Female Psychology - Is this Right?

[jaguar]

I am reading a book about attraction.

 

Well, anyway as far as I can see, he breaks up a few misconceptions I had. He says that women are attracted to different things, like behaviour, for example. He says that even if a woman meets such a guy, she would still want to pretend as if she is not interested enough. This means it is up to the guy to bring her to the comfort zone and bring her to the point where she needs to feel that she is not responsible. He says that women always feel that they should never be responsible for sex, because then they might feel like a whore. So the guy needs to take the initiative and make her feel that she is not in control of herself and that she would not go home with him of her own(because then she would feel like a whore).

 

So which means that women can be as slutty as men but they just need the different stimuli. If that stimuli is present, they would most probably act on it. But again, men need to take the initiative to make it seem as if the women had no better choice(or something like that).

 

Also women need to feel that they are chosen from multiple options. This is why women are attracted to taken men supposedly. They need to feel they are special. So men also need to be attractive to multiple women but at one time, flirt with only one girl.

 

So I am learning now how to give that stimuli.

 

So what do you think overall about this?

[ktya]

Its basically right.

 

Women are attracted to men that other women are attracted to because they are competitive. (The only thing better than your Crispy Crunch is someone else's). There might be some other stuff circling in their grey matter like that the other woman did the vetting and you might not be a creep or whatever but it makes no sense to overcomplicate things. This is why that guy who has 5 girls with him all the time seems to keep attracting more.

 

Being "that guy" however can be a very expensive venture. Think dating is expensive try dating 5 girls at once. I was dating 4 in January and even whittling it down to two come Valentines I did back to back Valentines dates and I was out about $140 between the gifts the cards and the meals. Even just mellow dating between the two of them, seeing them each 3-4 times a week mostly at their house or mine still cost me quite a bit with the takeout and the movies.

 

So dont listen to dudes who say guys who are multi-dating dont get respect from women. Women might SAY they dont want anything to do with them but what women SAY THEY WANT and what they ACTUALLY WANT are often vastly different things.

 

On the other point, the sex and stimulation this is quite true. I see guys on here saying they dont even go for the kiss until 2-4 dates and they dont go for the sex for a while. While these guys might set up decent LTRs with their game they are also opening themselves wide up to get played as second fiddle.

 

In contrast I always go for the full on tongue kiss if at all possible on the first date and I have never failed. I usually land them in the sack on the first if not second date, and after that they come back for more something fierce. Bear in mind this is even after I tell them that I am dating X other people right now they still keep coming back for more I dont play any players game.

 

The reason I get away with this I think is because I do make sure they dont feel like a slut or a whore, and take great care. I wouldnt sleep with them or kiss them if I didnt truly like something about them. What they need to feel it seems to get kicking it quickly is gentle assurance that you're not going to pump and dump them and leave them feeling used the next day.

 

I'm not into one night stands because for me, the sex gets better the more you have it with someone so I can play this game very genuinely and for me it usually works.

 

The reason I mentioned the early french kiss before the early sex is because it sets the stage. I was commenting in another thread that that first kiss sets the stage for the whole relationship. Hot passionate turning them on kiss = they see you as hot. Little peck first kiss = they see you as sweet and cute. Girls remember that first kiss with you for the rest of their lives, once that happens they get a bit confused and if they like the kiss then they often determine that they like you.

 

Nothing wrong with being Mr. sweet and cute but if you're on the study of attraction I think you're probably after more than sitting in some chick's living room sipping tea talking about the stuff she would normally talk to her girlfriends about. Being Mr. Hot and Sexy means when you arrive to drink tea in her living room you find her in her robe wearing her hottest lingerie with a half a bottle of wine in her raring to go.

 

Just depends what your after.

 

But dont overcomplicate the game you play whichever route you take. The most important thing women are attracted to is confidence and that you know what you want and your going to just take it (ie. THEM). Cerebrally knowing that and actually getting the balls to do it are two different things. It can be learned but you will have to grow a thick skin because if you are just trying it out to get it down your going to get rejected bad at least a few times until you figure it out and you cant let that rejection spoil your game.

 

A buddy of mine (who is a killer PUA IRL, not OLD) has a game theory that works. He goes up to the hottest girl in the bar and hits on her hard. If she says yes, fine, but hes more looking for her to reject him. Once he's gotten the rejection from the hottest girl in the place, he's immunized himself from the rejection and couldnt care less at that point whether the girls he hits on give him the number or not. This aloofness ups his game and pulls down any fears he have of hitting on other hot or less hot girls than the first one. He usually walks home with a girl every night he tries. On the bridge from kissing to sex he taught me a trick that works every time. You put her hand on your junk during the makeout session. I had 50/50 success going the other direction and I tried it. Worked every time.

[JourneyLady]

Tongue kiss on a first date? Yuk!

 

I had one guy do that with me and I refuse to date him at all now. Gross!

I tried to let him know I didn't like it by backing off and he didn't take the hint and kept doing it again.

 

On the first date I have no idea where your tongue has been recently and I am not wanting to take the chance on catching anything.

 

Oh.... well bars... Those women are often (not always) desperate and that explains it.

[Haydn]

As a bloke, i had a girl once almost kill me on a first date in the front of my car. Hands everywhere, biting. I didn`t like it all that much. Holding hands for me first. Unless Shakira shows up.