Originally Posted by Serendipity1122
Supposedly, he'll stare, initiate physical contact, try to make you laugh or impress you, ask personal questions, remember random bits of conversation and information about you. Or he'll value your opinion, open up about his personal life/past, etc. Wanting to spend more time together seems like it could be a good indicator. And just talking to you a lot and caring about what happens to you. But the problem is friends do that as well...
I've also heard that players and habitual flirts can be forward and give the signs mentioned above without ever truly having feelings for you. Will guys go to these extents just to get into someone's pants? Then how can you most accurately tell whether a guy truly likes you (without actually asking you out)?
Ah, so you've found the friend v.s. romantic interest conundrum!
I will have to disect a few of them in this answer.
If a person stares at you for over a certain amount of time, it almost always indicates attraction. When I say stare, I mean straight in the eyes for over 4 seconds. You can't do that comfortably with most people, they will look away. One exception I guess is someone who was raised to "look people in the eye", I've known one guy who did that. And it was mildly unnerving, though the intentions were pure. Also, they will not just stare into your eyes when you're looking- you will catch them sneaking looks at you when you're not looking back at them! Often they will then look away quickly as if it didn't happen, hiding their intentions from you. A friend will probably not be frightened of catching you looking, because they will be looking for a set reason, like, "Hey, you have lint in your hair".
Impress you- sure friends try to impress you, but a guy who likes you will do so overboard. Like a guy friend may say "Check out these guns!" and you can joke about it with him. But someone you're interested in may say something like, "Yeah, I've benched ____ before, no big deal..." and then wait for you to respond. He may even be DISAPPOINTED if you don't. So he's looking for your approval, and a friend doesn't always try so hard for that.
Trying to make you laugh- A friend will want to laugh with you, sure. But some guys will try a little too hard. And if you laugh at something that isn't remotely funny, it will flatter them. Really, they may try to even do it again. They will try to make you laugh even if it means making a fool out of themselves. Guys can be fools in love.
Personal questions: Sure a friend will ask these. BUT friends do not generally ask, "Are you seeing anyone?" "Are you currently dating anyone?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" THOSE are specifically interest-based questions. Anything asking if you are single, especially out of the blue, is someone with a romantic interest in you. Also, friends may not care about certain things, while romantic interests will focus in on them like they're the most important questions ever. Like a friend generally doesn't ask what makes you sad randomly, or what your favorite foods are, or... you'll be asked these little details and it'll be like "Really? This is boring to me", but it's the type of things you want to know when you want to impress someone with that info, like if he suddenly gives you your favorite candy. It's that sort of special focus and effort that sets apart most friends from romantic interests.
Physically... okay, guys like to touch girls. That's no secret. They get handsy sometimes, and it's their way of showing affection. But generally, a romantic interest is a little more concerned about how he touches you. He may gently brush his hand up against yours and make it seem like an accident, or he might take ANY excuse to touch your arm, shoulder, face.... oh face is a big one. Unless he is pinching your cheeks or something, when a guy focuses in on your face with gentle touches and caresses, he is probably interested in you romantically. Anything he probably wouldn't do to "one of the guys", it's a sign that he is into you, like brushing the hair out of your eyes with a smile on his face.
Aaaaand finally.... YES, some guys will "play the right notes" just to get into a girl's pants. Generally, these are good indicators as to how he will treat you:
- If he treats his mother and sisters with respect, it is a good indicator that he will also respect you.
- If he treats his girl friends well, it may mean he will treat you as a person too.
- If he sleeps around, it's generally an indicator that you're no different from all of those other girls, and may be "charmed" for sexual purposes.
- If he is too handsy from the start, has a wandering hand, it may mean that he is only after one thing.
- If he tries to get physical with you before even getting to know you and establish an emotional bond, he is probably just after your lady bits.
- If he focuses more on your eyes than he does the rest of your body, that is a sign that he is interested in YOU as a person, not just your bits n pieces.
SO... clearest overall signs that he is into you:
- Meeting his family will be a big deal to him, may not happen right away. With a friend's family it's like Hey, come on over! Not so much with potential loves.
- He will ask even things that generally no one else would be interested in hearing.
- He will probably take every opportunity he can to be where you are and/or compliment you.
- He may seem very nervous around you
- BODY LANGUAGE: We do certain things without realizing it when we like people.
- He will ask you if you are single/seeing anyone/dating/available!
The eyebrow flash- when you first set your sight on someone you like, you will probably do a quick up and down of your eyebrows. This is automatic, we don't realize we're doing it when we do it. We do it to take more in of the attractive person. If you are quick enough to CATCH someone doing this, it is a sure sign of attraction!
Body will be pointed towards you- even among other friends, his feet will point towards you, and his eyes may also flicker to you to see what you think of whatever he is saying- he is looking for your approval above that of others.
His lips will be slightly parted when you're with him. He will also lick his lips often, as our mouths are producing extra saliva when we set our eyes on something nice.
He will look to YOUR lips. Another sure sign of attraction here, his eyes will move to your lips when you're talking. Could indicate that he is thinking about what it would be like to kiss you, some people say that.
Grooming: unless he is headed for a big meeting or something, he will be grooming himself like a bird. He will subconsciously be making himself look nice to you and trying to get your attention on certain features. Like he will run his fingers through his hair, fiddle with his clothes. Straightening his socks is supposedly a foolproof sign, I find this kinda funny and old-fashioned sounding.
Face touching: He will touch his own face a lot, maybe do gentle little motions or rubbing something on himself slowly, like his own leg or arm. We often do these things to relieve the feeling of wanting to do it on the other person. Not foolproof, but if he touches his face a lot (unless he has a proud man-stache), it could be a good indicator for attraction.