Another first and last date

[TheNextLawyer]

Again I've tried the internet route. She was a well educated and ambitious woman, 4 years my junior. I enjoyed her manner and intelligence but felt she could have chatted without effort to a stuffed doll just as well. Poor eye contact until we sat down to dinner. Hard to get much word in and when I spoke for the remaining 10% of time she was not always very patient.

A shame, but the flirting on the instant messenger was just the imagination of mr/mrs right, and the in person chemistry was different.

 

I still felt enough in common to be a platonic friend, and sent a diplomatic message today saying I felt like this. (What sealed it was, when parting, that she only offered a hand shake, and was not comfortable with a kiss on cheek, despite accepting it when first meeting).

 

Her response was a few hours in coming and she said something like 'you were good company and I feel like you that we could be friends at most'. However a key phrase in there made me think she actually found me repulsive and dull, so I have decided to block her on the website, and to remove our chat history off my smartphone. If she wants to say hi, I won't ignore her there, but I am pretty much moved on.

 

Will try the scene in bar/clubs this weekend. Even a meaningless kiss is better than a date with someone who pretends like a well-trained actor to like me on any level whatsoever.

[SYLLPalmer]

Your date with this woman is NOT a soothsayer for your future nor collective experience with OLD if you don't throw in the towel. Currently I have a 1:12 ratio of good to subpar matches. That one..... creates with me the things that dreams and movies are made of so far. It may fizzle out but the fact remains that I have to play to win! Be resilient!

[TheNextLawyer]

^ Ok - nice post, much appreciated. I posted earlier in month about the other online date. In some ways it was better, some ways worse - same end result.

 

I do need time to make friends, once people get used to me they can be very comfortable and open up, when they might be less reticent with someone more mainstream. So by that logic I expect a bit less success on dates - especially 'blind online dates'. Still annoying to feel things are going well but they are just smoke and mirrors.

 

I am getting less scared of rejection these days. There are many worse things in life and I am very lucky to live in one of the richest and safest countries.

[SYLLPalmer]

^ Ok - nice post, much appreciated. I posted earlier in month about the other online date. In some ways it was better, some ways worse - same end result.

 

I do need time to make friends, once people get used to me they can be very comfortable and open up, when they might be less reticent with someone more mainstream. So by that logic I expect a bit less success on dates - especially 'blind online dates'. Still annoying to feel things are going well but they are just smoke and mirrors.

 

I am getting less scared of rejection these days. There are many worse things in life and I am very lucky to live in one of the richest and safest countries.

 

Good! Nothing escapes the laws of probability. One other relevant and late life pearl revealed to me via the OLD world is that there are a ton of qualities out there that I never knew I wanted, needed or that actually suit me better than my own self defined "preferences."

 

The one goodie I speak of would have made me run the other way had we met in a bar. My head was saying "oh hell no, not your type" in the first 5 minutes of our initial meet and greet. Yet half way threw the meeting I am compelled to touch his cheek and praise him for the outstanding vignette he shared with me. And his response to this simple action was priceless.

 

My heart permits these prolonged dates that start at 11am and end at 8pm while my brain keeps wonder what our collective self is doing.