why does she do this? input appreciated!!!!

[Stilicho]

so, recently i began dating a girl that i had been flirting with for awhile. She gave me her number without me even asking, and i called her and set up our first date, which went great, kissed, laughed, everything. we set up another date 3 days later, which went great as well, and each day in between, she contacted me through text or call, and vice versa(more so her). we last went out this past sunday, and had probably our best date so far, went to the city, had dinner, walked and talked for hours. at the end of the night we kissed and she said she couldnt wait to see me again. so yesterday goes by, and i dont text her or call her as to not seem desperate, but today i texted her to see how she was doing, she responds, but an hour later, i text back, we go back and forth a bit with normal texts, than she does the long wait thing again, which is something she has done before with me over the weekend.

 

when the girl, who by all accounts seems to be into me greatly, takes so long to text back, even when she initiates, what does it mean? has she lost interest? is she trying to not seem desperate?

 

it stinks, bc i really like this girl, and i hate the ambiguity of it all.

[D-Lish]

so, recently i began dating a girl that i had been flirting with for awhile. She gave me her number without me even asking, and i called her and set up our first date, which went great, kissed, laughed, everything. we set up another date 3 days later, which went great as well, and each day in between, she contacted me through text or call, and vice versa(more so her). we last went out this past sunday, and had probably our best date so far, went to the city, had dinner, walked and talked for hours. at the end of the night we kissed and she said she couldnt wait to see me again. so yesterday goes by, and i dont text her or call her as to not seem desperate, but today i texted her to see how she was doing, she responds, but an hour later, i text back, we go back and forth a bit with normal texts, than she does the long wait thing again, which is something she has done before with me over the weekend.

 

when the girl, who by all accounts seems to be into me greatly, takes so long to text back, even when she initiates, what does it mean? has she lost interest? is she trying to not seem desperate?

 

it stinks, bc i really like this girl, and i hate the ambiguity of it all.

 

I think it's clear that when you waited a day to get back to her after your date, you set a pace for the relationship. You may not have wanted to seem desperate, but you were already sort of "dating", so you were past that stage. If you had a great date, then didn't say anything the next day, you essentially sent the message that a) it wasn't a great date b) that you're not 100% interested.

 

Texting her the next day to say you had a good time would not have seemed desperate, it would have been the right thing to do in this situation.

 

I think she's pulling away a little bit because you sent her a mixed message with a great date and then silence afterward.

 

She probably likes you too, but doesn't know what to make of you waiting so long to contact her after your great date.

[Stilicho]

so, in that case, how can i rectify the situation? should i wait for her to contact me? or should i try to call her or something tomorrow?

[D-Lish]

so, in that case, how can i rectify the situation? should i wait for her to contact me? or should i try to call her or something tomorrow?

 

You haven't ruined anything- just take it back to the level of contact you guys had before.

 

Text her you've been thinking about how hot she looked on your last date or something along those lines.

 

During those 24 hours after the date that you didn't contact her she was probably coming up with all these reasons to stress about.

 

The beginning stages of dating are really tough- no one knows what the other is thinking, and it can stress people out.

[ascendotum]

good post from DL. Only 2 things I wanted to say was..Just like you are worrying about txt timing protocol and the interpretations that can be construed from the timing/frequency, she also may be doing the same (in this instance), and she may be just having to check herself from being too available.

[The beginning stages of dating are really tough- no one knows what the other is thinking, and it can stress people out.]

 

Yep and communication via a handful of text of limited lenghth as opposed to voice conversation doesn't help this, IMO.

[Carm]

You haven't ruined anything- just take it back to the level of contact you guys had before.

 

Text her you've been thinking about how hot she looked on your last date or something along those lines.

 

If some guy sent me a text about how "hot" I looked after only date 2 or 3.....I'd mark that as a red flag. Telling me how hot I look too early would not be cool with me. Be careful of being too forward too fast.