Do women prefer a man to be a charity case, or...

[Mr. Rooks]

Newbie here, I have a dating question/concern. Women when you meet man that asks you out, and you go out and have a wonderful time. After 2 or 3 dates you if don’t see any glaring issues or anything you feel compelled to fix. Does this cause you to naturally lose attraction to the guy? I’m curious, I get to go on these amazing dates then 3 to 4 weeks the communication becomes one sided and she’s gone. Then about 6 months to a year goes by I'll see her again somewhere and like clockwork they all say the same thing to me. “I wasn’t in a place to really appreciate you or what you’re about or something like that.” This isn’t one or 2 dates this is years so either I’m not communicating effectively or maturity has lost its appeal? Idk…On the surface it’s easy to say no exactly thats what women want... but please give it some thought.

[veggirl]

No way. Women (or men) who want Fixer Uppers have emotional issues they need to work on themselves and are likely pretty immature. A mature person would appreciate a "together" partner.

[youngskywalker]

Well, I'm a guy and I've done the 3-4 dates and lost interest. Then six months later I bump into her again and I'll be like hey, I'd love to go out sometime. Normally they say no.

 

Then I think to myself what the heck was I thinking not giving that girl a chance!!! I don't know, it's typical I think and I've had to happen both ways to me. I don't think it's a matter of charity case or not.

[deebeechrisyo]

Are you getting physical at all on these dates? I'd like to know what you consider to be amazing.

[Mr. Rooks]

Are you getting physical at all on these dates? I'd like to know what you consider to be amazing.

 

 

Naw high school stuff as far as physical, but going to a NBA game or 6 flags just goofing off and having fun. Sex too soon is cool but then it's like. do you like cheese in your eggs or do you have a home?

[Mr. Rooks]

Well, I'm a guy and I've done the 3-4 dates and lost interest. Then six months later I bump into her again and I'll be like hey, I'd love to go out sometime. Normally they say no.

 

Then I think to myself what the heck was I thinking not giving that girl a chance!!! I don't know, it's typical I think and I've had to happen both ways to me. I don't think it's a matter of charity case or not.

 

I get you. Where the charity case comes is a good buddy of mine. I love em to death, but completely unmotivated character. Almost gets evicted every month. He's always got a lady trying to direct his path with. I used to get jealous but that didn't make any sense.

 

In doing my thing, it's like I'm meeting women we go out a few times and poof she's gone. Now I've analyzed and analyzed myself to death. I can't do that cause it kills my confidence worrying about every thing I say. My goal is to have fun, it feels genuine. Meet up around 8 at Starbucks or something 1st date. Then end up grabbing a desert somewhere and before we know it, it's 11:30 then it's takes a half our to say goodbye. Rinse repeat, different activities and the 2 to 3 weeks later. Poof!

 

I seriously don't know it could be me, it could be her, it could be the moon, it could be the universe. Who the F knows.

[youngskywalker]

I get you. Where the charity case comes is a good buddy of mine. I love em to death, but completely unmotivated character. Almost gets evicted every month. He's always got a lady trying to direct his path with. I used to get jealous but that didn't make any sense.

 

In doing my thing, it's like I'm meeting women we go out a few times and poof she's gone. Now I've analyzed and analyzed myself to death. I can't do that cause it kills my confidence worrying about every thing I say. My goal is to have fun, it feels genuine. Meet up around 8 at Starbucks or something 1st date. Then end up grabbing a desert somewhere and before we know it, it's 11:30 then it's takes a half our to say goodbye. Rinse repeat, different activities and the 2 to 3 weeks later. Poof!

 

I seriously don't know it could be me, it could be her, it could be the moon, it could be the universe. Who the F knows.

 

Wow, and I thought I was the only one with this problem!

 

The girls that your buddy is getting can you honestly say they are of the type of character you'd be willing to be in a LTR with?

 

What I believe my main problem with dating is that I seem to gravitate towards the girls that aren't compatible with me. Sometimes you need to get past the infatuation of that "cool girl" and honestly evaluate what you're looking for. Start to look for those things in women you admire and even if you meet someone who doesn't give you the feelings of infatuation just go ahead and give it a few dates and see where it goes. That's what I'm beginning to do. I haven't found anyone yet but I think my chances are going to be better at finding something lasting.

[Mr. Rooks]

Skywalker- There's been one or two that he's dated I was like man don't **** this up buddy she's a good one. In perfect form.... he did lol. Typically hell naw... I can't be around his gf's for more than 1/2 hour.

 

What I've noticed over time is I tend to bond better with women that are a little older than me. Most of the women I meet that are 30 - 33 or so have 4 kids and they are all in high school. So she's done having babies and rightfully so lol. I'm yeah this will be great but... I think I need to just take the chance with them. I enjoy talking with women at that age more because they aren't so concerned with playing goalie on the 5 hole. They can actually hold a fun conversation.