took the initiative in reaching out to me, I was just a bit confused by her sending me a text. I'll be sure to call her tomorrow evening with a date idea in mind.

[avoforastig]

Yes. And I'm in the minority of people on LS who think the woman has some responsibility to show interest early on (many people think the opposite). Even I think she has done more than her share of chasing.

 

I'm don't know if you are accustomed to women doing more work than this, but if not, this a lot more effort than you can generally expect from a woman in online dating. She made her interest clear. If she interests you, I think you need to respond promptly or she will move on.

 

I'll call as soon as I get out of work, people just confuse the crap out of me with all the different forms of communication. Hopefully it will go well.

[MixedUpChick]

I was very appreciative she took the initiative in reaching out to me, I was just a bit confused by her sending me a text. I'll be sure to call her tomorrow evening with a date idea in mind.

 

Good luck!

[Kingston100]

Okay... let me break this down as I read it.

 

I sent a wink to a woman on Match.

 

You initiated contact

 

She then sent me a message stating some things we had in common and instructed me to call her as she not a fan on the online thing.

 

She wrote back, indicating she was interested and asking you to call her. (I assume she gave you her phone number here, but you don't mention that)

 

I replied back by giving her my number.

 

Instead of calling her, you wrote her back and gave her your number instead

 

Later in the day, she sent me a text and thanked me for reciprocating the number exchange. She also asked how my day was going.

 

She shows you again that she is interested, and probably wanted to make sure you had her number in your phone now

 

I also asked "how about you" in return but she never responded back. It's now late in the evening. She initiated contact but did not reply. It all seems a bit strange. I thought about just giving her a call after 24 hours if there is still no reply, per her original request? Is this a solid strategy?

 

She probably didn't write back because she became busy with dinner plans or some other obligation. She has clearly shown an interest, but it seems pretty obvious she is waiting for a phone call FROM you. She keeps hinting around for it.

 

Call her. Look up her profile and find out what you have in common in case you get stuck with an awkward pause.

 

If things get REALLY awkward, tell her you are going into a tunnel and hang up.

[milanlover]

Sometimes I read posts like this and cant believe you overthink or become anxious over some strangers like this? And it was just one woman? I tried online dating before and a few messages an hour was normal for me, sometimes I even just signed up, didn't pay and left all the winks and messages there lol Or left it for a day just to see all the notifications when I got back on lol So I never took it seriously. Or especially Tinder and other dating apps. Lots of random guys, I might give numbers just cuz I was bored, replied here and there and left it. Or I messaged back and forth on the dating site, very long messages just cuz of the conversation itself, not because of the person, then just out of the blue, I stopped cuz I didn't even find the guys attractive in the beginning and there were plenty of other guys waiting to talk to me. I know it sounds bad and I might sound cocky, but hmm, it's just how it is, online dating, to me its like shopping, so i can never take it seriously.

 

Bottom line, sometimes the reason is very very random! So don't overanalyze it! Just let it go!

[Phantom888]

Sounds like you are new to this online dating. I was on Match on and off for 3 years, so I can tell you this is NOT unusual. Women online get bombarded by hundreds of "winks" a month. If she is remotely attractive, she might be too busy to respond to you. You are likely to be one our of 100 men that she has winked that month. That's the way it goes. If she finds someone more appealing, she will probably go silent on you. Some women are polite enough to tell you that she has met someone else. That's perfectly great. Others would just ignore you because she is too wrapped up in the new man, who may be someone she winked moments after YOU!

 

Men do similarly online, but the dynamics are different. I believe in online dating etiquette, so I would never go silent on someone. But it happens far too frequently. My fiancee and I met on Match, and she has told me all sorts of stories. Trust me, an attractive woman has at least 5-6 people she is talking to at any given time.