JoJola Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) ok, my boyfriend of five months came to my house tonight for dinner and meet the kids for the first time; he seemed comfortable but dinner was at 5 and he left at 6:30...I thought that he would stay longer and hang out. Is it strange that he only was here for 1 1/2 hours. Edited November 16, 2009 by JoJola NO response Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 can anyone help with this question Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 It all depend how he left. Is there something that may have scared him off? Did he leave suddenly or did it seem normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Maybe he just didn't want to push it with your kids. How did they react to him? Maybe he had some things to get done tonight? Was he pleasant when he left, or was he rushed and not very friendly? Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 ok, my boyfriend of five months came to my house tonight for dinner and meet the kids for the first time; he seemed comfortable but dinner was at 5 and he left at 6:30...I thought that he would stay longer and hang out. Is it strange that he only was here for 1 1/2 hours. Not enough info to go off of. What did he say when he left? -Pizzaman Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 No, when he left he gave me some kisses and when I aked him why he had to leave so suddenly he jst repsonded that he didnt think it was a good idea to stay any longer tonight! He did comment on my oldest giving him a dirty look, but i explained she is 16 and gives everyone dirty looks; however he sat at the table with my other little one (7) and joked a little and read a book some. One thing that was said .. he commented on how many men my children had meet..i responded i have a few guy friends that they know, but only one other guy i had dated had been around.....which i dated this guy for two years. His words were ... is she thinking on my another one which I dont know what gave him that impression. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Does he want to have kids ? Maybe the hard reality was too much for him.. until now your kids really weren't real for him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 Neither of us want more kids; I have two and he also has two so I dont think that is it Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 By the way.. the reason I asked that was if I were in his shoes I wouldn't stayed half the night till the kids were in bed.. I've been thru it before.. you and I mean that as a guy dating a woman with kids must really want kids in order for it to work. I was a step dad in a previous life but I love kids and wanted kids.. so meeting her child was a no brainer.. Instant family and all... bam.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I think he did the right thing. Teenagers (esp girls, i think) can be pretty harsh on new men in their mom's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Neither of us want more kids; I have two and he also has two so I dont think that is it Oh yes it it might have something to do with it... If you both got married he would be their father.. Step Father.. If I were you I would ask him why he left so fast after dinner..and expect an honest answer No self respecting man that wanted to win over the hearts of the children of the woman he loves would've left 1.5 hours after arriving for dinner.. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 I can understand the instant family thing and all but he also has kids and it goes both ways...yes 16 yr. olds can be harsh! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 Oh yes it it might have something to do with it... If you both got married he would be their father.. Step Father.. If I were you I would ask him why he left so fast after dinner..and expect an honest answer No self respecting man that wanted to win over the hearts of the children of the woman he loves would've left 1.5 hours after arriving for dinner.. JMO ok, i jst got off the phone, I asked him if my kids scared him away; his comments were that he had things to do and I had to work the next day...which its 6:30 and he knows I dont go to bed at 8 or anything.....he said he ate so much he was sleepy and ready for bed..he said it was weird being here and not having sex...whats up with that..did he leave cause he was turned on and if sex is what you want why bother coming and meeting the kids at all..... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I can understand the instant family thing and all but he also has kids and it goes both ways...yes 16 yr. olds can be harsh! Are you the custodial parent ? is he with his children ? I do think you should speak with him about this.. there is more than a mean stare from a 16 year old behind it.. It might just be that he felt out of place or it could be more but you really should dig to find out why.. 1.5 hours isn't very much time when you think about it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 ok, i jst got off the phone, I asked him if my kids scared him away; his comments were that he had things to do and I had to work the next day...which its 6:30 and he knows I dont go to bed at 8 or anything.....he said he ate so much he was sleepy and ready for bed..he said it was weird being here and not having sex...whats up with that..did he leave cause he was turned on and if sex is what you want why bother coming and meeting the kids at all..... If he had some many things to do then why did he commit to something with so much importance as the first dinner together with you and your children ? Weird being there and not having sex.. oh boy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 ok, i jst got off the phone, I asked him if my kids scared him away; his comments were that he had things to do and I had to work the next day...which its 6:30 and he knows I dont go to bed at 8 or anything.....he said he ate so much he was sleepy and ready for bed..he said it was weird being here and not having sex...whats up with that..did he leave cause he was turned on and if sex is what you want why bother coming and meeting the kids at all..... Art Critic above was his response Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Art Critic above was his response Yeah.. his response doesn't impress me.. but then it isn't me that has to be around him Honestly.. it doesn't sound like his whole heart is in the relationship, but only time will tell.. Gauge his next reactions.. If all he wants is sex then you have your answer and if that is okay with you then all is good to go.. but if you are looking for more then this might be a red flag.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoJola Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 Well I guess maybe he jst did this to appease me....cause I had commmented on meeting the kids and the realtionship progressing...i didnt threaten to stop seeing him or anyting..just brought it up about two weeks ago... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Well JJ.. it sounds like this isn't a deal breaker.. At least you kinda know where it sits right now.. Maybe later on down the road he will soften up some with the children angle Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Well I guess maybe he jst did this to appease me....cause I had commmented on meeting the kids and the realtionship progressing...i didnt threaten to stop seeing him or anyting..just brought it up about two weeks ago... That's exactly what I was going to say, that he did it only to appease you and wasn't personally interested in getting to know your kids. Sounds like he wanted s-e-x and felt he wasn't going to get it with the kids at your home so he took off so he wouldn't have to get to know them better since you said they've met very few of the men in your life so he was at least being considerate and didn't want to cause them harm, feeling that he didn't want to stick around to get to know them in the long run. Plus on top of it if he felt unwelcomed by your daughter and that didn't help to win him over. You repeatedly mention he has 2 kids. Whether he has 2 or 500 that doesn't mean he automatically is going to want to be the father figure for yours and take on that responsibility if he feels you're not someone he thinks he might marry or be with for the long run, at least not right now. I think he is being careful not to hurt them since they have only met your 2 year long boyfriend (aside from regular friends). On the other hand maybe he really was tired after the big meal but I doubt that that alone was the reason he left so early, eating and taking off like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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