bbasher75 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 So I run into this woman and her boyfriend a lot sometimes in the day, and lately I notice she is not with the guy anymore. Mabye for the past 2 months or so. She's saying hi to me more now lately too, but I'm not sure if she's still with her boyfriend or not. Anyway I'd love to ask her out, but I talk to her a lot casually (and the guy she was with I might add before he vanished) so I don't want it to be awkward. How do I go about this? I run into her a lot, mind you. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 How do I go about this? just ask her out for dinner on a fri or sat nite. don't mention anything about the bf. she'll let you know if she's still "attached" Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Well, casually slip into the conversation. Say oh hows such and such, I haven't seen him around. Simples. Or casually invite her to dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Well, casually slip into the conversation. Say oh hows such and such, I haven't seen him around. thats stupid Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 thats stupid Why is it stupid? If he spoke to him a lot, he should be able to ask about him. If they have split, he'll sharp find out. And he removes the risk of coming on to another's woman too. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 OP, you just gave me a great idea... In your case, how would you approach her if you absolutely for sure knew she was single? Go with that Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Happy relationships.. hands off Bad relationships. game on If she and the BF aren't in the best of places.. go ahead and ask her out. If she don't talk about the BF.. don't worry about it. One of my roomies told us she invited her friend over for thanksgiving.. I asked if I had met her before. (I'm terrible with names and faces so I forget easy) She immediately said "She's got a BF.. she's dating my friend yaddayadda" Okey.. no problem.. no excessive flirting. Now that obviously dosen't rule out normal flirting just for fun w/o intention. All through prep/dinner I'm flirting with her and we are having a good time, and even after my roomie left and her friend stayed for another 4 hours.. not once did she mention a current BF. Lots of mentions of previous BF's.. but not a word about a current one. Now ladies... If you got a BF and are getting flirted with.. Do you tell them you got a BF or flirt back? (realize your friend is nearby and knows your BF) If she was happy with the BF.. wouldn't she have mentioned it over the course of the day? By not mentioning the BF.. she is tactly putting herself out there Link to post Share on other sites
citygal Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 If possible, get a mutual friend or acquaintance to ask her if she is still dating the other man. If that is not feasible, then ask her something like "How are things between you or him?". If you find out that she is single, then ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 If possible, get a mutual friend or acquaintance to ask her if she is still dating the other man. Link to post Share on other sites
in_absentia Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 'so, are you seeing anyone at the moment?' Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Maybe you should just ask her out. If she is still with this other man, she'll let you know (hopefully). If not, she might accept. There is nothing wrong with asking a woman out unless you know for a fact she is involved. You are allowed to make an honest mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Maybe you should just ask her out. If she is still with this other man, she'll let you know (hopefully). i already said that Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 So I run into this woman and her boyfriend a lot sometimes in the day, and lately I notice she is not with the guy anymore. Mabye for the past 2 months or so. She's saying hi to me more now lately too, but I'm not sure if she's still with her boyfriend or not. Anyway I'd love to ask her out, but I talk to her a lot casually (and the guy she was with I might add before he vanished) so I don't want it to be awkward. How do I go about this? I run into her a lot, mind you. Very simple my friend. Next time you see her you casually say "how is whats his face doing? I haven't seen him around in a bit?" Whether she is single or not, you will have your answer then. If she is single, then chat it up with her, do some flirting, and then ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Best to just find out. If she's willing to date you while she still has a bf, she's bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 If you asked me if I was married and I told you I was, what exactly would you know about me? Would you know I'm in the property settlement phase of divorcing and, legally, divorce is still many months away? Would you know that I haven't lived with my stbx in our marital home for over a year? Hardly ever talk to her, other than about divorce issues? I'm still married. To some, that implies unavailability for a relationship. I tend to agree with that perspective. Everyone has a unique perspective. My point is the only person who knows for sure the dynamic between the lady and her BF is the lady and her BF and she can choose to say whatever she wants but that doesn't alter the truth for them. If she still has 'feelings' for the BF, but isn't with him anymore ('we've broken up'), is she truly available? The OP doesn't seem to be bothered about the recent existence of a BF, so that's his path. If she wants to date him or 'hang out', she'll accept his kind invitation. What they do from there (regardless of acceptance or refusal) is up to them, just like with her and her BF and me and my stbx. You know, it's still possible for us to get back together, even after we're divorced. No law against it. Not gonna happen, but just sayin'. In another thread, a poster has now embarked on a new relationship stemming from the 'friendzone' by changing the mood of his intended. I found that experience to be enlightening. Perhaps the OP should read it, even if it's not applicable here. I remember the poster because of my interest in the 'Matrix' series of movies. His handle is 'agent smith'. My advice will continue to be to simply 'ask her out' and let the details take care of themselves. Better to keep things simple, IMO. Accept the yes or no and take it from there Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts