Friend vibe comment

[dehahaha]

Hello,

I went on a 1st date with a girl I met online. She's in her late 20's (i'm in my early 30s) very polite, smart, Asian girl (i'm also Asian) who i believe comes from a wealthy family. She approached me first online and we hit it off nicely for about a week chatting and ended up having lunch and going for a really long walk. Everything seemed to go well and we laughed and had a great time. I didn't touch her at all though, not even greeting hugs, light hand holding and etc. She also mentioned that on her first date with another dude she met online, he kept touching her, trying to kiss her and etc, which i thought was a hint not to get physical too fast with her. We finished our walk and had coffee then i drove her home. It all seemed very good. I honestly think it was the best 1st date i've had with anyone as we seemed to understand each other and were on the same page on so many things.

 

After our date, she messaged me and we kept texting, i escalated a little bit in showing my interest, not too much though. Since she projects being very polite, sincere, and generally so freaking nice, i too have been very nice and open to her about what i think about her. Again, not too much. Then she says "but I do have to tell you, I get more of a friend vibe from you rather than bf." I said it's too early for me to tell and that i just get a good vibe from her and that we should chill a bit more still. She smiled and asked "no pressure right?" which i replied that it's cool, if it works out great if not, then it is what it is.

 

I'm not new to the dating scene, i've had several long term gfs so i feel weird asking this. But I'm new to the online scene and the "friend vibe" comment is the first for me, so i don't know what to think of this. Has she rejected me? Was she wanting more physical contact? Was i being too nice? Is this a hint telling me to be more physical and flirty on the 2nd date? My approach with women have been a more aggressive and fast pace, but this was the first date arising from online and she was just so nice that i wanted to treat her differently...

 

Anyway, your thoughts/recommendations would be much appreciated. I do not believe that it's over yet as we have made plans to go for dinner and drinks soon. I'm guessing she's going to decide her interest from the 2nd date. Although she's a very nice girl, i'm not interested in becoming friends with her. I am attracted to her physically, so i think it will just be too hard for me to be friends with her.

 

Thank you.

[TrueTo2]

That could be a sign but also could be just that she's not that into you. Honestly, for the 2nd date, be more aggressive. Go for the hand and possibly a good night kiss at the end. Gauge her level of interest based on how well she reacts to physical touch. Look out for the signs, if she tries to pull away when you touch her, don't go further.

 

Meeting someone online will always be awkward, you just have to get past that and realize she is just like any other girl you can meet in real life.

[SJC2008]

"but I do have to tell you, I get more of a friend vibe from you rather than bf."

 

Women do not say this to men they want to have sex with. NEXT!

[sagetalk]

She also mentioned that on her first date with another dude she met online, he kept touching her, trying to kiss her and etc, which i thought was a hint not to get physical too fast with her.

 

"but I do have to tell you, I get more of a friend vibe from you rather than bf."

 

I am attracted to her physically, so i think it will just be too hard for me to be friends with her.

 

Online girls move insanely fast, even faster than most serious men want to move. It's just the way it works, sadly. There are tons of idiot guys who will sleep with them on the first date before they know anything about the girl, so that is who you are competing against.

 

"Friend" is a cruel way of saying that she thinks you're boring and is not attracted to you sexually. If she's a looney that's a good thing, if she's awesome it's bad. It's too soon to tell so be careful.

 

My advice is make as much of a physical move as you are comfortable without going too far, but do something a friend would not be allowed to do. Touch her face, hair, leg, kiss her.

 

She will accept you or reject after that date. Don't drag it out. If after that she says you are just a friend, move along.

[dehahaha]

Thanks for the reply everyone. I was contemplating whether to even bother with the 2nd date but it sounds like she's telling me I was boring and I need to step it up a notch. Before the meeting, she would contact me first all the time, so I'm going to see if she does again. If she doesn't, she's clearly turned off by whatever I did or said so perhaps i won't bother. But if she approaches again, then I will arrange the 2nd date. I do not want to get in the chasing game...