LostInLA Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 How do you men feel about meeting a woman (early 30s) and you find out her last relationship lasted for 10 years? Is this a turn off? Does the amount of time since the break up factor in and if so, what's a decent amount of time? Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 For a LTR.. I'd not "commit" for at least a year or so, myself. I'm not too keen on hopping on the rebound train. It's also not a turn off to me at all. If anything it shows that you like to commit and are faithful...unless that's why your breakup took place. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
JohnP82 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) I think I would be a little more hesitant with any woman that just got out of a long term relationship regardless of age. I don't want to be a rebound. However that's just my opinion because I've been burned before. I suppose the amount of time would be a factor also but it might not matter. Like all things I guess I would judge her based on her actions to see if she was really over the last guy and ready for another relationship. Edited October 28, 2009 by JohnP82 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostInLA Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 I guess I'm asking because of the reactions I've been getting with some new friends I'm making right now. I'll finally get to a point where I mention I just had a break up a while ago and then the conversation will get going and I'll say, "Yah, we were together for 10 years..." and I get the same reaction of utter shock on their face. Kinda makes me wonder what reaction I will get once I start dating again. I know I will be anxious about talking about my past with a new guy...so it's good to hear that it's not necessarily going to scare a guy away...right? Link to post Share on other sites
weeble78 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi LostInLA I'm in kind of the same position as you really - I got out of a 7 year relationship 2 months ago and having closed the door on that chapter of my life am ready to go out dating. I have been doing this and been out several times, and so far it seems that guys either think I must just be after sex, or on the rebound and either way don't take me seriously. I actually went on a date with a guy who didn't talk about anything else all night - apart from phoning his Mum to get me to speak to her about how good his yorkshire puddings were - eek! I think we need more responses from guys as I'm interested in they way they think as, so far, it seems to be wildly different to the way I do!!x Link to post Share on other sites
JohnP82 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 No I wouldn't say it would scare most guys away or me. However, I would proceed with caution. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 If you just got out of a long term relationship, I dont want to be your rebound, or waste me time if youre going to go back to your ex. I would probably make sure you were really over, and give you some time to get over things. It just seems like a couple months after 10 years with someone isnt enough, and I would be very leery that I was just a distraction for you. If we were both just looking for sex, I guess it would be fine, but I would wonder how ready you could be after only being single for a couple months after so long with someone else. Does the amount of time since the break up factor in and if so, what's a decent amount of time? I would personally say at least 6 months, but each situation is different. If you only dated a couple of months, than whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 It depends on the person. Half a yr does sound like a good amount of time. My buddy dated a woman 3 months after her breakup for a month & then she went back to her ex. I'd be concerned about that myself. Link to post Share on other sites
back2gether Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I don't think that it is a big deal unless you make it one. If you are worried about it too much, guys will pick up on that. Just be honest and tell then the truth. If you are truly over the other guy, then tell them that. It wouldn't scare me unless I thought they weren't over the person. I think 6 months would be enough time for most to start dating again. Link to post Share on other sites
bean1 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I think the reason for the break-up is very important. My H was in one of those long-term relationships before I met him. He said the reason they broke up was because she got depression and the relationship just fizzled after many years of that (which is true, I later found out, from mutual friends). He never said anything bad about her, there was no drama involved, no accusations, etc. Now, if there was a bunch of drama, accusations, back-n-forth Judge Judy crap, commitment issues, I would've said "see ya!". Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostInLA Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 Yah at this point, I feel like if I meet any guys, they are going to be after only one thing and not take me seriously. Which is actually just fine for me right now, after only 7 months I'm still not ready to meet someone special and I'm thinking of just having some fun. However when the time comes for me when I will want a relationship, I hope this LTR in my recent past won't be a hindrance! Link to post Share on other sites
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