gv82 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Hi all, I just registered because there seems plenty of good advice here and I desperately need some! I've made a complete mess of things with a woman I really like. We've been out a few times over the last couple months, not dates just hanging out together in a group of mutual friends, mostly going to gigs. At the weekend we got on really well, spending most of the evening chatting away from the rest of the group. That was until she made it plain she wanted me to kiss her (leaning close, smiling, rubbing my hand). I get shy at the best of times, and with half my workmates watching on across the bar I bottled it and pretended not to notice. She went to the toilets, then snuck out without telling anyone. We don't see each other at work very often but I managed to catch her monday morning. She tried to ignore me, but her mate stopped her, saying, 'You're being spoken to.' I asked her if she'd got a minute, but she said no she was in a rush.' So what should I do now? Have I completely blown my chances with her? Should I keep persisting in trying to get her to talk? It's difficult because we rarely see one another at work ( and we're always busy when we do) and it could potentially be months before we go on another group outing. Nor do I have her number. Equally, I'm sure she won't appreciate being pestered at work, so should I just leave it and move on? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
BackUpOrGetStung Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Send her a short email, and just tell her that you like her, but you get nervous sometimes. End it with an invitation to do something fun together. If she wants to go with you, you're golden. If not, stop contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gv82 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 No email address unfortunately. Thanks though Link to post Share on other sites
BackUpOrGetStung Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Next available opportunity that you have, then. Link to post Share on other sites
mogul Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Perhaps she feels that she put herself out there with sending all the right signals and got rejected. Try to "run in to her" ASAP and start a light convo saying that you had fun that night but that there were too many coworkers around and you don't like to mix work and personal life for the world to see. Suggest a dinner or an activity together and see how she responds and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 The woman was given a clear indication as to what your priorities are. She didn't like them. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
welikeincrowds Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 The woman was given a clear indication as to what your priorities are. Whoa, whoa, whoa, no she wasn't! This guy didn't kiss her when he wanted to. This was fear, not conscious priority. He probably embarrassed her, but ironically they were both embarrassed! He should try again. The only problem is that he looks like he doesn't have very many avenues of contact, and he doesn't know her all too well. So it's going to be tough. OP, girls move fast from this sort of thing. You have to act relatively quickly without sounding desperate, and that's not easy. Personally, I had an experience that ended up in a similar situation, but I couldn't swing a recovery. Do try, but don't take it too hard if it doesn't work out. **** happens. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 His priorities are his workmates, and his reputation among them. Now what kind of a fool worth taking interest in prioritizes those over a woman? It was "plain" that she wanted him to kiss her, so there is no room for misinterpretation here. He still opted not to do so - because of his priorities. It's like a workaholic... when your priority is your job or your business - FINE! ... but just don't expect women (or anybody) to sit home contentedly and pine for you in your absense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gv82 Posted October 27, 2010 Author Share Posted October 27, 2010 In what way am i prioritizing my workmates over her? She's popular and not unattractive. If anything my reputation amongst my workmates would have improved! I bottled it because i'm not particularly comfortable with being the centre of attention. I was also drunk, which seems to have the opposite affect on me to most people, making me more introverted. If i'd been sober and on the ball i would have bitten the bullet and done it anyway whoever'd been watching. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 Oh great, now your priorities are your workmates, your reputation among them, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand alcohol? You are starting to sound like a great catch! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gv82 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Share Posted October 28, 2010 Are you being serious SincereOnlineGuy? How exactly am i prioritizing alcohol over her? You think iwas the only one drinking? If i'd known the likely course of events that evening i might well have gone on the shandy... unfortunately i'm not a clairvoyant! Link to post Share on other sites
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