shortcake_082 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hi all- My bf and I have been dating for a few years now. His brother is getting married in June 2014 and they are planning the bachelor party in Vegas. He just disclosed to me tonight that the only date that works for the entire party of 10-12 guys is my birthday (March 9). I have a bit of an issue with this as I find it extremely hard to believe between now and early June there are no other dates that will work. I'm also unhappy that he didn't disclose this information over a week ago bc he was afraid I would be upset. I should mention that on my birthday last year we were long distance (600 miles) and he flew in to celebrate with me and ended up helping his other brother move the majority of the time although he had a month to complete moving and pretty much ruined my birthday. Needless to say, I am a very unhappy gf right now. My question is simple-do I have a right to feel upset that my bf would even entertain a Vegas bachelor bash on my birthday (yes, I understand it is his brother's which is why I feel confused), that he didn't stand up for me/my feelings, and his dishonesty concerning full disclosure this was going on? Or am I being a big jerk expecting him to celebrate my birthday instead of his bro's bachelor party? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 If you are over 12, you are attaching too much importance to your birthday. While I personally hate stereotypical bachelor parties (and any one in vegas would qualify), I don't see this being some conspiracy to avoid your birthday. Trying to schedule a weekend that works for a dozen people is a pretty tough logistical puzzle. Feel free to get as angry as you like. Many people (particularly women) place higher importance on birthdays (especially their own) than I do. I just don't know how hard you want to play this hand. You could pitch a fit to make him either skip the trip or feel really bad about it. Or you could be a good sport about it and wish him well. There are probably pluses and minuses to both approaches. But there is probably less downside to wishing him well. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hopefully, you are going to have many more birthdays than his brother will have bachelor parties. Let it go. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 He didn't want to bring it up because you would get upset, which you did. His BROTHER'S once in a lifetime MARRIAGE trumps your once a year birthday. Your princess complex is ridiculous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pyramid Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I would be a little annoyed, but I'd understand, and I'd expect some birthday attention the weekend before. I love my birthday. I'd plan a girls night for the actual day. Link to post Share on other sites
loopsy Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 There are about 15 weekends between now and June. Those 12 guys were comfortable ruling out different weekends because they had plans. It kind of sounds like boyfriend didn't bother to say he had plans or try to negotiate a different date. And, this is the second year in a row. The disappointment is understandable. And, he knew he was letting you down which is why he waited to tell you. Is this common for him? Does he make promises to do stuff with you and then put you on hold when someone else asks him to do something on the same day? I'd say if he has made it a pattern to expect you to accommodate everyone else's convenience and he never worries about yours... it might be time to move on without him. Link to post Share on other sites
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