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Unrealistic expectations


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Old 16th September 2013, 8:42 PM   #1
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Unrealistic expectations

What are unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating? I'm starting to think my expectations are way too high which has made me unsuccessful when it comes to dating.
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:45 PM   #2
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What are they?
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:46 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by jaimejams View Post
Unrealistic to expect men to
-see you as a person before a sex object
-value you primarily for something OTHER than your looks
-be satisfied with one woman sexually for longer than 5 years
-treat women with respect
-not be hypocrites
Egad. I am SOOO sorry for what you must have gone through. So bleak....so depressing. And not ALL guys are total creeps.
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:46 PM   #4
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Expecting to find better than me is pretty unrealistic.
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:48 PM   #5
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I just expect the same amount of respect that I give someone that I'm dating. Someone who will be mature enough to openly communicate instead of withdrawing or running away from confrontation.
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:50 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Jadedbyluv View Post
I just expect the same amount of respect that I give someone that I'm dating. Someone who will be mature enough to openly communicate instead of withdrawing or running away from confrontation.
That's not unrealistic. That should be standard.

I was expecting a laundry list of physical items down to the preferred length of eyelashes.
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:54 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by jaimejams View Post
Those are my standards. I have found 1 who didn't do those things.

prob most of the guys you dated were like this and you didn't realize it, Its the truth
Okay, so there's hope, right?

BTW, I have never dated a guy. But when and if I do, I'll have a much better idea of where you're coming from!
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:55 PM   #8
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I'm not talking about being picky. Just more expecting someone to treat me as I would treat them.
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Old 16th September 2013, 8:57 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Jadedbyluv View Post
I'm not talking about being picky. Just more expecting someone to treat me as I would treat them.
That's not unrealistic and don't let anybody try to tell you different. This should be standard in relationships. So standard in fact, that people shouldn't even be rewarded for doing it. It should be expected.
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Old 16th September 2013, 9:03 PM   #10
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Define what "makes you unsuccessful when it comes to dating".

Is it the end result? Because if that's the key success factor, all singles have been unsuccessful, irrelevant of their partner's selection process.

I've recently realized that, if anything, I need to be more strict on my "expectations". No more "just drinks, decent conversation and a good laugh", here boys. I gotta think of something more creative, a distinctive criteria that will make a huge impact on the prospects of my single life. And I am obviously lost...

And no, Mr. Castle, you're not it !
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Old 16th September 2013, 9:07 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by MrCastle View Post
That's not unrealistic and don't let anybody try to tell you different. This should be standard in relationships. So standard in fact, that people shouldn't even be rewarded for doing it. It should be expected.
My ex used to always make plans with me then just ignore me or cancel. He would only make time when he wanted. This guy never respected me and was a jerk. Now when I'm dating, I have the expectation for someone to follow through with plans or just communicate effectively if plans need to change. I would do the same so I expect the same. When someone flakes, I get upset. I take it personally. Then people have made me feel like I'm expecting too much.
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Old 16th September 2013, 9:11 PM   #12
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My ex used to always make plans with me then just ignore me or cancel. He would only make time when he wanted. This guy never respected me and was a jerk. Now when I'm dating, I have the expectation for someone to follow through with plans or just communicate effectively if plans need to change. I would do the same so I expect the same. When someone flakes, I get upset. I take it personally. Then people have made me feel like I'm expecting too much.
How long was the relationship with your ex? And why did you keep him around if he was such a flake?

I think have the expectation that people follow through on their plans is far from an unreasonable expectation. However, I'm assuming that you're attracted to men that are "flakey" even if you don't like the flakey behaviour. Qualities like dependable, reliable and consistent don't tend to wet the panties of most women...
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Old 16th September 2013, 9:15 PM   #13
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How long was the relationship with your ex? And why did you keep him around if he was such a flake?

I think have the expectation that people follow through on their plans is far from an unreasonable expectation. However, I'm assuming that you're attracted to men that are "flakey" even if you don't like the flakey behaviour. Qualities like dependable, reliable and consistent don't tend to wet the panties of most women...
It was over 3 years. To put it simply, I stayed because I didn't know better.
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Old 16th September 2013, 9:45 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Jadedbyluv View Post
It was over 3 years. To put it simply, I stayed because I didn't know better.
So do you feel that your type has changed because of this experience? Or are you still attracted to the same type of men?
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Old 16th September 2013, 9:49 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Weezy1973 View Post
Qualities like dependable, reliable and consistent don't tend to wet the panties of most women...
You're dating on the wrong continent, mate. Come over to Europe, women would kill for that - including yours truly ! I don't mean just for that.... you know what I mean!
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