Jaime Lynn Posted July 3, 2002 Share Posted July 3, 2002 Hi everyone, hopefully I can get some answers........ 6 months ago I met a wonderful man, when we met it was instant chemistry and we proceeded to spend practically every day together, it was amazing.... After 2 months, we went on a cruise together...when we got home I got a call....form his WIFE! She claimed to be pregnant,a nd saw his luggage tags (how she got my #) and did admit to being separated. When I confronted him, he said he got married on a whim, only knew her for 4 months, knew immediately it was a mistake and got separated. She claimed she couldnt get pregnant, and BOOM, 2 weeks after the separation, she tells him she is pregnant. His atty advised him not to get divorced yet due to the medical costs of the delivery, and they had been separated ever since. Why wasnt he honest with me about this in the beginning? He claims he was embarrased, didnt want to lose me, and was trying to find the right way to tell me. He claimed I was different, that he loved being with me and could I forgive him. Well dumbass me did. 4 months later, we are still getting along, he is divorced, baby is 2 months old, and everything seems fine except for one thing. Not only did we not fight, it seems we were devoid of all emotion all together! We were more like best friends, not lovers. Finally I ask him, "What do you feel?" Not just about us, but about ANYTHING. Well that was it. He jumped ship. said he needed "time to think", whatever...He hasnt called since. I still have some of his belongings, you would think that he would want them. Look, I know i was foolish to forigve him, I hve come to grips with that, my question is, how can you spend EVERYDAY with someone and then just leave it like nothing ever was started?!?!? The hardest part for me has been breaking the habit. I miss him, what can I say. What I want to know is how can he not miss me?? Thanks.......... Jaime Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled Posted July 3, 2002 Share Posted July 3, 2002 There is nothing wrong with forgiving him. You are the bigger person... and as harsh as this may seem he just did you a favor!!! It's better that you find out now that he's a jerk rather than later when he married YOU on a whim and then bailed on you once you were preg. This boy can't commit, and that's something he's going to have to deal with on his own! Sorry to break it to you... but this really is a blessing in disguise. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 3, 2002 Share Posted July 3, 2002 Anybody who gets married on a whim after dating somebody four months has not got all his marbles. You were a whim as well, plain and simple. You were a diversion from all the headstuff of the divorce, child on the way, anticipated court hearings and child support, etc., etc. I'm very sure he would have ultimately told you something about his situation if his relationship with you lasted long enough but I don't think he was really wanting it to last. He is a user and used his ex and used you to. It's very sad because people lie about their situations, agendas, etc., all the time. This guy was deceitful and a fraud. There are many of those around and you have to be careful of them. The best way to detect them is when they don't introduce you to their friends or have you very involved in their everyday lives. Call his wife and thank her for informing you of his status. Chalk this up to a life experience and lets hope it doesn't happen again. You don't miss him at all. What you miss is an illusion...the idea that you had formed about what he was all about. With this new information, it won't take you long at all to forget him. Remember, the person you were fond of never existed. Only the person he wanted you to think he was. Love can really be a bitch sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
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