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GOD, CHURCH, RELIGION- Does it Matter In Dating, Mate Choosing & Sustaining Relation


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 28th March 2013, 5:51 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by richwhitegirlsingle View Post
would you change your religious values if it would help your date or is confident where you are
I seriously doubt that I could even if I wanted to. I have strong feelings about my lack of faith, so wouldn't seek out someone who was "religious" in the first place. RELIGION is among the top 5 considerations that people entertain in regards to relationships. It can eventually be an extremely contentious point if both are not on the same or very similar page.

I always let my dates know very early about my religious preferences and practices so that there is no misunderstanding as things move forward.

I've come a long way in my religious journey. Began as an atheist, then agnostic, then conservatively religious to now, very suspicious/skeptical of the religious community and the institution.

I simply try to keep it simpler by dating ladies who beliefs are in line with my own.
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Old 28th March 2013, 6:38 PM   #17
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Im an atheist and prefer one. However I would be open to a religious person so long as they arent judgmental of my beliefs, nor are judgmental of the lifestyles and religions of others.

And this includes abortion and gay rights. Im very liberal about those issues...so a religious person with conservative views regarding those things would not work.
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Old 28th March 2013, 7:19 PM   #18
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I will just say it like it is.

I don't give two craps about religion.

I may be labeled as a Christian because I was born in a Christian-based family but I avoid church since it is just a very boring activity and I don't need a "pastor" to tell me what I need to know religion-wise esp. since the church system is just another avenue to get rich these days. I may one day just read the Bible just because I'm curious but, other than that, I have way too many questions and no actual answers for me to give myself up to any religion. Unless someone shows me cold, hard proof for why they side by their religion, I'm not going to believe them at all.

Outside of that, I don't care at all what each religion means and anyone, male or female, who tries to push their religion on me, including Christianity, is automatically deemed as an personal enemy.

If you believe in religion, great, and I have no issues dating a woman of any religion. Just don't tell me about it. I don't care.....at all.
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Old 28th March 2013, 7:53 PM   #19
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Doesn't mean anything at all in terms of mate selection. A "Christian" girl would pick a good looking, tall/muscular, confident and exciting Athiest man over a short, insecure/needy, boring, "average joe" Christian man every single time...And the same goes for men in picking women. The "Christian" man will pick the hotter women everytime regardless of her faith compared to the less attractive Christian one.

I'm an atheist myself and as far as morality is concerned I just try to not do anything to others that I wouldn't want done to me....So I consider myself a decent moralistic person.

Obviously there are some people that have no morality and don't have a problem harming/stealing/killing etc etc etc...Unfortunately these people (both men and women) exist.
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Old 28th March 2013, 7:55 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by richwhitegirlsingle View Post
would you change your religious values if it would help your date or is confident where you are
You could change or try to change any number of things about yourself in order to find date. It would be easier to just find someone with the same beliefs and values as yourself.

Especially if you are seeking long term, most people want someone in the same zip code at least, so to speak, when it comes to background and heritage. That helps a lot when it comes to decisions about lifestyle, raising a family, blending families, etc.
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Old 28th March 2013, 8:46 PM   #21
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I am not a spiritual person. Although I do have a very different out look on the definition. Honestly, I think everyone fears divorce. Not just people who believe it is wrong because God said so. And if we're talking about Christianity alone(since everyone seems to be directly/indirectly referring to it), divorce and remarriage isn't necessarily a sin according to Jesus(under one circumstance).

When it comes to dating you want someone who believes in the same things you do. And you have to understand that people have strong faiths in God, Allah, and other deities from religions we haven't mention in this topic. You might find "religious" people who aren't well grounded in their faith. But there are people who live very spiritual lives and believe their Truth is the one and final truth. It's not just something they do on Sunday but it's apart of their everyday life. And for them, maybe it makes things better. So why wouldn't they want someone who believes in something similar?

You might think that giving 10% of your paycheck to a church is a scam. While the woman or man you're dating honestly believes that an omnipotent being is going to bless them for doing so.

My parents are Christians, my best friend's parents are Buddhist. They incorporate their beliefs in everything they do. They created a very strong faith-base system in their relationships which they honestly believe improves their marriages.

I think questions like this just don't apply to religion either.

Last edited by NeoGen85; 28th March 2013 at 8:49 PM..
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Old 28th March 2013, 8:52 PM   #22
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You could change or try to change any number of things about yourself in order to find date. It would be easier to just find someone with the same beliefs and values as yourself.

Especially if you are seeking long term, most people want someone in the same zip code at least, so to speak, when it comes to background and heritage. That helps a lot when it comes to decisions about lifestyle, raising a family, blending families, etc.
Exactly. And sometimes people change their mind because love can truly open people's hearts. Still, it's good to have those core values in common.
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Old 29th March 2013, 12:19 PM   #23
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well, relationship morals, values, and ethics must come from somewhere. many thinks its religion and god, while others think its evolution. i do not think relationships evolve and mates change. they are pretty much static and unchanging. Many think money, gifts, improving weight and looking sexier, going out to eat and dinner, and other incentives will make it all work out. But this is not necessarily the case.

many oppose god and religion because it puts too many restrictions on dating
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Old 29th March 2013, 12:44 PM   #24
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well, relationship morals, values, and ethics must come from somewhere. many thinks its religion and god, while others think its evolution. i do not think relationships evolve and mates change. they are pretty much static and unchanging. Many think money, gifts, improving weight and looking sexier, going out to eat and dinner, and other incentives will make it all work out. But this is not necessarily the case.

many oppose god and religion because it puts too many restrictions on dating
I oppose religion because it makes no logical or intellectual sense and has historically been a means of controlling people.

With that said I couldn't date a religious person.
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Old 29th March 2013, 3:46 PM   #25
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I oppose religion because it makes no logical or intellectual sense and has historically been a means of controlling people.

With that said I couldn't date a religious person.

Agreed except I wouldn't care if it "historically had been a means of controlling people" if I thought it was actually true... Like if on page 20 of the bible Jesus started talking about electricity and micro-organisms or something that was literally impossible to know about during that time period unless he really was God/had divine interaction.

I'm a nihilist myself and only reject all religions/faiths/spirtualities because I think they don't make any sense logically...If I thought they did than I would accept them...even if I disagreed with some of the contents (like being against gay marriage when I support it etc)

As for the "where do you get morality" comment...Well first off not everyone has morality or a moral compass. Thankfully (for the sake of our species) most people do (and yes I do believe it comes innately) but there are people who has no morality whatsoever....
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Old 29th March 2013, 3:55 PM   #26
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Agreed except I wouldn't care if it "historically had been a means of controlling people" if I thought it was actually true... Like if on page 20 of the bible Jesus started talking about electricity and micro-organisms or something that was literally impossible to know about during that time period unless he really was God/had divine interaction.

I'm a nihilist myself and only reject all religions/faiths/spirtualities because I think they don't make any sense logically...If I thought they did than I would accept them...even if I disagreed with some of the contents (like being against gay marriage when I support it etc)

As for the "where do you get morality" comment...Well first off not everyone has morality or a moral compass. Thankfully (for the sake of our species) most people do (and yes I do believe it comes innately) but there are people who has no morality whatsoever....
Being religious doesn't make you a moral person. My brother is extremely religious and recently went to jail for beating on his wife and her kid.
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Old 29th March 2013, 7:22 PM   #27
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Being religious doesn't make you a moral person. My brother is extremely religious and recently went to jail for beating on his wife and her kid.
Yes of course (like I said I'm an atheist/nihilist who believes that morality is biologically innate for most and nonexistent for a small few)

Literally nothing changed in my personal moral code when I became an atheist at the beginning of college. In fact if anything I became slightly more moral...As I became more accepting of others etc. I think most others are the same way.

I was just saying that the only thing that made me an atheist was that logically religion doesn't add up. If their was strong evidence for it being true I would believe it regardless of whether it was used to manipulate people or if I didn't agree with the teachings. I approached religion from only one perspective....is it likely to be true or not. Everything else was irrelevant to me.

Last edited by footballfan10; 29th March 2013 at 7:26 PM..
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Old 29th March 2013, 8:05 PM   #28
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well 2 women and men can be together in a relationship But if sex is a big part of the formula, THE SINS AGAINST THE BIBLE or any religion is huge. no religion accepts sexual penetration between same sex and most LGBT won't sustain without it. thus, they can be religious, but I am not sure what way. Thus, these groups are complaining of their relationship rights be taken away by those who feel religion comes first in dating and should be out abive their dating interests
To the bolded. They can be much like people who are here posting....they take from it what is helpful and "rings" true to them and discard the rest.

Religion is a funny thing. People can get caught up in the rituals and forget that it is the "sins" they really need to address. For instance, a married woman who is "Catholic" is making plans with her "lover" for dinner and insists on "fish" because it's Friday. Meanwhile meeting her "lover" can, in essense, make her world crumble and devastate A LOT of innocent people. Hmm...
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Old 30th March 2013, 12:46 AM   #29
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FIrstly, whatever one's faith is growing up (if one existed at all), shapes the person for who they are today. Whether they are practicing or not, it does make a major difference in who you are.

Second, there is a difference between being religious and being zealous. Would anyone be comfortable seeing a person who is screaming on soapbox on a street corner, let alone sitting across the dinner table from them? Those people are zealous, and to them religion is what they are passionate about. These people are psychos.

All that aside, there are two kinds of faith for the "layfolk" : kindergarden faith and spirituality. What are they? Kindergarden faith is a person who feels guilt and remorse over the smallest things, use their religious beliefs to justify their bad behaviors, and like to think that they are better than others because of their wisdom. Years ago, I was with this man who was a devout Catholic. He felt guilt about the smallest things, it was almost ridiculous. He had an obsessive love for a former girlfriend (which he didn't mind sharing with me), and felt extreme guilt about having sex. We had a terrible falling out (via email I might add because he was too chicken to call and tell me this on the phone) when I said it was high time that he came to my city to see me (we were LTR) after a year of being together. He said he would forever be in mourning over the other girlfriend, he is a terrible person, and he was then going to become a priest. I found him on Facebook a while ago. He has been married for the last 10 years to some other woman he met after me. Needless to say, he was/is a hypocritical p****. Ask him what he thinks? I guess he has an answer for that, just as long as he stays away from me.

Sorry about the rant on that one, but he opened my eyes to how others tend to use religion as their crutch or excuse as their behaviors. Since then, I have given up on religious people and what it's all about to them. I am in the secular world, and rather happy going moment to moment without worrying about what would Jesus do or some nonsense like that.
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Old 30th March 2013, 6:59 AM   #30
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It doesn't matter, I"m a Christian man, but not an overly zealous one. There was this one woman in my church, attractive, probably the ONLY single lady in the church.....well, I've known this because I've seen her dating profile, and attmepted to ask her to lunch after church, only to have her tell me our age differences were to great (by only 5 years, yeah right lol)

Recently, I saw her at an art festival and approached her to say hello.....talk about complete Ice Witch. lol....Hadnt seen her in a while at church so, she gives gave me short, curt answers...then some scumbaggy looking Hobo guy shows up next to her, puts his hand on her waist and gives me a dirty look.

She's dated non-Christians before, I met most women who have....Christians even date people of a secular background, because their attraction to them outweighs any Christian beliefs they already have.



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Originally Posted by richwhitegirlsingle View Post
ok, god, religion, and church. many people say you have to have come relationship, but this has been proven wrong with the LGBT and many mates doing well without such.

I going to be brief and wonder, does god, religion, and church matter in dating or would you go with one that was educated, high income, sexy and attractive, great personality and nice, and everything else but not into this
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