Relationship Between a Person of Faith and an Agnostic

[tomtom26]

Has anyone every been in this type of relationship? Did it work?

 

I'm agnostic and have just met someone that I really like, however, she considered herself a Christian. She only attends church on holidays, but has said that god is important to her and that god has a plan for her life.

 

I'm kinda worried about this because I'm not religious at all. I actually don't believe in the conventional idea of god, adam&eve, jesus, etc. I believe in a higher power, but definitely don't and probably will not follow any organized religion.

 

Thoughts?

[Phedre]

I think you need to ask her/she needs to be VERY clear about what exactly she expects out of her partner regaurding religion. It may simple be that she wants to go to the holiday services with her but other than that, religion isn't a constant topic or reference in your lives. As an agnostic myself, have sat through services for many different faiths and it isn't hard... actually I find it interesting and amusing, but try to keep the smirk wiped off your face while you are there. lol... This may be a ways ahead of you and this chick, but even still I think you need to discuss how any children would be raised.. have you thought about how you feel about your children going to church with either both parents or even just your spouse who happens to be religious to some degree? No point in being in a relationship if you already know you have a marriage deal breaker IMO.

[EarthGirl]

My brother is an agnostic and I have always been a person of faith..in one way or another. We were raised Catholic but not very strictly...and we all kind of strayed from the church when we were teenagers and our mom didn't make us go anymore because she though we should make our own minds up.

 

Well we did...but I chose to be "spiritual" and just make it up as I went along, but I was pretty much always sure of God and heaven and angels, and that sort of thing. My brother has a very scientific mind and is an intellectual and academic...very smart and knowledgable about science, history, that kind of stuff...And he is a natural skeptic. He does not consider himself atheist though, he is just the type that will only believe in what he can see with his own eyes and/or can be proven scientfically. I guess since it can't be disproven that God DOESN'T exist either, in his mind he has no reason to be atheist either. But I have always sensed a WANT in him to believe. And he has never put down my beliefs, only chuckled at me and rolled his eyes occasionally in a playful brotherly way when he hears some of the crazy stuff I come up with...I am total opposite, I'll believe pretty much anything, ghosts, psychics, tarot, astrology...my mind is open, though I don't believe EVERYTHING I hear, I knew that lots of stuff is a scam, and I rely on my instincts to guess what is and what isn't...it's hard to know sometimes though, but it doesn't really matter, point is I'm OPEN to just about anything.

 

About a year ago I started reading about a bunch of different religions and something inside me wanted to belong somewhere. I kind of gravitated toward Judaism, and now I want to be Jewish, and I hope to convert someday. Although tarot and some of that stuff isn't supposed to be really kosher in Judaism, but I feel it is the religion that most fits me and I kinda want some guidance to follow on my way through life and people to belong to, you know? It's very exciting to me because I've never felt like I belonged before, at least with the religious thing...that there were beliefs and teachings that I could really relate to and could actually really help me maybe.

 

Anyway I'm rambling...I just wanted to say that what works for me and my bro is great for our relationship...But in a romantic relationship that is not necessarily a closer bond, but just different...I think it's totally cool for one partner to be agnostic and one to be Christian (although if you were atheist I would say that's just asking for trouble)..The important thing is not to put down eachothers' beliefs (or non-beliefs) and always be open to the other side being right and you being wrong (even if deep in your heart you believe your own truth, you always leave JUST a little room for doubt, and I think this is the key to peaceful unions of any sort)...

 

With agnostics it's kinda like O positive blood in relationships (or is it negative, I don't know I'm not in the medical profession I only learned that from watching ER and such)...It is compatible with pretty much any other other "type" of beliefs because it is a viewpoint of uncertainty, and open-ness...You'll just need to check yourself when talking religion that she does not push anything on you that you feel is uncomfortable ..and that you do not make her feel stupid or wrong for her point of view either.

 

When it comes to going to church and celebrating holidays, etc. I don't see what harm can come from participating (unless she has relatives or pastors, etc. that want to convert you and try to but in-watch out for that)...It's always interesting to learn about other religions/cultures even if you don't always believe in everything yourself...Kinda like going to a movie..it may or may not be based on fiction or truth, doesn't mean you can't enjoy it either way and find meaning in it. I think unless she is a real hardcore perhaps Evangelical Christian or whatever and needs everyone she associates with, especially intimate relationships to believe as she does in order for her to feel comfortable, and believes anyone who doesn't except Jesus as their personal savior no matter how good a person they are and how much good they've done in their life is going to hell when they die (that is only a portion of Christians, don't know if your girlfriend is one of them or not)...I don't see that there should be any problem.

 

But I'm sure she would appreciate if you participated occasionally in going to church and celebrating holidays, and stuff...cause it will make both of you feel like you are really part of eachothers' lives. It's important to her so I'm sure she would like that.

[aerogurl87]

I'm agnostic too, but I think a relationship between someone whose agnostic and someone who has a sense of faith can work out well. It all just comes down to them respecting each others' views on religion. I know personally though I could never date someone who was overly religious since that would drive me crazy.

[UrKillinMeSmalls]

Has anyone every been in this type of relationship? Did it work?

 

I'm agnostic and have just met someone that I really like, however, she considered herself a Christian. She only attends church on holidays, but has said that god is important to her and that god has a plan for her life.

 

I'm kinda worried about this because I'm not religious at all. I actually don't believe in the conventional idea of god, adam&eve, jesus, etc. I believe in a higher power, but definitely don't and probably will not follow any organized religion.

 

Thoughts?

 

You can be spiritual with her without having to commit to any one religion. Just always be respectful of her beliefs and ask her to do the same. If you care about and like each other, you won't let it come between you.

 

Even if you are a damn dirty pagan.... Lol jk

[caramel c]

Has anyone every been in this type of relationship? Did it work?

 

I'm agnostic and have just met someone that I really like, however, she considered herself a Christian. She only attends church on holidays, but has said that god is important to her and that god has a plan for her life.

 

I'm kinda worried about this because I'm not religious at all. I actually don't believe in the conventional idea of god, adam&eve, jesus, etc. I believe in a higher power, but definitely don't and probably will not follow any organized religion.

 

Thoughts?

 

I don't think this would work. This is a very big thing to disagree on, and most people will have issues in their relationship because of this disagreement. There are exceptions to everything I suppose, but the odds are highly against you.

[BobSacamento]

Has anyone every been in this type of relationship? Did it work?

 

I'm agnostic and have just met someone that I really like, however, she considered herself a Christian. She only attends church on holidays, but has said that god is important to her and that god has a plan for her life.

 

I'm kinda worried about this because I'm not religious at all. I actually don't believe in the conventional idea of god, adam&eve, jesus, etc. I believe in a higher power, but definitely don't and probably will not follow any organized religion.

 

Thoughts?

 

Is it really what you believe in that matters or whether you will judge another person for what they believe in?

 

You must acknowledge that Christianity is a missionary religion. Christians will want to speak to you about their religion. And Christians are not perfect. They tend to not practice what they preach when it comes to the subject of tolerance.

 

If you can't tolerate simple discussions then I would say dump her.

[nobody's girl]

My best friend is agnostic. His fiancee is very christian. They don't always see eye to eye on things, but they respect each other's views and opinions. They're not getting married in a church "out of respect for his feelings on religion" - that's a direct quote from her. Like anything else in a relationship, there's give and take.