silvergirl Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 My boyfirend hid his cell phone from me. What does he have to hide. It's hard to believe he's cheating on me, because we work together and practically live together so I always know where he is. What would be the reasons behind hiding his phone? Am I being naive. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I guess it depends. If you are harassing him about seeing it, he may be hiding it out of spite. Chances are though, he's hiding it because there is stuff on there he doesn't want you to see. If a person wants to cheat, they will make the time to do it. Trust me on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 He doesn't trust you. There may be something in your history with him or insecurities of his own due to present or past actions. Tell me, does he scrutinize your activities? If yes, that, along with his behavior about his phone, would be a strong indicator to me that he's not being entirely honest with you about the relationship and monogamy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author silvergirl Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 He doesn't scrutinize things I do, there is just major trust issues in our relationship. I didn't ask him to see his phone, but it was on the counter lastnight, and I asked him if he wanted me to plug it in for him, he said no. Well, this morning I woke up to go to work and it was nowhere in sight. It was like he thought, she'll look at it if I leave it out. I've told him numerous times, if you talk to other girls, just tell me, don't keep it from me. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Are you sure that you are not just being overly sensitive? Was this just a one-off? If the phone was on the counter then he was not trying to hide it earlier in the evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author silvergirl Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 I may be. I have really bad trust issues. I have found out about him talking to a girl before, and what made me so mad, is I told him to tell me. When you hide things, that's when it looks like something is going on, so I just don't trust him. He's told me, "I didn't want you to get mad", but I told him I wouldn't if he told me the truth. The finding out about it, is the bad part to me. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 OP, unless that experience was part of a pattern, I'd assign little importance to it. I have a trick I like to use when I want to find my wife's phone, usually when she has misplaced it or forgotten where it is. I call it and then wander the house and cars looking for it. Just the simple dynamic of you asking if his phone needs charging and then the phone disappearing after he said no tells me a lot about your relationship. It's not about the phone Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 You do need to talk openly about these trust issues with your boyfriend but in a way that will help you both find a way of dealing with them. I am not saying don't ever question what your boyfriend is doing, but if you are constantly worrying about who he is talking to yet telling him it's OK as long as he tells you, then you may end up forcing him away from you. He should not feel as if he has to tell you his every move or recount every conversation he has with another woman. Just because he does not tell you something, does not mean he is hiding something. Do you tell him about every man you speak to? He may well be scared to tell you anything because he knows how strongly you react. Has he ever really done anything to make you doubt him? Anything more than just talking to a woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Author silvergirl Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 No, that is the only thing he's done to make me not trust him. I guess I feel insecure in this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Then please talk to him and explain how you feel and that you know this is a reflection on your own personal insecurities and not about anything he has done. Or are there other problems in the relationship that may be making you question it? If not, then you need to take action to change your behaviours otherwise you will never really be happy in this or any other relationship. Have you considered some form of counselling? Link to post Share on other sites
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