Is MGTOW the answer for men who can't date?

[Otty]

These guys (MGTOW -- Men Going Their Own Way) have some interesting ideas about love, sex, dating and men in general. Basically, they say men should avoid dating and especially committment and marriage. What does everyone think?

Edited May 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ltjg45]

Interesting. I never seen a forum like that one before.

 

I will consider their point of views as well as the ones being observed here. The more information, the merrier.

[Harlequin_Dog]

Good lord- that site is a trainwreck.

 

It looks to be nothing but a hive mind of "good guys" looking for validation from other "good guys." I'd say away- it looks like one hell of a toxic mindset to slip into.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

That site is more for divorced guys that were screwed over BIG TIME by their ex-wives.

[ltjg45]

Good lord- that site is a trainwreck.

 

It looks to be nothing but a hive mind of "good guys" looking for validation from other "good guys." I'd say away- it looks like one hell of a toxic mindset to slip into.

 

Sometimes, I wonder.

 

I really do wonder. It's not like I hasn't heard some of these things before and, frankly, I do note that when it comes to whether or not I should bother putting in the effort to court women.

 

Women got their own share of problems.

 

Men do too. I seen both sides' arguments and I agree with them both.

 

So saying that what they are saying, and why, and call it a bunch of BS is just being ignorant.

[Harlequin_Dog]

Just adding on to what I already mentioned- this link was in their posts of the day area:

 

 

This is the sort of ideology this group supports. This is really horribly ingrown, immature, and shows an extreme lack of understanding. These men appear to have a severe distaste for women- perhaps from bad past experiences or sexist beliefs. But, really, if you want a healthy relationship, I would RUN away from any advice offered there.

Edited May 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ltjg45]

Just adding on to what I already mentioned- this link was in their posts of the day area:

 

 

This is the sort of ideology this group supports. This is really horribly ingrown, immature, and shows an extreme lack of understanding. These men appear to have a severe distaste for women- perhaps from bad past experiences or sexist beliefs. But, really, if you want a healthy relationship, I would RUN away from any advice offered there.

 

That crap doesn't even make sense to me and, frankly, I rather not put the effort to figure it out.

 

Sounds very religious and I got no tolerance for religion.

Edited May 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Sometimes, I wonder.

 

I really do wonder. It's not like I hasn't heard some of these things before and, frankly, I do note that when it comes to whether or not I should bother putting in the effort to court women.

 

Women got their own share of problems.

 

Men do too. I seen both sides' arguments and I agree with them both.

 

So saying that what they are saying, and why, and call it a bunch of BS is just being ignorant.

 

It's definitely worth checking out, in my opinion.

 

Just realize that it's one microcosm of the dating world and contains, generally, the worst case scenarios for men.

 

I do think that some of their views on the treatment of men in modern society are spot on though.

[ltjg45]

It's definitely worth checking out, in my opinion.

 

Just realize that it's one microcosm of the dating world and contains, generally, the worst case scenarios for men.

 

I do think that some of their views on the treatment of men in modern society are spot on though.

 

I generally figured that out just looking at the name of the forum so I know what I'm walking into.

 

Not to mention some of the stuff they said, I already aware of and this is the reason why I'm not in any form of a rush to get married for any reason unless I accept losing everything to her if it does goes to divorce.

[Harlequin_Dog]

Sometimes, I wonder.

 

I really do wonder. It's not like I hasn't heard some of these things before and, frankly, I do note that when it comes to whether or not I should bother putting in the effort to court women.

 

Women got their own share of problems.

 

Men do too. I seen both sides' arguments and I agree with them both.

 

So saying that what they are saying, and why, and call it a bunch of BS is just being ignorant.

 

A lot of what is being said on there is very limited, and fueled by anger and false expectations. You hear a lot of what is being said on there because men are raised with false ideas of what they need to do to "get their girl." In American culture (looking at that, as most poster appear to be American, and I have the most experience speaking to American culture), men are fed the idea of being "given" a girl simply for...getting a job. Or asking her out. Or being her friend, and become outraged when women don't fall all over them just for being alive.

 

It's outright toxic. Straight out. There are no specific gender issues, just human issues. Everyone has problems- be it family, self-image, finances, whatever. You can't find a perfect partner. You have to look for someone who you love for who they are- someone to grow with and be equal to.

 

This is not (from the posts I looked over) what these men went looking for. They wanted a concept of a 50's subservient housewife. They wanted an object.

 

And that's the main problem- a human isn't something you can own.

 

(Sorry for the rambling- but that's a rough outline of some of the issues I'm seeing with that board. )

[grkBoy]

I think when a male does MGTOW he should get away from it all. Dating, love, sex, etc.

 

He should take this time to take stock of his life, and look to find direction. He should seek out what would make himself happy in life as a lone male. Work to better himself, find happiness, find fulfillment, etc.

 

These guys IMHO make the mistake of spending all day hating on women, or looking to use women like playthings out of some need for "revenge". The problem is they haven't gone their own way then. They're still looking at their lives and carrying them with women, dating, etc...in the picture.

 

When I did my stint in MGTOW, I chose not to hate women...but I also decided not to take them seriously when it came to dating. I simply decided to be their friends, colleagues, etc...but not their dates, boyfriends, lovers, etc.

 

My logic was simply to free myself of the pressures of dating and trying to please women in this sense. I wanted to be free. To live my life not worrying anymore if I found someone or even if I ever got laid again. I wanted to live by my own rules, to be able to simply say "GOODBYE" when I see BS.

 

To me that's what MGTOW is in my book. To simply decide to remove yourself from the dating pool and live life by your own rules.

 

I'll also say it boosted my self-esteem. It made me feel good about myself. It also showed. I had a lot of fun, and when I met my fiancee...I still called the shots on my life. The problem with the guys who fail is they don't call the shots, and still think they're nothing if they don't have a woman.

[Woggle]

These guys should get together with the militant feminists who constantly bash men. They say that people who are alike tend to clash the most so why not?

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I think when a male does MGTOW he should get away from it all. Dating, love, sex, etc.

 

He should take this time to take stock of his life, and look to find direction. He should seek out what would make himself happy in life as a lone male. Work to better himself, find happiness, find fulfillment, etc.

 

These guys IMHO make the mistake of spending all day hating on women, or looking to use women like playthings out of some need for "revenge". The problem is they haven't gone their own way then. They're still looking at their lives and carrying them with women, dating, etc...in the picture.

 

When I did my stint in MGTOW, I chose not to hate women...but I also decided not to take them seriously when it came to dating. I simply decided to be their friends, colleagues, etc...but not their dates, boyfriends, lovers, etc.

 

My logic was simply to free myself of the pressures of dating and trying to please women in this sense. I wanted to be free. To live my life not worrying anymore if I found someone or even if I ever got laid again. I wanted to live by my own rules, to be able to simply say "GOODBYE" when I see BS.

 

To me that's what MGTOW is in my book. To simply decide to remove yourself from the dating pool and live life by your own rules.

 

I'll also say it boosted my self-esteem. It made me feel good about myself. It also showed. I had a lot of fun, and when I met my fiancee...I still called the shots on my life. The problem with the guys who fail is they don't call the shots, and still think they're nothing if they don't have a woman.

 

I think every man in this society gets to that point at one time or another.

 

The thing with a lot of those guys in that forum is that they can't completely get away from their exes. Many of them are stuck paying child support or alimony so the reminders are always there.

 

I knew that if I ever had to pay that and saw such a large amount of money taken out of my paycheck or pretty much no reason, I would be very angry too.

[ThaWholigan]

I think when a male does MGTOW he should get away from it all. Dating, love, sex, etc.

 

He should take this time to take stock of his life, and look to find direction. He should seek out what would make himself happy in life as a lone male. Work to better himself, find happiness, find fulfillment, etc.

 

These guys IMHO make the mistake of spending all day hating on women, or looking to use women like playthings out of some need for "revenge". The problem is they haven't gone their own way then. They're still looking at their lives and carrying them with women, dating, etc...in the picture.

 

When I did my stint in MGTOW, I chose not to hate women...but I also decided not to take them seriously when it came to dating. I simply decided to be their friends, colleagues, etc...but not their dates, boyfriends, lovers, etc.

 

My logic was simply to free myself of the pressures of dating and trying to please women in this sense. I wanted to be free. To live my life not worrying anymore if I found someone or even if I ever got laid again. I wanted to live by my own rules, to be able to simply say "GOODBYE" when I see BS.

 

To me that's what MGTOW is in my book. To simply decide to remove yourself from the dating pool and live life by your own rules.

 

I'll also say it boosted my self-esteem. It made me feel good about myself. It also showed. I had a lot of fun, and when I met my fiancee...I still called the shots on my life. The problem with the guys who fail is they don't call the shots, and still think they're nothing if they don't have a woman.

I think by reading this, every man should go MGTOW for a bit IMO - well, not EVERY man, but I think it's a good idea, even for me at this stage.

[grkBoy]

I think every man in this society gets to that point at one time or another.

 

The thing with a lot of those guys in that forum is that they can't completely get away from their exes. Many of them are stuck paying child support or alimony so the reminders are always there.

 

I knew that if I ever had to pay that and saw such a large amount of money taken out of my paycheck or pretty much no reason, I would be very angry too.

 

I feel for them...especially if they were betrayed by their past women.

 

Regardless...I also think many men need to not be pressured into marriage out of fear of losing someone. When I dated my fiancee, friends on her side and mine each brought up how I should have proposed after 6 months. I waited 3 years, and would have said goodbye if she hit me with a bling ultimatum.

 

I take marriage very seriously, and thus I felt the 3 years was enough time to see who this person really is. With other women I've known, you can see the qualities that should make a man say "NO FRICKIN WAY!" to marrying them.

 

 

I think by reading this, every man should go MGTOW for a bit IMO - well, not EVERY man, but I think it's a good idea, even for me at this stage.

 

I just think the guys having loads of trouble in dating should.

[grkBoy]

Have you been married before?

 

I'll find out what it's like on June 8

[Drseussgrrl]

May god have mercy on your soul.

 

Why do you despise women so much?

 

Do you deny that men as a whole are not without their issues that make dating them incredibly difficult? If you have some time I can give you lots of examples of "men" I've encountered over the past few years. Pure entertainment.

 

It goes both ways, dude. Are you just coming off a hard breakup or awful divorce? Are the women in your family leaving much to be desired? Just wondering what women you've been exposed to that leave you so bitter.

 

Not getting laid? Rejected left and right? Dumped for another dude?

 

My curiosity is piqued.

[Drseussgrrl]

He's in relationship.

 

I'm perfectly fine with rejection and not getting laid. I don't even mind getting dumped it's less drama and it's easier if she moves on to another guy.

 

If he was bitter he wouldn't have a girlfriend and getting laid. I should be the bitter one but I'm not.

 

If my "boyfriend" had such an attitude about women and marriage in general, he wouldn't have made it past the first date. Plus I suspect he's full of crap.

 

I seriously question the sanity of women who exclusively date men who bash women so brazenly.

 

Maybe he has a huge c*ck. If that's the case I suppose she's just reinforcing what he already suspects.

 

Match made in heaven. LOL

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Why do you despise women so much?

 

Do you deny that men as a whole are not without their issues that make dating them incredibly difficult? If you have some time I can give you lots of examples of "men" I've encountered over the past few years. Pure entertainment.

 

It goes both ways, dude. Are you just coming off a hard breakup or awful divorce? Are the women in your family leaving much to be desired? Just wondering what women you've been exposed to that leave you so bitter.

 

Not getting laid? Rejected left and right? Dumped for another dude?

 

My curiosity is piqued.

 

At the moment, I have a gf. I've never had trouble getting laid.

 

But in doing so, I've seen what women do and what they're capable of: the lies and the manipulation.

 

I've had women lie to me about having kids. Women have had sex with me, only to be interrupted by their husbands who were calling them on their cell. I've seen women lie to perfectly good guys and clean them out. I've seen women destroy men with long-term plans.

 

I've seen a lot. Men sometimes do messed up things to women, but it is nowhere near what women do to men.

 

Of course, I've had women be disrespectful to me. That's par for course if the guy approaches a lot.

 

I'm also STRONGLY against marriage because of how badly it's stacked up against men in the US. I also see many of the problems of today as a result of the feminist movement and emasculating of men.

 

I have many more reasons, but I think this sufficiently answers your question.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

If my "boyfriend" had such an attitude about women and marriage in general, he wouldn't have made it past the first date. Plus I suspect he's full of crap.

 

I seriously question the sanity of women who exclusively date men who bash women so brazenly.

 

Maybe he has a huge c*ck. If that's the case I suppose she's just reinforcing what he already suspects.

 

Match made in heaven. LOL

 

Believe what you want. I don't go around preaching about these things.

 

My gf (and no one else in my life, for that matter) knows my true feelings on things.

 

Except for my mother. She knows and agrees.

[Drseussgrrl]

At the moment, I have a gf. I've never had trouble getting laid.

 

But in doing so, I've seen what women do and what they're capable of: the lies and the manipulation.

 

I've had women lie to me about having kids. Women have had sex with me, only to be interrupted by their husbands who were calling them on their cell. I've seen women lie to perfectly good guys and clean them out. I've seen women destroy men with long-term plans.

 

I've seen a lot. Men sometimes do messed up things to women, but it is nowhere near what women do to men.

 

Of course, I've had women be disrespectful to me. That's par for course if the guy approaches a lot.

 

I'm also STRONGLY against marriage because of how badly it's stacked up against men in the US. I also see many of the problems of today as a result of the feminist movement and emasculating of men.

 

I have many more reasons, but I think this sufficiently answers your question.

 

My ex-fiance dumped me three months before our wedding for a family friend/wedding planner. We had lived together for three years, had a life together, were a part of each other's families, I supported him through grad school, his grandmother's passing - you name it.

 

I had to move out of our condo and move in with ROOMMATES at the age of 32 and start my life completely over, while he skipped off into the sunset with her as if I never existed. Losing him, canceling my wedding, feeling humiliated, discarded... not something I'd ever wish on anyone.

 

And yet - I would STILL never speak of men the way you speak of women. Strength of character and faith in myself, I suppose.

[ChessPieceFace]

Why do you despise women so much?

 

Do you deny that men as a whole are not without their issues that make dating them incredibly difficult? If you have some time I can give you lots of examples of "men" I've encountered over the past few years. Pure entertainment.

 

It goes both ways, dude. Are you just coming off a hard breakup or awful divorce? Are the women in your family leaving much to be desired? Just wondering what women you've been exposed to that leave you so bitter.

 

Not getting laid? Rejected left and right? Dumped for another dude?

 

My curiosity is piqued.

 

The issue isn't necessarily that modern western women as a whole are so much more poorly-behaved than men (though I firmly believe that to be the case in terms of issues like gender fairness and treatment of the opposite sex...) The issue with marriage is the man signing his future away to a "liberated" woman who, while she only PROBABLY reflects the morally-bankrupt "feminist values" which undermine the very definition of family and working relationships between men and women, she more importantly has the legal backing to ruin the man's life on a whim.

 

Why don't you explain to me why I should sign a piece of paper putting my entire future in the hands of someone else's whims? That's what the man is doing when he gets married in the western world. The woman isn't risking that unless she's rich (and in those cases the women often get prenups -- TOTAL HYPOCRISY.) Upon their likely divorce, the court is going to hand everything to the woman. Once a woman is dissatisfied in any way, she is free to discard the man and be supported financially by state-enforced child-support payments, if not outright alimony if the man has any wealth at all.

 

No-fault divorce and child-support enslavement isn't the future I want for myself. Much rather wank it to internet porno than suffer that fate. Maybe one day I will sign my life and future over to a woman, but she would have to be an exceptional woman for me to do so.

Edited May 13, 2013 by ChessPieceFace

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

The issue isn't necessarily that modern western women as a whole are so much more poorly-behaved than men (though I firmly believe that to be the case in terms of issues like gender fairness and treatment of the opposite sex...) The issue with marriage is the man signing his future away to a "liberated" woman who, while she only PROBABLY reflects the morally-bankrupt "feminist values" which undermine the very definition of family and working relationships between men and women, she more importantly has the legal backing to ruin the man's life on a whim.

 

Why don't you explain to me why I should sign a piece of paper putting my entire future in the hands of someone else's whims? That's what the man is doing when he gets married in the western world. The woman isn't risking that unless she's rich (and in those cases the women often get prenups -- TOTAL HYPOCRISY.) Upon their likely divorce, the court is going to hand everything to the woman. Once a woman is dissatisfied in any way, she is free to discard the man and be supported financially by state-enforced child-support payments, if not outright alimony if the man has any wealth at all.

 

No-fault divorce and child-support enslavement isn't the future I want for myself. Much rather wank it to internet porno than suffer that fate. Maybe one day I will sign my life and future over to a woman, but she would have to be an exceptional woman for me to do so.

 

Said much better than I could ever say.

[CptSaveAho]

simple solution to MGTOW

 

dont date/get engaged/marry LOSERS because you can't be alone and can't take off the rose tinted glasses and see a relationship for what it really is.

 

most people including those in MGTOW wont own up to dating/marrying a loser in the first place and see they are just as responsible for putting themselves in that situation and avoiding/ignoring the red flags in their relationships

 

The idea behind it and the phases of it are what people should be doing anyways after any sort of long term relationship... readjusting and refocusing on yourself.... they have just taken it to the EXTREME... male version of feminism

[ChessPieceFace]

Said much better than I could ever say.

 

Yeah, sometimes I impress myself.

 

But seriously, I think I was able to so clearly express that since I've been watching "girlwriteswhat" on youtube. You should check her out, if you haven't seen me mention it already. I agree with probably 95% of what she says (occasionally she spins things a bit too far and focuses a bit too much on other youtube users / responses.) But much of what she has to say provides an amazing clarity to cut through all of the feminist BS and lies. A female voice standing up for men in a man-hating world, expressing things we've been silent about, or maybe never even consciously realized.