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dating a much younger girl


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Old 8th November 2013, 9:08 PM   #1
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dating a much younger girl

I'm a professional male that's 41 years old. I'm not the best looking guy so I don't have my pick of woman. I have struck up a friendship with an 18 year old girl and she seems to be interested in going out with me. Maybe not seriously but somewhat more of a casual relationship. I think she likes the fact I have my act together and can treat her well. She probably is not used to that in comparison to younger guys she has dated.

Anyway, what does everyone feel about a 41 year old guy hanging out and most probably having sex with an 18 year old girl. I'm conflicted about it myself. I don't get many opportunities to have fun and enjoy myself. Should I deprive myself because she might be too young. Or should I just have fun if she's willing?
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Old 8th November 2013, 9:22 PM   #2
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You couldn't find someone who was at least half your age? Though seriously, what would you guys even talk about? I don't think I'd do that one man. Let's aim for someone who wasn't born in the mid 90s, eh?
She likes my sense of humor and I make her laugh. I act silly and she likes it so not having stuff to talk about is not the issue. I'm more concerned about am I being a creep in some way because I'm not older than her. I don't think so because it's not like I'm taking advantage of her in any way. But I would like to hear opinions.
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Old 8th November 2013, 9:44 PM   #3
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If you decided to pursue something, I would do so with extreme caution for several reasons:
1. You are more likely looking for some fun and nothing too serious (like marriage and kids). She may say the same at first, but she's young, easily influenced, and likely to start fantasizing about marriage, kids, etc at some point. She will likely get a lot more attached than you. If you proceed, continue to verbalize that you are looking for short-term fun.

2. Will the stigma of dating (i.e. sleeping with) someone that much younger than you have a negative impact on your social and professional life. Will it creep out your friends? Do you have a job where this would be seriously frowned upon (teacher, public figure, work for a not-for-profit, health care worker). It would be culturally frowned upon in many places and this may have a negative impact on your social/professional life. Are you willing to take that risk?

3. She may be "of legal age" but an 18 year old's brain is not fully matured yet. Because of this and because of the vast difference in life experiences between the two of you, she will process information, ideas, etc differently than you. This will likely lead to more drama, issues, etc than you may want. Do you want to deal with a pouty teenager?

4. What will happen if she gets pregnant? I know a 41 year old woman could get pregnant too, but how that person will handle the pregnancy, you, etc will be vastly different than how an 18 year old will. Do you want to be a baby daddy?

5. Are you ready for the staring that will ensure when you flirt, kiss, etc out in public? Everyone around you will have one thing on their mind - why is that man with someone more than young enough to be his daughter?

I'm sure there are many other issues to consider too. This is really a tricky situation. Both of you could be wonderful people and enjoy each other's company. In the long run, your life will be a lot more complicated if you try to pursue it. You'd probably be happier in the long run if you decided to pursue a woman closer to your own age, but I could be totally wrong too.
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Old 8th November 2013, 9:58 PM   #4
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I don't consider 18y/o to be mature enough for someone over 25, let alone 41. There is a big difference between 18 and 21. Good bit of difference between 21 and 25. Little bit of difference between 25 and 30. By 30...whatever.

Personally, I have standards. 25 and over and I check ID. 18 is just a babe in the woods. Should let her be.
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Old 8th November 2013, 10:08 PM   #5
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I'm 21 and I wouldn't date an 18 y/o.
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Old 8th November 2013, 10:09 PM   #6
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I don't consider 18y/o to be mature enough for someone over 25, let alone 41. There is a big difference between 18 and 21. Good bit of difference between 21 and 25. Little bit of difference between 25 and 30. By 30...whatever.

Personally, I have standards. 25 and over and I check ID. 18 is just a babe in the woods. Should let her be.
Lets say she is pursuing the relationship and wants to get together. For some reason she likes older men and wants someone more experienced. I don't disagree with many of the things you're saying but she is making it tough for me to walk away taking into account I don't get too many opportunities.
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Old 8th November 2013, 10:13 PM   #7
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I'm 21 and I wouldn't date an 18 y/o.
I never said this is ideal for me. You're probably a good looking guy and can get other girls. My choices are limited based on my looks so I'm partly settling and somewhat compromising my values I guess.
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Old 8th November 2013, 10:25 PM   #8
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I never said this is ideal for me. You're probably a good looking guy and can get other girls. My choices are limited based on my looks so I'm partly settling and somewhat compromising my values I guess.
So you are considering compromising and settling because you have a hard time getting a lady your own age? She is 18. Do you think this pursuit is in her best interest? Do you care? Have you considered where her head is and her history that she would be seeking the attention of a man her fathers age?
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Old 9th November 2013, 12:14 AM   #9
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I'm guessing her parents were never married or her father was never in the picture, or not for long, so she craves male attention. Get a vasectomy before you date/screw her in case she sees you as a way to have a nice income for the next eighteen years by getting pregnant. Don't be foolish enough to believe her if she tells you she is on birth control. You need to take charge of that situation.
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Old 9th November 2013, 8:52 AM   #10
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If you're focusing that you're not taking advantage of her, I do not see a problem with it.
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Old 9th November 2013, 8:54 AM   #11
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Is she attractive at all or even average looking for an 18 year old?


I'm baffled why an 18 year old would want a 41 year old man unless that 41 year old man looked like a movie star or something
......sugardaddie.
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Old 9th November 2013, 9:13 AM   #12
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<21 can be trouble if she's drunk in public with you.
Other than that the standard rules of don't knock her up & don't get feelings for her are in place.

Have fun, make sure she knows it's just fun.

I hope she's hot enough that your friends won't make fun of you.
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Old 9th November 2013, 9:22 AM   #13
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When I read the title of your post & the first line showing that you are 41, I was about to chastise you for calling a grown woman a girl, but then I read that you are in fact dating a TEENAGER.


On some levels age is just a number. If you were 44 & she was 21, I'd be less concerned about it. But here, she can't even go to a bar for heaven's sake. Is she still in high school? What are you going to do, take her to the prom? Its not the span of years, it's the life stage. You are old enough to have kids her age. She has here whole life ahead of you & even if you are "serious" about her or at least the ego boost you are getting because some hot young chick is into you, in a few months she's gonna bolt. This is not sustainable. I don't see a scenario where this ends well.
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Old 9th November 2013, 10:37 AM   #14
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I'm guessing her parents were never married or her father was never in the picture, or not for long, so she craves male attention. Get a vasectomy before you date/screw her in case she sees you as a way to have a nice income for the next eighteen years by getting pregnant. Don't be foolish enough to believe her if she tells you she is on birth control. You need to take charge of that situation.
Actually her parents were married and still together today. She claims to really like older guys and doesn't get along with boys her age.
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Old 9th November 2013, 11:08 AM   #15
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Aren't you worried about what her father would do to you if he found out?!?
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