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Inconsistent emotions..


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Old 27th July 2010, 10:42 PM   #1
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Inconsistent emotions..

Hey everyone,
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced something like this. I'm dating the most amazing man and yet.. I can't seem to stay excited about him. He's dazzlingly intelligent, cute in a sexy way, matches my sexuality wonderfully, and is really everything that I've ever wanted (only missing a few muscles). I'm never unexcited/turned-off by him, but.. still.

The problem is that my emotions are SUPER inconsistent. Some evenings/mornings, I feel SO close to him and have to bite back the "L" word.. but then I'll go to sleep, wake up, and feel "meh" regarding him. It's never negative, just this complete apathy. And it bothers me. It wasn't just with him--he's not my physical "ideal", although I'm still very attracted to him, and that's the only detriment I've found thus far, but it happened with another guy who was my physical ideal and seemed like a good guy (he turned out to be a jack***), and I would go back and forth about how I felt about him, too. I don't think this is specific to my current boyfriend.

In fact, I used to feel super close to my dad and now, while we're still very involved in each other's lives and "close", there's still this sense of apathy there--more of an emotional tinge attached--but there's still this giant void where emotion should be.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Could it be stress? I'm taking three work-intensive summer classes in addition to working and haven't really had much of a social life outside of homework, and am often tired. Any feedback would be appreciated. Can someone forget how to love people?
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Old 27th July 2010, 11:07 PM   #2
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That's interesting....

I had the same thing happen to me with the girl i was dating, at first everything was great, hung out couple times a week, she was very affectionette just like me, and she had warned me that she would get bored easily by guys, so i was in panic mode already but i kept it cool, then i suddenly got the feeling that she was losing interest, and maybe that it was my fault cuz i probably was too nice, and bored her, and didn't challenge her.

That might be happening here, maybe he is great on paper, or you might have some issues you have to deal with, but don't write him off just yet just see where it goes. He's probably no challenge to you, maybe things are getting pretty routine already?
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Old 27th July 2010, 11:14 PM   #3
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Girlfriend seems to be like that around me. I don't know what it feels like on that side, but I certainly do from the other. And we DO have problems, so the chances are, there is/are some sort of concious or unconcious negative feeling(s) you have towards him that's causing it.
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Old 28th July 2010, 12:41 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doomage View Post
I had the same thing happen to me with the girl i was dating, at first everything was great, hung out couple times a week, she was very affectionette just like me, and she had warned me that she would get bored easily by guys, so i was in panic mode already but i kept it cool, then i suddenly got the feeling that she was losing interest, and maybe that it was my fault cuz i probably was too nice, and bored her, and didn't challenge her.

That might be happening here, maybe he is great on paper, or you might have some issues you have to deal with, but don't write him off just yet just see where it goes. He's probably no challenge to you, maybe things are getting pretty routine already?
THIS makes me bang my head. Hearing about challenge. Why is that what women/men generally want. I think the more games being played the more undesirable the person becomes. Challenge to me means games. I'm going to go bury my head through the sheetrock wall. I understand not being a doormat but....... Seriously.
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Old 28th July 2010, 12:45 AM   #5
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OP, can you *accept* that your feelings, their variability in both breadth and depth, can be *normal* for you and in no way diminish the *choice* you make to act in a loving way to the people you *choose* to love and who love you?

Work on that.... Good luck
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