BikerAccnt Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Ok, here's the situation. I've been dating this woman about 2 mos. now. Thought he exclusivity talk hasn't come up, its' pretty clear we are, though we only manage to see each other 1-2 times a week tops. Anywho, I have a standing invitation tomorrow to meet the family for Easter dinner if I want to go. I'm straddling here. I haven't even met her kids yet (19 and 26) and only briefly met her mother. If this was a small gathering I'd have no issues, however, she says there will be about 20 people there! It's a large family, and in addition to her and her kids will be her 5 brothers and sisters, their kids, mom, dad, etc. I'm not sure I'm ready/willing to meet the entire brood all at once! I do see this relationship blossoming into more, but, that's a lot at one shot. She says she's not upset either way I go. She realizes we've only been seeing each other 2 months. I'm not shy, and I don't mind meeting them all. I'm just not sure if at 2 months, it's the right thing to do. Additionally, there are some emergency health issues with her new grandchild going on that are effecting famly dynamics and I don't want to get stuck in the middle of any such discussions that may break out. You'd think at 53 I'd be over these type of issues. The more things change... Thanks for any input Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Personally I would decline. Like you said it's a lot to take all at the same time and you've just been dating 2 months. Personally I don't see any rush in meeting the family under 3 months dating. The wise thing to do would be to meet her kids first, then I am sure this summer you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet the rest of them over family BBQs. My ex had invited me to a friends gathering after 1 month dating. We were 4 couples, and it ended up too much for me (and I am very sociable). I did not know my boyfriend enough to participate to the group conversations, I did not get the inside jokes, we stayed there from 4 pm to 11 pm. I got out of there with major headache. Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I've never been in this situation, I'm sure it is scary. In the end if it were me I'd consider the alternative - not going. If I had any idea or desire of a lasting thing I wouldn't want to not go, and be that guy. That won't look good. I'd have to suck it up and tell myself in for a penny, in for a pound. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 It would probably mean a lot to her if you went. I would suggest going to it. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I think a larger group would be easier. With a larger group, the conversations will be less invasive and probing because there will be so much flitting about between different people. I would rather go to something like this then a more intimate meeting where the intent of the relationship could be probed more deeply. With this many people, it is easier to be aloof and just get a cursory sense of the family by being congenial and pleasant. I would go, but I'm pretty adventurous when it comes to hanging out with strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Thought he exclusivity talk hasn't come up, its' pretty clear we are, Huh? 10char Link to post Share on other sites
Author BikerAccnt Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 It's called a typo Keenly Though the.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BikerAccnt Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 I think a larger group would be easier. With a larger group, the conversations will be less invasive and probing because there will be so much flitting about between different people. This I do agree with. And is one of the reasons I'd be willing to go. Unfortunately as I also alluded to there are some "interesting" family dynamics going on because of a premature infant (my dates new grandsonr) in the hospital. Some, arguments between mother and son. I'm not entirely sure Easter dinner is going to be a stress free event even if I'm not there. That's actually my concern. I don't want to be pulled into sensitive family issues too soon and feel really out of place if they start talking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Bite the bullet...have fun.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Unfortunately as I also alluded to there are some "interesting" family dynamics going on because of a premature infant (my dates new grandsonr) in the hospital. Some, arguments between mother and son. I'm not entirely sure Easter dinner is going to be a stress free event even if I'm not there. Well, with this info I have a feeling that with the existence of a new person, everyone might be on their best behavior! Could be fun to watch - I'd go! Link to post Share on other sites
RonaldS Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Events like these are why God invented booze. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Carrie - you're braver than I am!!! hahaha I agree with your point that the family will be on their best behavior with a new man around. OP, perhaps you could just show up for dessert. IDK At 2 months in, I'd probably want to skip it altogether, though. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Biker...it happens to be Easter, her folks do something at Easter. It's just timing. If you had been together 3/4 months and an event such as this came around I suspect it would feel OK. You could always ditch her and only agree to begin dating someone 6 months prior to any family type event happening....get me? Really honestly, what have you got to lose by going? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 They have just been dating for 2 months, they don't know each other well. For all he knows this relationship may not last another month so he doesn't want to be the ass that broke up right after meeting her whole family. My boyfriend met my whole family for the first time during the Holidays, on January 4th he bailed. I was SO freakin embarrassed to tell my family that the great guy I had brought over the holidays had dumped me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BikerAccnt Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Well, I decided to go. She's happy enough about it . I figured, I do like her, and if things keep going as they are meeting the family is inevitable. Besides, my family doesn't really do much for Easter anymore. Those left in the are are all doing their own thing and I wasn't invited anywhere else. Why should I let myself out of a good meal right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 I'm proud of you! Link to post Share on other sites
pyramid Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Good choice. My bf of 3 mos isn't coming to family Easter with me, and while I understand his very valid reason (going to his sister's), I'm still a little disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Good choice. My bf of 3 mos isn't coming to family Easter with me, and while I understand his very valid reason (going to his sister's), I'm still a little disappointed. Smart BF.... Link to post Share on other sites
Potion9 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 I wouldn't go. It's only been two months..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BikerAccnt Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 Just an update. I went I had fun I conquered! oh...and I ate way too much. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. No inquisitions, and a few people seemed genuinely happy to meet me. (Other than her daughter who wasn't too thrilled). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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