skela Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I've had a fwb for a few weeks now. Great guy. He texts me good morning every day. Texts me throughout the day. Texts me good night. Tells me how amazing he thinks I am. He was going away for the weekend and drove 45 minutes just to come and give me a hug but still texted me while he was away. We agreed that we were just going to be fwb - no relationship no attachment. We are exclusive - no sex with anyone else. I was getting concerned that he was getting attached and did a reality check a couple times but he said he is fine. I don't mind texting with him etc because he is really cool to talk to but just want to get other opinions to make sure i'm not over reacting and I should just take him at his word. Link to post Share on other sites
dontgo Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Yeah he is way to into you for fwb. Fwb = texts ONLY like "My place in 10 wear something sexy" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine87 Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 FWB arrangements almost never "work out" because one party ends up wanting more. He is only human. It's difficult to sever emotions from sexual contact. Some people are able to do so, but a lot of people are simply not built that way. It doesn't matter what "agreements" you reached prior to your relationship because emotions are devoid of logic. Do you want more? Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 You know, I can't decide if I'm glad "my generation" didn't have the whole FWB thing or not. Seems like more trouble than it's worth from what I read. To hard to keep things straight. Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 It very rarely happens where I fall in love with my FWB. I often only have FWB situations with people who I have dated in the past, or want to date. There are very few situations in which I've continued a FWB situation simply because of the sex. I need to be at least attracted to my FWB...there needs to be a connection. I'm also very forthcoming of what I want. If I'm looking to develop something more, I will make that known. If I'm being exclusive, I will make that known as well. If it is monogamous.. then it needs to remain that way! If your FWB can't keep his feelings at bay and you have no other feelings for him other than using his manpole for your satisfaction, then you may need to reduce his friendship to one without benefits... My 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I wasn't aware FWBs could be exclusive. Sounds like you have a boyfriend to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 We agreed that we were just going to be fwb - no relationship no attachment... he said he is fine. You'll find out how "fine" he is with the arrangement when you meet another man whom you consider "serious relationship" material. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Wow it is so amazing that there are gals on this forum including me who are looking for serious relationships and guys are ditching us left n right .. because of a wrong text or phone call or showing emotions bit too soon ... And people who are FWB have guys falling for them... Lol ? However, I wouldn't be so fast in thinking this guy is falling for u based on texting... Even though a guy can dump a gal based on a text.. Still a guy cannot fall in love with a gal thru text... ? If this above post sounds screwed up am taking sole responsibility for it.. Haha Now coming to serious part... Why did u let him travel 45 mins n come to see you ? Why do u answer his texts all day? Limit all this stuff.. If r feeling emotions r coming into play please end it with him irrespective of what he says... Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 FWB arrangements almost never "work out" because one party ends up wanting more. He is only human. It's difficult to sever emotions from sexual contact. Some people are able to do so, but a lot of people are simply not built that way. It doesn't matter what "agreements" you reached prior to your relationship because emotions are devoid of logic. Do you want more? Well we both entered this just wanting a straight fwb relationship for various reasons. If things were different he is possibly the type of person I would have a relationship with but I've haven't been thinking along those lines. When he came to my home he called me when he was on my street. I spoke to him today and he said he doesn't want to get attached. He wants us to slow things down and get to know each other better. But he doesn't want to mislead me and let me think there could be a relationship. So conflicting messages lol. As long as he says he's not falling I'll have to believe that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 FWB arrangements almost never "work out" because one party ends up wanting more. He is only human. It's difficult to sever emotions from sexual contact. Some people are able to do so, but a lot of people are simply not built that way. It doesn't matter what "agreements" you reached prior to your relationship because emotions are devoid of logic. Do you want more? I wasn't aware FWBs could be exclusive. Sounds like you have a boyfriend to me. We aren't sleeping with other people. If we meet someone we want to sleep with then we end it. Link to post Share on other sites
IAmRobot Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Lol, so you're FWBs but do not have sex with anyone else and text each other every day. Mind telling me the difference between that and a relationship? Just say you're in a relationship but not that into your guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I've had a fwb for a few weeks now. Great guy. He texts me good morning every day. Texts me throughout the day. Texts me good night. Tells me how amazing he thinks I am. He was going away for the weekend and drove 45 minutes just to come and give me a hug but still texted me while he was away. We agreed that we were just going to be fwb - no relationship no attachment. We are exclusive - no sex with anyone else. I was getting concerned that he was getting attached and did a reality check a couple times but he said he is fine. I don't mind texting with him etc because he is really cool to talk to but just want to get other opinions to make sure i'm not over reacting and I should just take him at his word. You can't call it a FWB just because you want to. If he acts like a boyfriend, has sex with you like a boyfriend, is exclusive like a boyfriend and does mushy stuff like a boyfriend, then HE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND! The FWB label is just to confuse yourselves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 You can't call it a FWB just because you want to. If he acts like a boyfriend, has sex with you like a boyfriend, is exclusive like a boyfriend and does mushy stuff like a boyfriend, then HE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND! The FWB label is just to confuse yourselves. But we are free to talk to and date other people. If we get to the point where we are going to have sex with them then our thing ends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 Lol, so you're FWBs but do not have sex with anyone else and text each other every day. Mind telling me the difference between that and a relationship? Just say you're in a relationship but not that into your guy. It's both our first time doing this. Maybe we didn't realize that we would actually connect this way. Now I'm getting confused LOL. But he says he is not attached and doesn't want to mislead me. I am fine going on the way things are. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't doubling talking me because I don't want him to be hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 It's both our first time doing this. Maybe we didn't realize that we would actually connect this way. Now I'm getting confused LOL. But he says he is not attached and doesn't want to mislead me. I am fine going on the way things are. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't doubling talking me because I don't want him to be hurt. What is there to get hurt when both of you are using each other for sex? I think he is pretty clear about his intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
runningfar Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) Fwb is friends with benefit. There's some emotion there just not love or commitment. From what I understand, it can be exclusive on sex--- you let the person know before you have other interaction (safety concerns) but can date.. Contrary to what some say above. While guys can fall unintentionally take him at his word and don't let your heart get too involved. Some people just like the fun emotional stuff too as part of it. Just enjoy and have fun. Sounds better than the casual hookups some are misdubbing as FWB- and how bad is a relationship if that's the criteria? Don't let these confuse you or the emotion confuse you over what it is or you might get hurt Edited December 30, 2013 by runningfar Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 Fwb is friends with benefit. There's some emotion there just not love or commitment. From what I understand, it can be exclusive on sex--- you let the person know before you have other interaction (safety concerns) but can date.. Contrary to what some say above. While guys can fall unintentionally take him at his word and don't let your heart get too involved. Some people just like the fun emotional stuff too as part of it. Just enjoy and have fun. Sounds better than the casual hookups some are misdubbing as FWB- and how bad is a relationship if that's the criteria? Don't let these confuse you or the emotion confuse you over what it is or you might get hurt Good. I'm going to take him at his word and continue as is. Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 do you not want a boyfriend? Are you sure that you dont have feelings for him, and are playing it safe, pretending to be concerned for his status when really its you thats falling? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I am more concerned about you catching feelings since reading between the lines you almost hope that he wants more. I disagree with other posters. He is not your boyfriend until he says he is. All the other stuff like texting all day etc. doesn't mean much. Maybe he is bored, maybe he enjoys lots of communication. Sexual exclusivity just means he hasn't met anyone that he wants to sleep with and it's reciprocated but this could happen any day. That's where commitment comes in and he is not committed to you. Casual relationships can be intense but it doesn't mean love and it doesn't mean it's going anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 do you not want a boyfriend? Are you sure that you dont have feelings for him, and are playing it safe, pretending to be concerned for his status when really its you thats falling? No. I don't want a boyfriend right now. I was just making sure that I wasn't reading too much into his actions and things he says at times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skela Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 I am more concerned about you catching feelings since reading between the lines you almost hope that he wants more. I disagree with other posters. He is not your boyfriend until he says he is. All the other stuff like texting all day etc. doesn't mean much. Maybe he is bored, maybe he enjoys lots of communication. Sexual exclusivity just means he hasn't met anyone that he wants to sleep with and it's reciprocated but this could happen any day. That's where commitment comes in and he is not committed to you. Casual relationships can be intense but it doesn't mean love and it doesn't mean it's going anywhere. No. He is younger than me so for me a relationship is not an option but i do enjoy his company and talking to him. I still talk to other guys. Because of being busy over the holidays have not been out with anyone else. Neither has he Link to post Share on other sites
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