LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

What are the clearest signs a guy is genuinely into you?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree6Likes
  • 1 Post By Elswyth
  • 2 Post By carhill
  • 1 Post By Ninjainpajamas
  • 1 Post By LittlePrince
  • 1 Post By HeldbyGravity
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 9th October 2012, 3:23 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 19
What are the clearest signs a guy is genuinely into you?

Supposedly, he'll stare, initiate physical contact, try to make you laugh or impress you, ask personal questions, remember random bits of conversation and information about you. Or he'll value your opinion, open up about his personal life/past, etc. Wanting to spend more time together seems like it could be a good indicator. And just talking to you a lot and caring about what happens to you. But the problem is friends do that as well...

I've also heard that players and habitual flirts can be forward and give the signs mentioned above without ever truly having feelings for you. Will guys go to these extents just to get into someone's pants? Then how can you most accurately tell whether a guy truly likes you (without actually asking you out)?
Serendipity1122 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:24 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 18,593
For me, it is when he is willing to go above and beyond what friends are willing to do, just to make me happy.
__________________
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:27 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Male, 55, in Sunny Cali
Posts: 35,162
Journal Entries: 38
Quote:
Supposedly, he'll stare, initiate physical contact, try to make you laugh or impress you, ask personal questions, remember random bits of conversation and information about you. Or he'll value your opinion, open up about his personal life/past, etc.
Yes, and over time without regard to or focused upon getting laid.
carhill is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:30 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity1122 View Post
Supposedly, he'll stare, initiate physical contact, try to make you laugh or impress you, ask personal questions, remember random bits of conversation and information about you. Or he'll value your opinion, open up about his personal life/past, etc. Wanting to spend more time together seems like it could be a good indicator. And just talking to you a lot and caring about what happens to you. But the problem is friends do that as well...

I've also heard that players and habitual flirts can be forward and give the signs mentioned above without ever truly having feelings for you. Will guys go to these extents just to get into someone's pants? Then how can you most accurately tell whether a guy truly likes you (without actually asking you out)?
Have sex with him. If he doesn't want to then he doesn't like you. If he doesn't stay then he was a player. If he does stay after a month then he probably likes you.
LittlePrince is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:46 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 3,362
A man will go through any extent and cross any boundaries to get into your pants, especially IF it's a challenge.

Players (although I think It's a bit of an overstatement for the majority of these guys) will be charming, always say and do the right things...know when and how to put on the pressure.

But detecting a good "player" is like watching an infomercial or get rich easy scam...If It sounds too good to be true, it probably is!

A guy who's genuinely interested in you will be a bit nervous, infatuated, a little aloof or timid in some ways, communicative, expressive, open and doesn't appear to be hiding anything at all. A mans most valuable commodity is not his car, his home or his income...for a man that hardest thing to spend is time. And If he isn't getting what he wants or something out of it (like sex) then he's got to be at least motivated, most guys will tap out after a short time If they don't get what they want...with players time is money sort of speak, or time is vagina, no vagina = waste of time. And they pride themselves on how many women and how easily they swoon them and get them to put out.

A guy will also be more interested about you than normally, It will be noticeable...It's not subtle or confusing like so many women think it's supposed to be. However when a guy really likes you and wants to get to know you it should be hard for him, If he's all confident and cool then he thinks he can get you under his thumb.

It's hard to tell for women until they're with a guy truly is interested in them, problem is those guys end up being the "nice guys" and not enough backbone, where the player/jerk has the edge because he's a bit of a jerk and could give a crap...but he's not that way until the relationship, just remember any guy can be anything he wants in the beginning...that's the easy part, time always reveals the truth about a man, so always make sure you take your time and get to know them or you'll not see through it, and If you have sex early on then he a player automatically wins and It's up to him to have his way with you or not.
__________________
Men are only going to treat you with the respect you demand, not what you deserve.


Ninjainpajamas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:47 PM   #6
Established Member
 
oaks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 3,707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity1122 View Post
Then how can you most accurately tell whether a guy truly likes you (without actually asking you out)?
Are you talking about someone specific who hasn't asked you out yet? Why don't you ask him out?
oaks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:49 PM   #7
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,562
Quote:
Originally Posted by oaks View Post
Are you talking about someone specific who hasn't asked you out yet? Why don't you ask him out?
and use all of the techniques we have taught you like putting pressure on him until he gives in.
LittlePrince is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:58 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 480
pay attention to how he acts around people he's obviously not trying to ****, and then compare that to how he acts around you.
CptObvious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 3:59 PM   #9
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittlePrince View Post
Have sex with him. If he doesn't want to then he doesn't like you. If he doesn't stay then he was a player. If he does stay after a month then he probably likes you.
But what if the sex is good and that's the only reason he's staying? =P
Serendipity1122 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 4:02 PM   #10
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by oaks View Post
Are you talking about someone specific who hasn't asked you out yet? Why don't you ask him out?
Not exactly, this was a more general question I was curious about while thinking about my past and current experiences with guys. Just musing. Darn I'm getting old...
Serendipity1122 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 4:03 PM   #11
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity1122 View Post
But what if the sex is good and that's the only reason he's staying? =P
No sex is so good that it will cause a player to stay forever.
LittlePrince is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th October 2012, 4:18 PM   #12
Established Member
 
HeldbyGravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Here...
Posts: 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity1122 View Post
Supposedly, he'll stare, initiate physical contact, try to make you laugh or impress you, ask personal questions, remember random bits of conversation and information about you. Or he'll value your opinion, open up about his personal life/past, etc. Wanting to spend more time together seems like it could be a good indicator. And just talking to you a lot and caring about what happens to you. But the problem is friends do that as well...

I've also heard that players and habitual flirts can be forward and give the signs mentioned above without ever truly having feelings for you. Will guys go to these extents just to get into someone's pants? Then how can you most accurately tell whether a guy truly likes you (without actually asking you out)?
Ah, so you've found the friend v.s. romantic interest conundrum!

I will have to disect a few of them in this answer.

If a person stares at you for over a certain amount of time, it almost always indicates attraction. When I say stare, I mean straight in the eyes for over 4 seconds. You can't do that comfortably with most people, they will look away. One exception I guess is someone who was raised to "look people in the eye", I've known one guy who did that. And it was mildly unnerving, though the intentions were pure. Also, they will not just stare into your eyes when you're looking- you will catch them sneaking looks at you when you're not looking back at them! Often they will then look away quickly as if it didn't happen, hiding their intentions from you. A friend will probably not be frightened of catching you looking, because they will be looking for a set reason, like, "Hey, you have lint in your hair".

Impress you- sure friends try to impress you, but a guy who likes you will do so overboard. Like a guy friend may say "Check out these guns!" and you can joke about it with him. But someone you're interested in may say something like, "Yeah, I've benched ____ before, no big deal..." and then wait for you to respond. He may even be DISAPPOINTED if you don't. So he's looking for your approval, and a friend doesn't always try so hard for that.

Trying to make you laugh- A friend will want to laugh with you, sure. But some guys will try a little too hard. And if you laugh at something that isn't remotely funny, it will flatter them. Really, they may try to even do it again. They will try to make you laugh even if it means making a fool out of themselves. Guys can be fools in love.

Personal questions: Sure a friend will ask these. BUT friends do not generally ask, "Are you seeing anyone?" "Are you currently dating anyone?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" THOSE are specifically interest-based questions. Anything asking if you are single, especially out of the blue, is someone with a romantic interest in you. Also, friends may not care about certain things, while romantic interests will focus in on them like they're the most important questions ever. Like a friend generally doesn't ask what makes you sad randomly, or what your favorite foods are, or... you'll be asked these little details and it'll be like "Really? This is boring to me", but it's the type of things you want to know when you want to impress someone with that info, like if he suddenly gives you your favorite candy. It's that sort of special focus and effort that sets apart most friends from romantic interests.

Physically... okay, guys like to touch girls. That's no secret. They get handsy sometimes, and it's their way of showing affection. But generally, a romantic interest is a little more concerned about how he touches you. He may gently brush his hand up against yours and make it seem like an accident, or he might take ANY excuse to touch your arm, shoulder, face.... oh face is a big one. Unless he is pinching your cheeks or something, when a guy focuses in on your face with gentle touches and caresses, he is probably interested in you romantically. Anything he probably wouldn't do to "one of the guys", it's a sign that he is into you, like brushing the hair out of your eyes with a smile on his face.

Aaaaand finally.... YES, some guys will "play the right notes" just to get into a girl's pants. Generally, these are good indicators as to how he will treat you:

- If he treats his mother and sisters with respect, it is a good indicator that he will also respect you.
- If he treats his girl friends well, it may mean he will treat you as a person too.
- If he sleeps around, it's generally an indicator that you're no different from all of those other girls, and may be "charmed" for sexual purposes.
- If he is too handsy from the start, has a wandering hand, it may mean that he is only after one thing.
- If he tries to get physical with you before even getting to know you and establish an emotional bond, he is probably just after your lady bits.
- If he focuses more on your eyes than he does the rest of your body, that is a sign that he is interested in YOU as a person, not just your bits n pieces.


SO... clearest overall signs that he is into you:

- Meeting his family will be a big deal to him, may not happen right away. With a friend's family it's like Hey, come on over! Not so much with potential loves.
- He will ask even things that generally no one else would be interested in hearing.
- He will probably take every opportunity he can to be where you are and/or compliment you.
- He may seem very nervous around you
- BODY LANGUAGE: We do certain things without realizing it when we like people.
- He will ask you if you are single/seeing anyone/dating/available!

The eyebrow flash- when you first set your sight on someone you like, you will probably do a quick up and down of your eyebrows. This is automatic, we don't realize we're doing it when we do it. We do it to take more in of the attractive person. If you are quick enough to CATCH someone doing this, it is a sure sign of attraction!

Body will be pointed towards you- even among other friends, his feet will point towards you, and his eyes may also flicker to you to see what you think of whatever he is saying- he is looking for your approval above that of others.

His lips will be slightly parted when you're with him. He will also lick his lips often, as our mouths are producing extra saliva when we set our eyes on something nice.

He will look to YOUR lips. Another sure sign of attraction here, his eyes will move to your lips when you're talking. Could indicate that he is thinking about what it would be like to kiss you, some people say that.

Grooming: unless he is headed for a big meeting or something, he will be grooming himself like a bird. He will subconsciously be making himself look nice to you and trying to get your attention on certain features. Like he will run his fingers through his hair, fiddle with his clothes. Straightening his socks is supposedly a foolproof sign, I find this kinda funny and old-fashioned sounding.

Face touching: He will touch his own face a lot, maybe do gentle little motions or rubbing something on himself slowly, like his own leg or arm. We often do these things to relieve the feeling of wanting to do it on the other person. Not foolproof, but if he touches his face a lot (unless he has a proud man-stache), it could be a good indicator for attraction.

Last edited by HeldbyGravity; 9th October 2012 at 4:38 PM.. Reason: I was adding more. I may add more as needed :P
HeldbyGravity is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
does she genuinely like me? picaso28 In Search Of... 1 19th September 2012 9:31 PM
What if the Ex was genuinely sorry? Kraznapolsky Breaks and Breaking Up 1 4th October 2011 10:43 AM
Is my EX using me or does he genuinely like me still? jettison Breaks and Breaking Up 0 10th July 2011 10:00 AM
Being a smart*ss or genuinely want to .... orangelady General Relationship Discussion 1 18th April 2011 2:13 PM
How do you know someone's genuinely single?? whitburn1986 Dating 15 20th January 2009 2:00 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:05 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.