eternal.denied84 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Heya, I met a girl at workplace whom I found attractive and I felt that I should get to know her more. This girl is a new joinee on my floor. So I approach her casually, initiate a topic quoting how is she finding and all. We go for a coffee, conversation goes smooth and we disperse. Couple of days Passes by. I ask her out to do a lunch together, she agrees, we finalize a date but she got something else on that day so we do it some other day. Lunch goes pretty well, I flirt with her. she tells me that she has a boyfriend who is not as serious about her as she is. So I keep on flirting. I ask her what does she want in her guy..she gives me she loves her boyfriend. I stress that I expecting what characteristics you look for to which she tells me something something. when she asks me the same question, I tell her, I want a clone of you who could be as serious and dedicated as you are. To which she says ..it seems you have been very good at impressing girls. And we disperse on that note. Couple of days later, I ping her to ask whats up and I get short one liner replies from her. So, I back off. A week later I ping her and again I get the feeling that she is probably not very interested in carrying out the conversation..so I cut it short and back off. Now, whats going on here ? Is she giving me signals that she is not interested. was my joke that I need a clone of you was a little too much? Did I show her my interest quite early in the process ? Should I directly ask her if she has been avoiding me lately because this has been disturbing me or should I just back off without saying a word. Girl to me seems introvert and shy. So there might be a possibility that she is not avoiding but little worried about the impression she would be giving to me if she carries out with me after I gave her strong hints that I am interested in her. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Back off and move on. The BF line is probably her way of saying she's not interested. And you work with her!!! Talk about complicated! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Hello "Boyfriend" Hello?! Leave this one alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Back off. Never pursue girls who say they have a boyfriend because even if it isn't true, she's telling you this because she's not interested in a relationship with YOU. And if it is true, you look like a douchbag for trying to break up a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 She has a boyfriend + you work together = NO 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Where is the mystery in this. Ya she is saying back off. Move along. Nothing to see here. But - and there is always a but - keep an eye out for her to return when said BF breaks her heart. She will let you know - don't pester her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 She isn't interested. Back off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eternal.denied84 Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 So even if I am in interested in her only as a friend you suggest that I back off. Won't backing off end this altogether? lets say I like her as a person.dont you think an honest conversation when I explain her that I just want to be a friend would make things smooth. This is when I honestly looking for friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 It doesn't sound like you're honestly looking for "just friendship". Link to post Share on other sites
yogo Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 back off and don't be a douche... what you perceived as "mixed signals" is her being nice to you as a newbie in your company. Lets not ruin her current relationship and make her career that much harder... its already hard enough trying to fit in as a new hire. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 You're pretty Intense. I agree with all above, the whole just friendship thing that you want know...I'd wait...let her settle into her new job...give her breathing space and move along. Your "joking" comment was Crazy intense, who asked about why they look for in a partner on first hangout? When she clearly stated she has a boyfriend.... We have a level 10 clinger on our hands!!! Link to post Share on other sites
OhThatGirl Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Whoa. You ask a coworker out to lunch. She tells you she has a boyfriend. You proceed to flirt with her? Ask her what she wants in a relationship? Then tell her you want a CLONE OF HER? It's not because she's shy. It's because she has a boyfriend. On top of that you dismissed the fact she had a boyfriend and continued coming on WAY too strong. Don't even try for friendship. You kind of ruined that when you didn't respect the fact she is in a relationship and came on to her anyway. Be cordial if you have to see her but consider her gone. Please don't go chasing girls that are in relationships. Never ever tell a girl you want to date her clone. That's never going to work out. Link to post Share on other sites
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