wonderfulkittykitty Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Hi, i am not sure if i am writing this thread in the right forum as i am new on here. I would like some advice on my sisters behalf so here it goes: My sister has been feeling so down recently as her boyfriend of 1 and half years doen't seem interested in her anymore, they first got together when she was bout 2 month pregnant and he was willing to bring the child up as his own, the baby is now 1years old and he has just lost all interest in her, they both dont work as they are struggling to find work and he is basically on the his playstation 3 or pc most of the day and goes to sleep late in the morning about 3 and wakes up about 8 or 9 ish, he occasionally pops in to play with his son but other than that she says its as if they were flat mates not lovers. They used to have sex atlest once or twice a week now it is like once every two or three months. She has tried spiceing things up in the bedroom (e.g wearing sexy clothes)but he just tells her to go get some clothes on or that he cant be bovered. She is starting to feel that it might b her thats the problem, but i keep reasuring her it definatly isn't. She did tell me that very early in the relationship she caught him talking to a girl on the internet and saying things that he shudn't, and he said he wudn't do anything like that again, but not to long ago she found a email off a site that he had been on so she went on it and it didnt show that he has had any conversations but it did show he had sent winks at girls but he denied this. The questions she keeps asking me is: Could he be cheating? Is it because he is bored with the same routine each day? Is he only staying with her because of the baby? I suggested maybe she should have a little break from him and if does want to be with her he would realise what he has missed and be all over her and would change, and if not then it shows he doesn't. Could i have some advice that i can tell her as it is really causing problems for her and making her feel soo low Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Well I think he's definitely cheating on her emotionally. And if he's sending out winks then I'm going to assume this is on a dating site, and if he's on a dating site then that in itself should be a big red flag. With that said, I'm wondering since you didn't really specify, is the kid his biologically or is he just helping to raise the kid? Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 It could any number of things....the bottom line is that he's not attracted to her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Guys are sexual creatures. The only way they're not getting sex is if they're denied it. Otherwise, they wouldn't turn it down when presented to them. I agree with Aero, that he's having an emotional affair and I agree with Johnny M that he's not attracted to your sister anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderfulkittykitty Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 The baby is not his biologically but he is trying to raise it up as his, do you think this might be part of his problem? Do you guys think that the idea for them to have a break away from each other would be a good one or not to bother? Link to post Share on other sites
Brady_to_Moss Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Theres another girl. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 The baby is not his biologically but he is trying to raise it up as his, do you think this might be part of his problem? Do you guys think that the idea for them to have a break away from each other would be a good one or not to bother? Yeah well I think this could be another part of the problem although there seems to have been a problem with him having emotional affairs from the outset. Some guys (actually just about every guy I know) doesn't really like the idea of raising a kid that isn't biologically theirs. There are exceptions where some guys don't mind, but for the most part alot of guys tend to avoid this situation from what I've seen. So maybe he's found some single girl with no kids that he's alot more into than your sister and he's starting to resent her for making him an instant father to a kid that isn't even his (although he made this choice consciously by himself). So now he's living out his life of being single and not tied down with kids and all the responsibilities that are associated with having a family with this other girl. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I think he took on a huge responsibility to your sister and her child that he wasn't ready for. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Hum... he probably is cheating on her.. They are probably both overwhelmed with financial stress... it's not easy. The baby is not his so, although, he said he will take care of him.. he probably doesn't feel the same connection as if the baby was his.. If I were her.. I would simply leave him.. better now.. she can move on with her child.. it will end up that way anyway.. so better now than later with more financial stresses.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderfulkittykitty Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 Thank you all for your opinions on this situation i will show my sister and see what she says and does. If anyone else would like to say what they think about this situation, please do as it might help my sister alot Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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