Is it the Epic Fail or just my imagination? Completely lost.

[Zzzzzy]

So, there is a guy in my college whom i like a lot and until Monday he seemed to like me as well. We know each other for around 1,5 month but never went out together. On last Saturday we finally did, we met in the evening, bought some drinks and went to a park. It was our first private conversation, we laughted and had fun. But then i think i drank more than i should, and became kinda pessimistic, told him some bad stories about my past (for example that i tried to kill myself several times).

I didn’t tell him anything about my ex, i wasn’t eager, i was not too talkative, i didn’t ask him if he gonna marry me… and other stuff girls often do on the first date.

Then we were kissing for good 5 minutes and he also kissed me a looong goodbye near my house.

 

So, i came home pretty happy. But he didn’t call/text me on Sunday. “Well, not a big deal” i thought. But when i came to college on Monday, for some reason i was nervous while waiting for him. And when he finally came, i swear i dont remember whether it was me or him who started acting like we didn’t have that date. But anyway at the end of the school day I was very upset thinking that he didn’t like me for some reason. On Tuesday I came to the smoke area and pretended I didn’t notice him standing there. So, he came close to me, touched my shoulder and said “hi”. And that was it.

 

If he was not studying in my college (so that I had nothing to lose),I would ask him if he wants to go out next weekend, and if he rejected me, I would just move on. But I see him almost every day and if he rejects me, I will start avoiding him and it will get too complicated and stressful for me. On the other hand, I want to stop f*cking my own brain and make it clear. I wanna find out if he really doesn’t like me anymore and just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, or is he waiting for me to make the first step.

 

Will take any advice, thank you!

[OhThatGirl]

He came over and said hi... What did you do at that point?

 

The fact he acknowledged you and kissed you after you told him you have attempted suicide multiple times means he hasn't been scared away (yet)

 

Chill out. Talk to him. Say hi and ask how his _____ is going.

 

And don't (please) bring up such heavy topics on a first date (never on a first date! Ever!).

 

Exes and marrying him that "most" other girls talk about? And by "most" I assume you mean the ones that don't get asked out again.

 

Again. Chill out. Talk to him like normal. Be light hearted and happy to see him. Flirt. Do anything but over analyze this and drive yourself crazy over it.

[RonaldS]

First Date Rule #1: don't bring up suicide attempts

[J21]

He said hi to you, how did you respond? Did you just look at him like you didn't know him? Or did you say hi and follow up with a "hey how are you?"

 

If your response wasn't welcoming, he's probably thinking the same thing you are right now.

 

If you keep thinking about it, I'd just get ask him out and get it over with. You had 1 date with him, it won't take much to get over him if he says no or doesn't reply. I think it's better than to keep thinking about it.

 

Also, I think sharing the attempting to kill yourself on the first date was a bit too much... nothing deep and dramatic ever in the first date.

 

 

Good luck

[Zzzzzy]

Well, my whole hand is covered with scars and he saw them before and kept starin at them. So i just decided to tell him the story for some reason.

When he said "Hi", we kinda had a short chat (cuz he was about to go to his next class), and i tried to be as nice as i could.

[Zzzzzy]

 

And don't (please) bring up such heavy topics on a first date (never on a first date! Ever!).

 

 

My bad, i just was drunk. In other case i wouldn't ever say anythin depressive on the first date. But yeah, he kissed me after that, so either he was not scared or did it for some other reason.

[slizl]

He made an effort to say "hi." Seems to me, you are probably the one bringing on the awkwardness, not him.

[Cunning_Linguist]

Stop being so awkward and just relax. Tell him you enjoyed going out with him and that you would like to do it again some time. Stop complicating things so much. Apologize for bringing up such a heavy topic on a first date, (if a girl did this with me it would be a definite red flag) that you drank a bit too much because you were nervous, but that suicide stuff is in the past and you are actively working to face your demons.

 

Personally, I understand that nobody is perfect and that we all have our demons. What I have no sympathy for is people that use past trauma as a crutch to avoid facing their fears and have that victim mentality. My point being, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if a girl had tried to commit suicide in the past, but it would be a deal breaker if she kept dwelling on it and used it as an excuse to not live her life to the fullest, and wasn't actively trying to change and face her demons.