ruby77 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 So I had a date on Thursday with someone who had been interested in me for a while, he is in the same social group. I like him too and on the surface we have a lot in common but the date felt a little strained. Conversation didn't flow easily and there were a couple of awkward quiet moments. Does this mean we're not compatible? Or does this come with time? I haven't had many dates, so help! Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfire73 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Did he text you after the date and said he had a good time? If i'm on the fence with date 1, i give it another chance. I usually give it 3 dates to know for sure. Obviously, if there wasn't any chemistry at all on date 1, I would move on to the next. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ruby77 Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 He has yes and wants to meet again on Friday. We are ok when out in group situations but one on one wasn't so good. I want it to work so I guess we'll see how Friday goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfire73 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 (edited) Yes, if there's another date set, I would go. See if there's any spark or chemistry this time. Compatibility would take a long time to find out, but there should at least be an initial spark. If he gets in touch with you through phone calls or texts, then that would build up into your next date. And remember to just have fun, so no matter what the outcome is, it won't be a waste of time. Edited April 21, 2014 by Sunfire73 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Does this mean we're not compatible? Or does this come with time? Depends on your style. And his. If your style is 'fireworks' on first meeting and if anything else has never worked in the past, I'd call this done and move on, presuming those fireworks beginnings have consistently resulted in healthy relationships. I haven't had many dates, so help! If you haven't had many dates, and don't have much relationship history to draw upon, IMO experiment. IOW, date this man a bit and meet and greet other men concurrently and try different things and see how you feel to better target your own attraction style. Tip: In this environment, focus on the dating experience without expectations. Live in the moment. If there are some 'strained' moments, there are. No human interaction is perfect. Go with the flow and act on your overall feeling. If, at the end of the date, you'd like there to be another one, that. If not, that. Either result is healthy and appropriate. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Give him another shot. Nerves can be hard to battle with when excited. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 So I had a date on Thursday with someone who had been interested in me for a while, he is in the same social group. I like him too and on the surface we have a lot in common but the date felt a little strained. Conversation didn't flow easily and there were a couple of awkward quiet moments. Does this mean we're not compatible? Or does this come with time? I haven't had many dates, so help! Well then you could use the practice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ruby77 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Ok thanks for the advice everyone, I'm glad to hear that the first date might not be a representation of future dates. I'll let you know how Friday goes. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Go for the next date! I've had first dates where everything flowed great and there wasn't a second. I've had the reverse. It could be nerves, either of us just not feeling well, or who knows! But I'm always up for giving somebody the benefit of the doubt for a second, or even a third, date. Just have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 One of the most awkward 1st dates I have ever had was with the man who is now my husband. People are nervous on 1st dates. Unless there were major red flags, give the person a 2nd chance so you can both relax. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ruby77 Posted April 26, 2014 Author Share Posted April 26, 2014 It was better this time, I'm going to stick with it Thanks for the advice everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
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