prettybaby Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 How do we completely get over the fact that we were once (8 years ago) student-teacher? Our dates have been amazing; awesome chemistry, conversations flow with so much ease, we laugh and giggle all the time, we have a ton in common. The time we spend together is all around lovely and always seems to go by too fast. However, it's not evolving very quickly as far as the physical aspect goes. I think our background situation is part of the problem. I'm starting to realize he's not making too many moves because he's basically the one who would look like he's taking advantage or whatever, even though I'm clearly into him. Should I just make moves myself? He hasn't rejected any physical contact I've initiated, but he still seems to treat me like this precious little thing that he adores but can't touch. It's adorable and frustrating at the same time. I want to make things progress SOON. And I'm not sure how to go about this. I also thought about addressing the whole "former student-teacher" issue directly to him, and basically talk it out openly. We have been avoiding this subject in a pretty obvious way, and I'm sensing some holding back on that particular point. So I don't know. What do you guys think? My friends say I'm the one with the upper hand and that it's basically up to me. He's a shy guy on top of it. Please don't tell me he's not into me lol He is. He treats me like a queen, and he basically introduced me as his girlfriend on New Year. However, something's holding him back a little, and I want to loosen him up some. Or perhaps I should just let things evolve naturally and be relaxed and patient? Maybe the fact that it's going slower than past relationships isn't such a bad thing? I need opinions Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 How long have you been dating? If more than a month and 4 to 6 "dates", I'd have the talk with him. There's a good chance that he bonded with you as a student and, as a good teacher will do, switched off any possibility of anything more, even as a fantasy. That switch can be hard to change back once it's set. It's like you developing a great friendship with a guy while you're involved with someone. You turn the sex switch off and he then just doesn't appear sexual to you, even though you might love him dearly as a friend. Later, if circumstances change, you have to evolve your feelings and thoughts into becoming comfortable being sexual with him and finding him sexually attractive, even if you might otherwise have found him that way anyway. Clear as mud? Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettybaby Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 lol you do make sense actually. Although I find him insanely attractive and really have to fight the urge as I'm often told the man should be the one initiating. And yes, yesterday was our 5th date. He has wanted to kiss me several times already (and twice yesterday), but then blushed and chickened out. I guess I might have to have a talk with him. I'm not sure yet. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 "It's always appropriate and welcomed for a gentleman to kiss a lady goodnight" said in your best Audrey Hepburn voice IMO, the trick here is maintaining the male "aggressor" dynamic while helping him understand that you are no longer his student and don't have some schoolgirl infatuation, but rather the attraction of a mature adult woman. It's a process Adding, try, when out having a good time, taking his hand, spontaneously. Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettybaby Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 ^^ yeah, and a long one at that it seems lol We do kiss each other goodnight each time ... on the cheek. Sometimes it's a little slower and our skin will slowly brush .... heaven. Still hasn't aimed for the lips though. Booh. I guess having "the talk" before we kiss would kill it. I guess I'll just be patient and make some moves without doing the actual kissing? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Simple....and it's something I'm aware of, being married and doing a lot of cheek kissing. Women rotate their heads. I swear it wasn't me Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettybaby Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 Alright ... hand holding, rotate head, got it lol Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 The key thing to watch with the cheek kissers is how they embrace you. Upper body only, hands-high? Friend. Full body, hands running down back to waist? Um, yeah, that would be a lecherous old married fart Seriously, body language is an important indicator, and it goes both ways. Be mindful Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettybaby Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 ^^ You're right. I'm a bit shy tho and so is he. I might swallow a few shots of whiskey to loosen up a bit before our next date ughh Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 See that avatar in my post? It's next to the definition of "shy" in the dictionary. You'll get over it Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettybaby Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 Aw. Well thanks for your encouragement Link to post Share on other sites
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